It's A Mad World

I Moved!

2008-05-01T11:52:00.001-07:00

Same Girl, New Place! If you want to kick it old school, stick around, but we are living it up over here these days! See ya there!

That's Gonna Leave a Mark!

I teach the important stuff...

2007-02-05T10:54:00.000-07:00

This story is a little late, and I have emailed it to many already. But since I do not keep a journal I need to put it here for posterity.
You might remember long ago when Ethan was learning about Martin Luther King Jr. Well, it was high time Tyler learned a thing or two. Only I was teaching him about sorting laundry, not people.

We are living at Ryan's Grandpa's house and he has a huge laundry room. So over MLK weekend I thought I would teach the kids to separate their laundry like my Mom did, you know with laundry baskets with signs above them. I thought since the kids are young I would only do two baskets so they wouldn't get confused. I did one sign that says "Whites and lights" and one sign that says "Darks and Coloreds" (Hang on, let me smack myself in the forehead ONE MORE TIME, I don't think I did it hard enough the first 7 times). Perhaps you see where this is going...

So on MLK day, the boys were home from school and I was teaching them ~~to be my slaves~~ the value of hard work. I asked Ethan and Tyler to go sort the dirty laundry in their room ( our first attempt at the new sorting system). They came out and this was our conversation:

TYLER: Mom, I get it. (he said this with kinda a nod and a thumbs up)
ME: You get what?
TYLER: You always have such fun ways to teach us stuff
MOM: Well, you need to learn to sort laundry!
TYLER: No, not that mom!
MOM: What did I teach you?
TYLER: You taught us to separate whites and darks, just like Martin Luther King
(Right about here, my mouth dropped open, and he grinned and gave me kinda a "way to go" nod, hang on, I need to smack myself in the forehead harder this time)
ME: Tyler that is NOT what I am teaching you!!! I am JUST teaching you to separate LAUNDRY not PEOPLE!!!
TYLER: Why?
(Here I thought he was asking me why we separate our laundry, not why do we separate people...or whatever...I am confused now like I was then)
ME: Well when you do laundry you have to separate them, because if we wash the white with colors we will ruin the whites
As it left my mouth I realized I had just made this whole thing worse...

I tried to recover but Tyler was thinking a "People analogy" and I was thinking a "laundry analogy".

We sat down and talked all about it, and I think he understood, but then he wants to be a dollar when he grows up

Hello?! Is this thing on?

2007-01-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

First of all, a few answers.

"Where have you been?" I have been here all along. I just haven't had anything pressing, or of importance to say. I have been lazy. I have been too busy with life. I have been busy reading some of my favorite blogs. And, don't forget, I am lazy.

"Are you coming back?" Oh, I'm coming back. Like, right now.

"How are things going?" Things are going. It has been crazy. We have done some moving and growing and settling down only to work ourselves back up again.

"Do you still partake of the sweet juices of the Gods" (a.k.a. Dr. Pepper) Well, thank you for asking. Yes, yes I do. Still diet, although no one told my backside it is diet.

The fact that people actually had these questions for me was, well, touching. Except for the person who asked me if I still had my kids. That was weird. Maybe he or she thought I gave my writing material up for adoption because I couldn't handle the madness. Whatever though, it was nice to be missed.

See ya much sooner. Like tomorrow. And it'll be good because leave it to my kids to shake things up the first minute I sit down in I don't know how long to write an entry. In the few short minutes I have sat here they have managed to probably get CPS called because I am so incredibly negligent. Maybe that's what that question about "do I still have my kids" is about. From the looks of my kids playroom and the fighting that has been going on in the last 10 minutes maybe I should reconsider this whole "comeback" thing.

Kitchen After

2007-01-03T16:18:00.000-07:00

Long time...no see

2006-09-20T11:57:00.000-07:00

Man it has been awhile, huh? I have had some blogging withdrawals. First I was shaky, then sweaty. But I couldn’t stay away. Just couldn’t make a clean break. So here I sit, in front of my computer with a blank page, wondering what I should cover first…

The fact that I look fat in these pants?
How excited I am that Fall television shows are starting?
Who is going to win Project Runway (I know that technically Project Runway could fall under the above mentioned “television shows” but this one deserves a bullet-point all it’s own…am I right or am I right?)
Do I get serious for a moment about how far and hard I fell off the “No Dr. Pepper horse”? I am dangerously close to checking myself into Diet Dr. Pepper with Cherry and Vanilla rehab? There isn’t one you say? Well, then, I am about to start one and it will make me rich because I couldn’t possibly be alone in my sad but delicious little addiction.
Or what about the personality traits of travelers? What it means if you are a over-packer or an under-packer.
Or what about my moronic conversation with security at the airport. I talk too much, and apparently asking questions at the airport these days is grounds for arrest.
Or dare I discuss a much more personal experience, like the reason I did traveling at all recently? It includes me loving my Grandpa.
Or the fact that I am in a bit of a funk these days? I am. I have had one bad hair day too many lately.

Life truly has gotten MAD lately. Life with my kids is busy…Ryan is busy at work… all the stuff that contributes, greatly, to my Dr. Pepper habit. It is like a spoonful of medicine. Anti-Crazy medicine. So I can’t quit it just yet, not for about 30 more years. I am okay with that, except I won’t be getting any skinnier in my pants in the mean time.

Wanna Play Gay?

2006-08-30T09:10:00.001-07:00

Tyler (my 6 year old) and I were hanging out the other day and that was the question he asked me.

TYLER: Wanna Play Gay?
ME: Huh, wha? Ummm... I'm not sure I know how to play.
TYLER: It's easy, we play it at school all the time!
ME: (inner monologue: Oh, Crap...) You do? Well tell me how!
TYLER: Well, pretty much I say a word, you use it in a sentence and the last word in the sentence is my word. Like I say "flower" and you say "The flowers are pretty." and then I make a sentence that has "pretty" in it.
ME: Why in the world (praytell) is that called "gay"?
TYLER: Oh, easy, because that was the first word Jacob said, so that's what we call it.
ME: Oh, right...easy. Duh. So do you know what gay means?
TYLER: Well, Jacob said it means happy, but, well that's dumb. Happy means happy. ( he was making a face and shaking his head like that was total bull)
ME: Well, it can mean happy. But it also means, when a boy really loves another boy, or a girl really loves another girl.
TYLER: Oh, you mean like how I love Dad.
ME: No, I mean like how I love Dad. When 2 boys or 2 girls kiss and stuff, that kind of love.

Tyler was looking more confused than ever. I saw his friendship with his best friend Braden running through his mind, or him thinking "I guess my brother Ethan" things like that. Trying to figure out what in the world I was saying. I could tell I totally just blew his mind.

ME: Whaddya think?
TYLER: But girls like boys and girls like boys.
ME: That's often the case, but not always.

And because I was curious about what he thought, I asked him this...

ME: So Tyler, when you grow up are you going to like boys or girls?
TYLER: Ya know, Mom? I just don't think I am ready to make that decision.
ME: Uh, Okay. Fair enough.

Just not ready to lock into a team yet. Not ready to make any commitments. Atleast he wants to make an educated and well informed decision. I mean, I can respect that.

Obviously a 6 year old doesn't grasp the concept, and in his mind, he does love his best friend, Braden. And his brothers and Dad. And in 6 year old land, that is the only kind of love there is.

The boy who almost wasn't

2006-08-27T09:09:00.000-07:00

Calvin-Doobies is FOUR YEARS OLD today!!! I can't believe it. I look back at the day each of my children were born and each experience was an amazing, emotional, spiritual experience. But Calvin's birth was different. Very different, one that I thankfully never had to experience again.

When Tyler was 2, we had fully planned to wait until he was much older before we got pregnant again. We both felt really good about waiting. One day though I was sitting at church and out of nowhere I felt a feeling come over me much like a punch in the stomach. I was so overcome by the feeling that I started to cry, it was a feeling that I needed to get pregnant. NOW. I tried hard to fight the feeling for a few weeks, but it stayed with me. It was October when that happened, around that same time, Ethan started making a Christmas List. All he wanted for Christmas was a "nother brother". We explained how impossible and highly unlikely that was.In November, Ryan and I had an experience, we went to the temple, afterwards he came up to me and said, "Uh, Linsey..." and I just said "I know". We both knew we needed desperately to get pregnant. We did, and even in time for Christmas. we told Ethan and Tyler we were pregnant Christmas morning.

It was a difficult pregnancy for me emotionally. Life, outside the womb, was turning upside down. And the only thing getting me through things was that little baby in my belly.

Near the end of the pregnancy I got paranoid, like I do with every last 6 weeks of pregnancy. I would think I wasn't feeling him move or something was wrong. I finally called the Doctor and told him that I knew something was wrong. I felt movement but it had changed. We went in for non-stress tests and we detected movement and a heartbeat, but it was sometimes very faint. We did several ultrasounds and they measured him and said he was (they were guessing) a large baby, he was measuring big, but everything looked okay, except that his lungs did not seem ready to try to make it on thier own. We watched and watched his lungs for about 10 days. I went in one morning for my regular weekly appointment and the Doctor measured the outside of my belly and then with a concerned look, he looked at my chart. Then he measured again. Then he said "Where is Ryan" I said he is in the parking lot waiting with the kids so I can take the kids home and he can go to work. He said "We are going to have the baby, right now. Please make arrangements for your boys and hurry over there". Just as Ryan walked in, I was crying and me sweet Doctor who was trying to help me stay calm put his arm around Ryan and explained that we needed o go have this baby now. My stomach had been shrinking. In one weeks time it had shrunk nearly 2.5 cm. And with the weakness in movement and such, it was safer at this point to deal with immature lungs out side the womb.

When my water broke, he would not drop. And with every contraction his heartrate would drop. Because I had bleed so severly with Tyler, and my blood is so thin when I am pregnant, we were trying to avoid a C-section. I sat and stared at the monitor for about 3 hours watching the heart rate fluctuate. The nurse turned me to my side to see if moving me around would help him drop down a little. I turned over and continued watching the monitor. The nurse left the room and within seconds I heard the heart rate dropping I was watching the monitor, my Mom, Ryan's Mom and Ryan were in the room. Conversation stopped and we all watched. 130, 120, 110, 100, 80, 60...then nothing. No heartbeat. I started yelling for Ryan to do something and all of a sudden a team of nurses ran in flipped me back to my back, but oxygen on me and the Doctor came in. Apparently the cord was tangled up all around him, and withut the buoyency of the water, when I turned to my side, we were basically hanging him (terrible I know). So the Doctor came in and said that he was heading in for an emergency c-section, but while he was doing it, they would put fluid back in my uterus, to buoy him back up, and I would be prepped for a c-section. He was hoping that putting more fluid in there would help me to progress a little more, he said he would giveit the old "college try" while I was waiting for a C-section. He said a prayer with us and promised he would be right back. Calvin's heart rate went back up and I started dialating further. The nurse came in to check me and I was still a 4, where I had been for hours. When she left the room I my Mom and Ryan thatshe moved one of my many devices and it was really uncomfortable. It was hurting, I said to them that I knew it wasn't possible, but I felt like I needed to push. Bad. I called the nurse back in and told her that was what I was feeling and she laughed at me, as she lifted the sheet to check out with tube was bugging me, she said, "close your legs, don't push until the Dr. gets in here!" It was time, I went from 4 to 10 after HOURS in literally 3 minutes.

I was pushing and had my eyes closed, when I opened my eyes I looked at the Doctor and he was completely covered in blood, I looked at my Mom, and she had also been splattered. I looked around the room and it look like a kethup bottle had exploded. Calvin's cord broke. The Dr. said that as soon as he began moving the cord, was so dry and brittle that it just broke. What happened was it was wrapped so tightly around his neck twice and his chest twice, that nothing had been getting through it. The judged, by the dryness of the cord that nothing had travelled through it for about a week or two, whch was why he was shrinking. When it broke, the end that was nearest the placenta was like a kinked hose, and so it had much buildup that needed to get out. Ryan said it looked like a cartoon, when the hose is on and it is flying all over the place. they pulled him out and took him away. The nurse showed me how his skin was just hanging off his body, which is often a sign of significant weight loss in the womd. He weighed in at under 7 pounds, 2 ounds less then the earlier ultrasounds at measured.

They expected things to be wrong as a result of no nutrents getting to him those last 2 weeks. hearing loss and blindness, and poor circulation were the biggest concerns. He had really bad bruising around his neck and chest where the cord had been. His first APGAR was 2, and they said they were being "kind with that number because he was fighting so hard". One hour later, everything checked out great and his APGAR was way up.

We felt very strongly the presence, and assistance, of Ryan's Grandma, who died 2 days before Calvin was born. We know she kept him safe during the whole experience. In fact, waiting and watching for those 2 weeks before we delivered was necessary, because Ryan's Grandma needed to pass first, so she could help Calvin.

I recieved flowers from a kind Doctor in the lab of the hospital that afternoon, he and a nurse brought them in and said they were so sorry. I panicked because I didn't know why they were there and Calvin was in the nursery getting checked out some more and so I thought maybe something had happened to him in there. Turned out when the Doctor was doing whatever they do to the placenta, he thought from the looks of the cord and placenta that he was still born. He said he had never seen a cord like that come from a living baby.

He was a fighter then and he is a fighter now. He is a special kid with the BEST sense of humor. He is so much fun. He is the middle child and it shows, he always feels like he needs to prove himself... fight harder, work harder, play better, be smarter, be the funniest. He is a sweet kid.

When we celebrate his birthday I am reminded of the precious gift my children are. How lucky I am to be a Mother.... and a Mother to FIVE kids? It's the best.

Today he introduced himself to someone as Doobies, I said "Hey, Doobs? When you turn 15 can I still call you Doobies?" He said "You better Mom, cuz that's my name!".

I love the Doobs.

Made for T.V.?

2006-08-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

Before I begin my rant, I just want to say I am sorry. I know my background is a bit blinding. If Ryan ever has a moment, I am going to have him fade it down a bit and clean it all up and stuff, but until then, sorry. And yes that is me, some one asked if that was me, and I don't always look fabulous, but I don't always look like that, and I only wear my straightjacket when I am going somewhere special... and with just the right shoes and clutch...

So, I have mentioned before about how I watch soap operas. General Hospital to be exact. In my defense, I rarely sit and watch, it is more like background noise, but it is there nonetheless. An embarrassing quality about myself, I can admit, but we all have them. Right?

So here is the thing. I mean, ONE of the things. There are a lot of silly things about Soaps, like that they are called "soaps", but here is the thing that really gets me, this week. So on General Hospital, and all soaps, it is a general rule that even when one dies, you can't count them out. For the only thing certain in Soaps is that death is not certain in Soap Opera Land. On General Hospital, people drive cars off the side of a mountain or get a monkey virus plague from the Markum Islands or they get shot... TWICE... IN THE HEAD and just have a little temporary memory loss or they get possessed by demons or they drink vial's of fatal poison, but they never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever die. Ever. Well, I take that back, they die, but just for a minute. And the other thing is it all happens in like 2 episodes. Someone has a baby and by the next Friday, the baby is pregnant and the father of her baby is her stepbrother. Wha? Or Someone takes vicodin (mmmm..... vicodin....) on Monday and by Friday they are FULL ON addicts taking 40 pills a day and sleeping with teenage girls for their "fix". But here is the kicker for me, they tackle issues like demon possession, the mob, monkey virus plagues, you know real issues. Then the next thing you know they are wasting their time with stuff like "bi-polar disorder" and "cancer". Why bother. I mean, someone can get chopped up and burned and still come back from the dead so what's a little cancer scare? I mean they can just magically make it disappear right? Or if they die they can just come back later. I don't mean to make light of serious things (like bi-polar or cancer), but if you are gonna mess around with all the other garbage, just leave the real stuff out, ya know? Plus, they find out they have cancer and by Friday their "fatal, spread to far" cancer is miraculously cured. They have the guy who doesn't have bi-polar but he just plays a guy with bi-polar on t.v. come on at the end of the show doing a public service announcement saying "If you or someone you know is suffering from this or this or that or this, contact them or them or these guys..." But what if my friend is in the mob??? Or has a monkey he brought home from the Markum Islands and he has suddenly fallen ill? Where is my PSA then? Who do I turn to when my husband get possessed by a demon if a soap opera actor hasn't told me who I should call if me or "Someone I know is suffering from 360 head spins or green projectile vomit and a creepy voice with red eyes"??? What then???

And I am sure there is a reason they are called soap operas, but what is that reason? And who stamped the approval on that one?

I'm just saying...

Why don't I listen???

2006-08-15T20:55:00.000-07:00

When I took my house off the market last march, I decided it would be necessary to make some changes in my house so it felt... different. So I thought, paint, of course would be cheap and make things seem different.

So I didn't do anything. For a long time. I just sat and talked about what changes I wanted to make in my house. Ideally I would burn my gypsy neighbors house down, that would make my house and my life in this house... uh... different. But that wasn't exactly a feasible option... or was it???

Well, so this summer, I had one goal (beside the standard goal of surviving it). Painting my kitchen. Not just the walls. Oh no, no. The cabinets. So at the beginning of the summer, I painted a door. One cabinet door. Just to see if I liked it before I jacked up my whole perfectly fine kitchen cabinets. Then I sat, all summer, with one door painted. It looked great, except the rest of the kitchen was still oak. Pooh.

Lena, over at the Cheeky Lotus, painted her cabinets, to help sell her house. Even after she told me what a wonderful experience painting her cabinets was I still thought it seemed like a good idea. Yeah, real good idea. Everyone told me it was soooooo much work. I ignored. Everything I read said py someone... I didn't.

So far it looks really good. So far. Really that is a poor choice of words... so far. Because I am not far at all. It looks like I don't have all that much left, but if you knew the work that went into handpainting cabinet after cabinet, coat after coat, you would know just how much work I have ahead of me.

But, on the positive side, and there actually is one... I LOVE what is done so far. I went back and forth and around and around trying to decide what color to do, all black (which would have been my first choice but thought not everyone would love a black kitchen, and I do hope to sell this place someday) or all white, which was more classic and easier to resale. So I compromised...with myself... I did my island black and distressed it and am doing the rest white. I am going to distress the white too, if I ever finish painting them.

So enjoy the "half way there" pictures. I do think all the work is worth it. I think. Maybe. I will post pics again when the kitchen is complete... so maybe next summer.

(Imagine it with my really cool drawer pulls and knobs put on... and curtains... and new plant shelf crap... I have a loooooong way to go...)

Please ignore my messy cabinets, I have never claimed to have anything organized...

And, my microwave looks like it isn't as white in the pictures, but it is... I think... or it needs to be clean. Cleaner. In real life they look, uh, the same color. The pics don't make it look great. I thought it would be too much white, but the curtains are white and black with red tie backs and there will be lots of red accents, and a little buttery yellow because that is an accent color Ryan can dig.

Oh, Doobies

2006-08-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

We were at McDonald's recently with my sister and her kids. Calvin looked in front of him and saw his "Happy Meal".

He saw :

chicken nuggets
french fries
orange soda

He looked at his cousin Carter's food and and he saw:

chicken nuggets
apples
milk

He sat there for a minute staring at his food and then staring at Carter's food. Back and forth, back and forth. I noticed and said "Doobs, is everything okay? Is your food okay?" He looked a little disgusted, like maybe I placed pooh in front of him.

This was the response I got:

"Uh, apples and milk? Shoot Mom, that's not very happy."

Come On, Moms, I know you do it too...

2006-08-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

As a child I remember things my Mom always did, and she probably wouldn't have even known she ever did them, until I teased her about them.

She pointed when she was super-mad
She said "hum, well" before and after everything she said
She threatened us with "When Dad gets home..." but he wasn't nearly as scary as she was
She hit the steering wheel while she drove, like it was a shiny new drum set, to the beat of the music. I'm not talking tapping, I mean beating
She tells you the same story a few times, a trait she inherited from her mom, which means I will probably also receive this one, in fact I think I already have
She said "bitch" all the time because it "wasn't a swear word", I quickly learned in school that it was indeed a swear word. She said it is a "personality trait" like being snotty. And it was only a swear word if we called someone one... but we could totally describe someone as being "bitchy". She will still defend this one. Which is fine, it makes her a little cooler in my book.

She did stuff that I remember clear as day. I think I remember them so well because I saw her do all of those things yesterday... well maybe not yesterday, but she does them all the time still. And it seems to have gotten cuter with age. My Mom is cute, ask anybody.

Anyway, I realized I have something. Something that I know my kids are making fun of behind my back, and if they aren't, well, someday they will.

When I am on the phone I am happy and chipper. I am saying "Really? No Way! That is so awesome! I am so glad", hopefully I don't really sound like that but you get what I mean. Anyway, I am in the middle of talking and/or listening and one of my kids is undoubtedly acting the fool. So while I am talking and/or listening cheerfully, I am pointing my finger and mouthing "you better stop that right now" or something along those lines. I figure the more aggressively I point my finger, and maybe the more directions in which I point, the more mad I seem. I also think that if I contort my face just a little more I will get my point across. It gets ugly. Pretty soon I am not saying actual words, just moving my mouth in all sorts of directions. My face turns red. My breathing gets heavier. This goes on for a moment. Then said child looks at me... really confused... and starts making faces back, shrugging shoulders, hands up looking a little confused and the words, "wha? ... what are you saying? ... I don't know what you're saying ... what's going on here? ... I see your mad but your not yelling ... ". My face gets uglier and uglier and my finger is about to point itself right off my hand and I get an "Ooooohhhhh, you mean this" look.

Another one, that I am aware of, is I say "freakin' crap" when I am at the end of my rope and have nothing to say or do. So after I get mad at a child "Ethan, why would you dump ketchup all over the floor? Freakin' crap!" Or, "Tyler, why are you having a tantrum about your imaginary friend not being nice? It's your imagination!" As I walk away he gets a quiet little "freakin' crap". Or, "Calvin, you cannot pee on your sister! Freakin' Crap!" Or "Sunny, _________(insert anything a child has done or might ever do here...and top it off with...) Freakin' crap!!!" Well, it is a dumb thing to say. It sounds dumb. It doesn't even make sense, I know. But I need something to blurt out. Well, the other day Calvin and Sunny were playing house and Sunny was Mom. I have always worried about this day coming because when your daughter plays "MOM" she only has one lady she is copying, so if she is a bad mommy, well, way to go mom. So she gets mad at her "kid" Calvin and she pointed her finger and said "Uuuugggghhh, freakin' crap!!!!". All my other kids started laughing, especially Ethan and Tyler. Ryan thought it was good too. When they told me about it, Ethan and Tyler looked at each other and could hardly contain their laughter. As if they had a long-standing inside joke abut how their Mom says "Freakin' crap".

Come on, Ladies. I know you do it. And if you don't, well then, your not human. Really though, the phone thing, you've done it before. Right? Or atleast something. So what is it? What is the thing you do that you know someday your kids will tease you about? Or things, like many of them.

On top of the world...but with the world on my shoulders...

2006-08-02T21:44:00.000-07:00

It was my birthday Saturday (HOORAY!!!). I turned 30. I wasn't sad, I wasn't upset, I wasn't anything but totally excited. I had waited a long time for this. Man, like, about 30 years.

Some people can't wait to be 16 or 18 or 21 or whatever. But me? It has always been 30. I feel like we spend our 20's discovering ourselves. Trying to figure out who we are and what we want. Trying to understand ourselves. And we usually do all this ~~poor~~ broke. But your 30's? You are usually more comfortable with who you are and what you've become. Your more comfortable in your skin. Women in their 30's are more confident, and while women in their 20's are sassy, women in their 30's have earned the right to be sassy. So I was excited. Super excited.

When I woke up Saturday morning I was worried I would be disappointed. Not by the day, things I got, places I would go, because I know Ryan knows he will suffer greatly if he doesn't give me the best day...ever... kidding. But I know he will always do great. I was more worried about how I would feel that day. Worried I would be disappointed. I was a little worried I would wake up and shed a single, sad tear that I was saying GOODBYE to my 20's and joining the 30-something club. But, I am happy to announce it rocked even more than I thought it would.

It went something like this...

I woke up to 5 beautiful kids and an amazing husband singing "Happy Birthday to you (cha, cha, cha)" while delivering breakfast in bed. Complete with sausage (I love) and chocolate milk. While they are walking in, I see, there on the tray a cute little blue bag. I could spot the bag anywhere, I have never had one of my own I had only drooled over them...several times. It said in small black letters TIFFANY & CO. Oh, no you didn't. See, when we were in Park City recently for vacation, I did a ~~little~~ lot of shopping. I saw this purse at the Coach outlet that I loved. I usually buy black or brown purses, I have a few colored clutches, but this purse was different. It was a fun yellow purse. So the outlet price was really good, some might say it is still too much for a purse, but well, then maybe we weren't meant to be friends. Joking. A little. I asked (well begged really) Ryan for it. I struck a deal. How about I get it and it can be my birthday present? Sounds perfect right? It was perfect. I got the purse. Later in the car though, I said, "You know though, I still want something to open that day..." He just smiled and said "Oh, Linsey, of course you do...". Girls are weird that way, huh? For like, the whole month before my birthday I am justifying everything with "it could be for my birthday..." We all say it, but we don't really mean it. That is why Ryan calls it "Linsakkah". It started out we celebrated for the week. Then we made it 8 days. Now we are up to about a month, 2 weeks before- 2 weeks after. We go to Sedona (we'll call it "for my birthday") on the 17th and when we get home I suppose we could wrap up the celebration. Perhaps. Or perhaps not. We shall see.

Anyway back to said "little blue bag". I open it up. I just hold the little blue box for a minute before I untie the perfectly tied white ribbon. He got me a classic piece. They have their toggle chains, ya know? Some say return to tiffany's or whatever. Well, he got a toggle necklace, which I love because I can wear it dressy or casual. But here is the really great part. The really "Ryan" part. Ryan buys beautiful jewelry, he has great taste. But he never buys it just because it's beautiful. It always has deeper meaning. So this necklace is from the "ATLAS Collection". He said "I thought it was really cool looking, beautiful and feminine, but also a little masculine, not so frilly and girly. But it is from the ATLAS collection. Atlas is the man who holds up the world, and, well, you hold up our world". How cute is he? I know, I know. The cutest. So since I was looking soooo hot for the breakfast in bed picture (hey atleast I threw a shirt on) I also put a picture of me wearing it. I don't know if you can see it very good, but take it or leave it.

After I ate breakfast, I went out to get my nails done. I got my pedicure with my girlfriend the night before. So I go to the salon... alone... and got my nails done. With my cute new necklace on. Then I went to Target...alone. Then I met my sister for a minute. All the while I drove around listening to KT Tunstall, loud, and feeling really good. Feeling totally good about being 30. I went home and watched a chick flick (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants... cute movie, and I will never be too old for such movies...). Seriously, I was on top of the world all day. All I was missing was my tiara... Sunny wouldn't let me borrow it.

We went out that night. Ryan bought m some new burberry perfume (that came with a cute free bag...I LOVE a free bag) and some new shoes. We went to on of my favorite restaurants Ah-so. And saw Pirates of the Caribbean.

I had a girlfriend spoil me with more jewelry and some fun bath stuff and candles and things. And....drumroll please.... DR PEPPER CHAPSTICK. She really loves me. And while we were out my friend Angela brought over a beautiful bouqet of Gerber Daisy's (my favorite) and Chocolate covered-cream cheese filled Strawberries. She also got me 2 pairs of pajamas. A cute pair and a um, fun cute pair (wink, wink).

All in all it was a fabulous day. I was thoroughly spoiled. I was not disappointed even a little.

And you know what they say about your 30's? Well, all the good stuff anyway... It's true. All of it .

And lastly... I have included a cute little picture I saw this week. I loved it. And thought it was worth sharing....

I'm Sorry, who are you guys?

2006-07-28T16:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to the grocery store, for a much needed and VERY overdue shopping trip. I have almost blown my entire grocery budget on Sonic because I had nothing in my house to eat. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. So I got everything. Corn dogs, chicken nuggets, sandwich meats, tater tots, apples all their favorite lunch foods (we are aiming for healthy family of the year).

So today for lunch I asked everybody what they wanted and they all said, unanimously, "SALAD!!!". I'm sorry, what did you say? "SALAD!!!". Wait, one more time... "SALAD!!!". You get the idea. They were so excited about it too, like they were eating their birthday cake or something. Wha?

So they all had heaping plates of salad. Heaping. Then they had seconds. Ethan even had thirds.

But don't worry, I am still okay, I am drinking Diet Dr. Pepper with Cherry and Vanilla (of course) and eating some pringles. I can't remember, why am I still fat? I mean I drink diet. Alright, alright... I'll go make a little salad.

Stronger Than Your Fear

2006-07-25T10:15:00.001-07:00

Well look who decided to work today. Blogger, how I loathe you, you moody, tempermental piece of junk. I get the time and material to blog, I come here and you let me down time and time again. But today you have surprised me by letting me post. Oh happy day. If I had half a computer brain I would have left ages ago. Ages. But alas, I am not very computer savvy. So here I sit. Tickled pink that I was able to post pictures in my my post about Finn's Birthday, and eager to catch you all up on this crazy train called life.

Last week we had the CRAZIEST thing happen. Seriously, I have been a Mom for a little over 8 years. In that time I have seen some really crazy stuff. I had a 2 year old who walked around on a broken foot for days and I never knew. I have had a child suffer 3rd degree burns on his hand that required "scrubbing off the burned skin" for days and days. I have seen roughly 40 concusions if I had to guess. I have seen fainting, barfing, cuts, blood, bruises (FYI: I do not beat my kids in any way. I don't even spank them when they deserve it, I just have wild animals for children... lest you all start thinking much less of me...) I have seen it all... or so I thought.

We went to Walmart (that was my first mistake, I am a slow learner). Ethan had a big campout to get ready for so we were in a big hurry. We were walking through the dirty parking lot and Tyler and Ethan were walking on the islands and jumping off. He stepped up on an island and stepped on something. Just as he was jumping off the curb of the island, he realized that whatever he had stepped on was still there, stuck in his flip-flop and poking his foot. But it was too late, he had already jumped. So the foreign object was rammed, far, into his foot upon landing. His knees buckled and he fell to the ground screaming. Sometimes Tyler is a little dramatic (which is wierd, I don't know where he gets it...) and so I said "get up Tyler, we are in a big hurry, let's go....I will get it out in the car, come on!" . I was walking ahead of him so I didn't really know what had happened yet. I finally walk over and look at his foot. I knew immediately that he was not being dramatic at all. He had stepped on a toothpick or skewer or something of the sort and it had gone in his foot, far. I said "Holy Crap" and I think I might not have really said "crap", it could have been something else in it's place, but I said something of the sort. I carried him to the car and got all the kids in and when the last door shut, before I got in the car, I panicked just a touch. I had never seen anything like it. And I had never heard anything like Tyler. He was beyond crying, he was screaming in pain. The toothpick had broken, so I only saw a broken end sticking out, but just barely. It was right in the arch of his foot. It looked like, in sewing if you pull a string with a knot in the end really tight it lifts the fabric up and puckers it, that was the only way I could describe it to Ryan. It was stuck in there so good that it had pulled and puckered his skin and I was afraid the skin was gonna give up and just come up over the end of the toothpick. We raced home, and since Tyler was so hysterical, everyone else was too, and I left all the kids in the car while I grabbed the tweezers. The whole way home he was begging me to make it stop hurting and starting to go into shock. Plus I am sure all the screaming was makig him light-headed, or atleast it was making me light headed. So I push on his foot near the port of entry so I can get a good hold with the tweezers, it didn't budge and he starting throwing up. So I knew that was my cue to never touch it again and make a b-line to the ER. I called Ryan who told me "if it is as bad as you say (which in times like these is questionable, I tend to be a little, um, dramatic....to say the least...) then stop trying and go in". I actually called because I mean, do you take kids to the ER for a big sliver?

I took him to the Urgent Care located across from the hospital but part of the hospital, so if I got there and they needed to they could just send us across the street. I dropped Ethan of at my brothers house and Thanked him for getting Ethan off to camp and finally got to the Urgent Care. Tyler was totally hysterical and I could not get him calmed down. I was doing okay keeping my cool, until I called Ryan...again... to tell him we had made it to the urgent care. Ryan said "Okay, well I already left work so I will be there in about 45 minutes...". I totally started crying, I didn't realize how badly I needed him there until he said that he was coming. Thank goodness. Have you ever tried comforting a hysterical child in a quiet waiting room with 3 other LOUD young kids. No fun. I was on the verge of admitting myself to be seen by the doctor because I was about to have a total breakdown, would that have been a good reason for drugs? Hmmmm...... Anyway, they looked worried when they saw it and warned us that if they weren't able to get it out, we would have to go to the hospital to have it surgically removed. They took an X-Ray and put a topical numbing gel on his foot to prep it for a shot of anesthetic. Unfortunately, the toothpick absorbed the gel and it seeped inside his foot and started burning him, so they shot him, FAST and twice with the anesthetic and he finally could relax a little. They had also given him something good, tylenol with codeine or something, I asked if I could have some and they said no for some reason. Wierd huh?

The Doctor came in and with ALL her strength finally pulled the thing from his foot and we all gasped. None of is were expecting (or prepared for) what came out. It was indeed a toothpick and it was BI-IG. Big. It made me throw-up a little in my mouth. The med student helping also looked pretty quesy, she told me later she had seen a lot in her years at med school but that was the first time she got really woozy. In the x-ray they could tell the "object" was big enough that it had tore through his entire muscle and lodged itself in his bone. In. His. Bone. It hurts all over again just thinking of it.

So he is on double doses of Anti-biotics and Ibuprofen. His muscle is begining to heal and he has been able to walk finally. But it is still extremely tender.

We have this thing in our family called "Stronger Than Your Fear". Whenevr we are trying something new or getting hurt or doing something we are afraid of, we say to each other "stronger than your fear" and it has seen our family through a lot. This was no exception. Tyler was tough. When I saw that thing come out of his foot I couldn't believe he had handled himself as well as he did. He had it stuck in there for almost an hour and a half befor he got a shot and he was tough. He was so strong and he kept saying over and over through his tears "stronger than my fear, right mom?". Later that day I made him a t-shirt with that iron-on computer paper that said STRONGER THAN MY FEAR. He has wore it every single day since.

Stinky-Pants Party

2006-07-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

I have a big family. Ryan also has a big family. So when we have a 1st birthday party, like we had last week, we don't invite any of them. Seriously. I learned long ago that a 1st birthday party should be really short, like really short. I also learned that you shouldn't plan anything except him eating a cake (or powdered doughnut in Sunny's case) and parents and/or siblings opening his presents for him while he watches. After the first present is open, no offense to the gift-givers, but he really doesn't care what present comes after the first present because quite frankly, he has already forgotten what he was doing there in the first place. Also, if I invite my family, that is like 50 people and if we invite Ryan's family that is another 35 people and to be honest it stresses me out and makes me sweat. I don't really like it. My house is too little for all those people and Finn, he really doesn't care. To be honest I think it stresses him out and makes him sweat as much as it does me. He is freaked out by the 37 kids trying to "help" him open his presents.

So this year, we had our family (which alone, is plenty of guests) and we invited 2 of our friends and their kids to come. So that added on 3 adults and 4 kids. It was just right. All the kids were very helpful with presents and it wasn't too crazy.

We gave Finn a plastic pool and filled it with playland balls. When I bought it, I was pretty sure it was my worst idea ever. I was sure I would get sick of the balls being all over my house, and kids jumping in and out of the pool. The first night we made a rule (that was kinda obeyed...kinda) that only Finn could get in it the first night. That KILLED the other kids. To see that pool full of colorful balls just screaming their name. I think it hurt them a little to refrain themselves. But we got some GREAT pictures of Finn in the pool and a bunch of little arms reaching into the pool.

We have this tradition that I inherited through marriage that I loathed at first. Where we let the kids plow into their own cake. I don't know why I hated it so much at first. You might think that it is because they get so dirty, covered in icing and high as a kite form all the sugar, but that's not it at all. I actually let my kids get really dirty (during the day when I say "Man, you are diirty!!!" they respond with "dirty means we had a fun day Mom") because we have a tub. I allow my kids to eat treats and I allow them an occasional binge. I think the thing that bugged me is that I didn't want to do someone else's tradition, maybe. Because I do tend to be a little spoiled like that... a little. All my kids have poked at their cake, maybe played a little, but it didn't take Finn long at all to realize it was for eating and he went for it. He dug right in and never came back.

So Happy Birthday Finn!

Now, we can finally start Linsakkuh. Instead of 8 days or whatever it is, celebrating my birthday, we have like a month long celebration. It is a glorious thing. I am turning 30 on Saturday (don't worry, that hardly calls for a gasp! more like a w00t!)!!!

Enjoy some birthday pictures!

***Right now I am saying every swear word I know (under my breath, of course) because stupid, dumb blogger will not upload photos. So after 11 tries I am giving up for now. I will try again later though, I promise, because this post is useless without photos. Arrrgh.... And the funny thing is, that somehow I am frustrated at Ryan (huh?) because he is my computer guy husband and he is working instead of helping me and he hasn't made me a fabulous new dotcom of my own like THIS ONE (imagine that, working...phff...). Even I know how ridiculous that is. I am not really mad at Ryan or anything but I do wish we could come up with some kind of deal, I dunno, maybe he makes me a site and I, well, I suppose this is a private conversation.... Except it will probably end much less dirty, like he makes me a new blog site and I sit down and write a blog instead of whatever my end of the deal was.

The Calm After The Storm

2006-07-19T00:31:00.000-07:00

Let me get a little personal and sentimental and take you back. 1 year from this very moment. I am sitting here at 12:30 a.m. on July 19th (I will regret starting a blog so late in the morning but oh well, right?) feeling a little sad, a little happy, a little guilty, a lot blessed, and clearly, very, very emotional. Very.

One Year ago on July 18th, Ryan and I went to dinner and a movie (Wedding Crashers, maybe? Not important I suppose...) with our friends to kill some time until my 1:00 a.m. appointment to be induced. I called the hospital during dinner to make sure everything was set, and they had no trace of me coming in that night. The Doctor's office booked me at the wrong hospital. I called the Doctor, on his cell phone, FRANTIC because the baby needed to come out pronto. He made some calls and called me back saying I was set, thankfully, but I should have known I was in for a long night. And then a long day. And then another long night.

Let me take you back a little further. About 9 months. Ryan and I bought our Herovan and headed to Oregon to pick it up. I mentioned before that this was where we got a new van and a new baby. An unplanned, unexplained new baby. We are that .1% that gets pregnant with a condom. I also concieved about 4 days after I should have started my very regular period (too much information? maybe so, but I need you to fully understand just how much of a surprise he really was...). Also, it was about 4 weeks until Ryan was due to be "snipped". So the very last possible chance for a baby to slip in there.

I spent the next 9 months an emotional wreck. I really wanted to be done after 4. I really needed to be done after 4. I never planned on having 5 kids and I was certain that emotionally and mentally I could not in any way handle 5 kids. I was spread thin. I didn't want to wear maternity clothes again, I didn't want to be sick, I didn't want to disrupt the structure Ryan and I had worked so hard to create for our family. I also spent those 9 months feeling horribly guilty because I was growing a perfectly healthy baby in my belly and I wasn't excited. While I was pregnant my sister-in-law told us she had been struggling with getting pregnant for a few years. They had been trying and trying and were getting more help, medically, to hopefully get pregnant. That made me feel even worse. So many women in the world trying, desperately to concieve a child and here I was sad to have concieved one. I cried myself to sleep and woke up still crying. I was depressed I was pregnant and I was depressed I was depressed about being pregnant. I worried about never loving the baby. I even had some anger that I had to do it all again. I had just finished having 4 babies within 5 1/2 years and physically my body was maxxed out. I was a mess. I tried so hard to be happy and just accept it but it was very difficult. I doubted myself. I am a spiritual person. I felt so strongly that my family was complete after Sunny but then, against all odds, I get pregnant again and I doubted what I thought was personal revelation. It was a very difficult time, and it was even worse that I knew that it should be a happy time. It was hard that the kids were so excited, it almost made me mad. I waited a bit before I told anyone because I needed to be able to talk about it without breaking down completely. I really worried that I just couldn't do it.

Everyone told me that after some time passed I would begin to get excited but that never came. I just grew more worried and afraid. I felt totally unprepared for a baby, yet I already had 4 of them. I was a pro, right?

My labor was long. Very long. About 20 hours, compared to my typical 7 hour average. Ryan told me recently he was terrified all through labor thinking "Oh my gosh, I am going to have to raise this baby all by myself, she really isn't going to do this" and I was thinking the same thing. I was okay with how long things were taking because I still wasn't ready.

It was the first labor and delivery that Ryan and I were alone for, with the other kids my Mom was there or Ryan's Mom or both. This time I requested that no one be there. I was emotional and I wanted it to be just Ryan and I so I could feel like I could break down a little more if I needed to.

When it was finally time to push I took a deep breath in and thought "ready or not" in the middle of my deep breath, the Doctor and nurses yelled for me to stop, I thought "Stop? I haven't even started!". The Doctor told me to reach down and pull him onto my chest, so I did. With all my other kids, I pulled the baby out, had a quick look and then the baby was whisked away to be checked out. This was the first time that they left him there. At first I asked Ryan to please take him. And he wouldn't. I begged and through his tears he said he would not take him. Then he told me that the baby was so beautiful. I finally looked down and I started to cry, pretty hysterically actually, and like a flood it finally hit me. I needed this baby. I held him tight and said one of my most humble prayers. For 9 months I thought that I was right and the Lord was wrong, that he had made some sort of mistake with this "surprise" pregnancy. Silly me. They left him there on my chest for about 10 minutes. A very crucial 10 minutes, for us to do 9 months worth of bonding... and we did. I held him and cried and knew in that moment that my life had been changed forever. That now my family was complete. I knew right then that I needed that special "surprise" spirit. All the doubts I had for all those months vanished. I had new emotions, gratitude, humility, love. I felt blessed and so happy to have that sweet baby.

I don't feel ashamed of how I felt about the pregnancy. I feel like it was a necessary lesson for me. I needed to know that as much as I think I am, I am not always, in fact hardly ever, in charge. And that the Lord knew that as a wife and a mother, I could indeed handle not only what I already had, but more. I had more faith in myself as a Mom. I learned that sometimes what I think is best, isn't always what is best. Thank goodness the Lord didn't listen to me on this one and went his own direction.

Finley Ryan completed our family one year ago today. I thought having one more baby would make me crazy, when in fact it is that one baby, surprise #5, that keeps me sane. When life is crazy, and it always is, I have my Finn to hold and hug and just know that everything is okay, and if it isn't okay just yet, well, it will be eventually. Ethan has Tyler, Calvin has Sunny, and I have my Finny. I love all my kids, but with Finn, it's different. We have a different bond, he came to me because he knew I needed him. We all did.

Happy Birthday, Finn. I'm so happy you could join us.

Be right back...

2006-07-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

We are home! Home sweet home! I am so glad to be back home, we all are. We had a SUPER vacation but nothing is as good as home.

First up now that I am home... unpacking? Yeah, right. Switching my blog site. I just can't handle blogger.

Second on the list? Find a way to post some fun vacation pictures.

But for now, I am sleeping.... Hopefully for a long time...

Are We There Yet?

2006-07-09T20:41:00.000-07:00

We made it to Utah. I quickly forget how gorgeous it is here... So beautiful. Arizona is pretty, I mean it's a desert, so like, nice looking ~~cactus's~~ ~~cacti~~ ~~cactuses~~ tumbleweeds. Yay? No really, Arizona is pretty though, it's it's own way. And you know what that means when something is pretty in it's own way. It means it's not all that pretty but no one wants to hurt its feelings. But Utah, it isn't just pretty in its own way, it is pretty in ANYONE'S way.

The house is gorgeous, just as I remembered, only prettier.

I have seen lots of family, which has been fun. I visited my Grandpa, which was really great. We left our house to drive here at Midnight on Friday, so we arrived at 10:00 a.m. on Saturday. We did it that way because Finn has been EXTREMELY grumpy in the car lately, so we were ~~hoping~~ praying that the kids would sleep most of the way. I t could either work out beautifully or it could backfire... terribly. Thankfully everyone slept until breakfast in Cedar City, and we were a movie away from our first destination. Ryan and I however, didn't do as well. We woke up Friday morning and didn't sleep again until Saturday night about 10:00 pm. We were exhausted. I couldn't sleep while Ryan drove because I was certain he needed me talking... and talking... and talking. So neither of us slept. At all. We were really tired and we aren't sure how long it will take to catch up, at the rate our life is going... Anyway, Saturday while Ryan and Michelle (babysitter, yahoo!) took the kids to the park while I ate lunch with my Grandpa. I fit right in at his fancy old person resort because I kept falling asleep at lunch... and no one even noticed... Not even my Grandpa because he was sleeping too.

So we are here. I will take pictures tomorrow in the daylight and post them, so you can see this place, because Man, it is something else.

Utah or Bust...

2006-07-05T22:45:00.000-07:00

Man, I am such a slacker. Everytime I blog I think, "I am totally going to blog more often..." Then life kicks in and before I know it a week has gone by. You would think I would be blogging a TON more since I haven't been speaking much. Like, hardly at all. My mouth as been sore. And since I keep it wide open for like 2 hours every other day (for the dentist..seriously..dirty...) my jaw is so sore. The upside is I have spent a lot more time stoned lately, so that's good, right? Root Canals: check. Not bad. Tomorrow I get crowns and junk like that. I just want to have a happy mouth. One that can enjoy ice cold Dr. Pepper (Diet...with cherry and vanilla...mmm, mmm...be right back...) without the cold hurting my teeth and leaving me with a toothache. Is that really too much? Speaking of Dr. Pepper, someone asked how that addiction is going. Now that is one addiction I will stand tall and proud and admit to. I love it. I have kicked the regular and have officially upped the dose of DIET Dr. Pepper with cherry and vanilla. I am now drinking as much Diet as I used to drink of regular. Which is, well...a lot. But it's DIET. And that counts for something right?

I am trying hard to get ready for vacation. Not just any vacation either. But THEE vacation. It is our favorite week of the year. We go to Park City, Utah. I know it doesn't sound like much but it is. The house we stay in is GORGEOUS. For a week we feel fancy and rich. We get a taste of how people who can afford 25 million dollar houses live. And it is pretty. I could get used to the life. The guy who owns it bought two houses just for the land. He flattened 2 houses that were a couple million a piece just because he wanted the view. It is ridiculously huge, something like 8,000 square feet. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck stayed there when they were dating. They did a magazine spread for the movie Gigli at that house. And ya know, important politicians have stayed there and stuff, but WHO CARES, Bennifer stayed there. He had quite a few big names stay there. Jimmy Buffet and his family go often. How do we have such hook-ups you ask? Easy. My Dad was an executive at a company, his boss owns the house. My Dad was ULTRA busy while we were growing up, he did a lot of travelling, but he had fabulous perks. Really nice vacations for our family is one of them. For a brief moment we feel so fancy and stuff that we actually are bringing our babysitter along this year. She is no ordinary babysitter though, she is a part of the family....and yeah, the extra hands will be nice...

So we leave Saturday bright and early, but wait! Don't leave! I PROMISE I am going to blog while I am away. Ryan has to check into work probably every night because he is a workaholic like that (I mean it with love Ryan, I LOVE how much you LOVE your work, really...) and so since Michelle (babysitter) will be there we will sneak away at night and enjoy a treat and some pootie time (seriously, you guys are dirty... "pootie time" is "computer time" it's just that we live with a bunch of little kids so we forget how to talk "adult speak").

So I will talk to you again, maybe once Thursday or Friday while I should be packing, but alas I will instead be procrastinating because I am better at that.

See ya round like a doughnut...

Not so bad...

2006-06-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

I spent all morning at the Dentists' office. I had root canals. Canals...plural. I had TWO of them.

All my life I have been terrified of the very words "root canal". Terrified. I have heard such horrible things about them. So I was prepared for it to be just as miserable as I had heard. Ya know what, it was nothing. Not even the shots hurt. Maybe it is because over the last few weeks I have had REALLY vicious things done in my mouth. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that my teeth that got root canals were hurting SO BAD before the root canals. or maybe it was because I took ***Vicodin right before and after he gave me two more. I think it is likely that was what made it okay.

My jaw hurts like crazy from holding my mouth open for so long. And my gums are sore because of the clamp thing, but overall (okay now this may sound crazy...) I actually had a relaxing morning. I listened to Ryan's iPod, laid back and just relaxed. Good thing it didn't suck, since I have TWO MORE tomorrow.

***Before all of my Blog readers stage an intervention, I do indeed enjoy a little Vicodin, however I need to say that I don't have a prescription-drug-dependency... unfortunately. I don't get my hands on it ~~as often as I'd like~~ often. But I have mentioned it a time or two before and I received a few comments and emails referring me to "seek some help for my problem". And I was told that "there are a lot of people with addictions to prescription pain killers, a lot of young Mothers". Those "people" and "young Mothers" also take a few more than like, 3-4 a week, 3 weeks out of the year. Just a guess, but, my caring readers, I don't think I qualify for an addict just yet. So ease up on the "just worried 'bout ya" comments, I'm just fine. I can only wish I were stoned more often.

Where have you guys been?

2006-06-24T14:39:00.000-07:00

Man I haven't talked to the vast emptiness known as the internet for ages! I haven't, and I have missed it.

A few things:

Blogger Sucks. This is not new to any of you with a blogger account, I know. But I just have to put it out there. It is L.A.M.E. And by lame I mean it is worse than eating donkey pooh. It is really that bad...But let me tell you how I really feel...
WE GOT CHICKEN!!! We did. Chicken. Right out Sunny's butt. And I have so much more to say about that, and as soon as blogger lets me post pictures I will tell my beautifully-grosstastic story. Can you even wait?!?!?! I know, I know, it's gonna be tough, in the meantime take it up with blogger.
Sunny had her quarterly Heart Check-Up. Everything looked FABULOUS. No changes. Everytime the Doctor asks the "Does she tire easily?" question I want nothing more than to say YES, but alas we take healthy heart over a calm, mellow girl. 2 days later, on Father's Day Sunny split her chin open. It required a stich and some glue and a visit to the ER, which she loved. She can't wait to go back. Ask me how... I will tell you later...
I am tired. School's out all 5 kids are home all day. And all 5 kids are bored. It is 8 Million degrees outside so we are confined to our house, that is a little small, all day. If we want to get out of the house we have to find an air-conditioned place that is fun and doesn't break the bank. So we are limited. We have zoo passes we love, we go to the zoo atleast twice a month, except the summer of course, but all summer I have to listen to my kids BEG to go to the zoo. Seriously. Is it not as hot to young kids? Because I suffocate and die walking to my driveway. Granted I have a few extra layers of fat on my body, well, so maybe Finn can relate because I think he is actually fatter than me.
Since I am tired, everytime I try to blog, I fall asleep. And Sunny and Calvin LOVE it because it gives them a chance to call me "Jeff" as in "WAKE UP, JEFF!!!" which they think is the funniest thing they have ever done in their short little life. much to learn they do have, my young Jedi masters...
Calvin wishes he were a toilet. HUH? Yeah, that's what I said too. We were at the movies seeing Nacho Libre (what's that you say? You haven't seen it yet? You really have to...if you like Jack Black, Mike White, Jared Hess or Anything funny...) and it was good...really good... Ryan took Calvin to the bathroom after and Cal was trying to find how to flush. Ryan said "Doobs, it flushes all by itself, you don't have to flush it" and Doobs said "Man, that's awesome...I wish I was a toilet". So we have Tyler who wants to be a bear or a dollar and Calvin wants to be a toilet. Maybe instead of a Yukon XL we should have gotten a short yellow bus...
I have been writing often. Just not to blogger. I am making an attempt at writing a book. I have always wanted to and it is quite therapeutic so I decided to give it a try.

And in other sad, very sad news.... My purse broke. The strap is tearing. I am not sure what it is about this particular purse that I love so much, but I have a deep undying love for it. I got it at Target actually, it is a cool hobo bohemian style and I loved it the second I saw it. And then I noticed it was a mere $6.48!!! WHAT??? I should have bought 3. Ryan LOATHES it. He thinks it's ugly. I, however, will mourn the loss. And nothing will make me feel better like shopping for its replacement. WAHOO!!!

What? Is that a Joke???

2006-06-15T17:51:00.000-07:00

Tyler has a favorite new joke...

When is a PILLOW like a rootbeer float???

Wait for it........

When it has a head.

Wait, wait, wait...What?

From what I hear Tyler is a huge hit as a stand-up comic.... In Tyler-Land.

Roughing It...

2006-06-12T09:44:00.000-07:00

I spent Thursday at the dreaded dentist. Well, the periodontist. My teeth are jacked. So jacked. So I gave the periodontist a lot of money and he gave me lots of drugs. So, I think it is a fair trade. Ryan took all the kids except Finn camping so I could go home after my appointment and get ~~stoned~~ rest. My fabulous friend, Angela, offered to take Finn while I went to my appointment. To be honest, I think she uses me for my Finn. Sure, she likes me, but it’s Finn she really loves. And to be fair, he is a stinking cute kid, it is difficult to not LOVE him. Anyway, so I come home tired, hurting- yet feeling so good- and a little lonely. I know that I should use the weekend (They left Thursday and plan to come home on Saturday night) to rest and recuperate. Do some things around the house.

I laid in bed Thursday night in my quiet, quiet house. I didn’t know what to do with my self. So in the morning I did what any wife and Mom might ~~not normally~~ do…I woke up, packed and took a drive with my Finn (when I picked him up from Angela, Brooke, her daughter, thanked me for letting them borrow Finn…sweetie…) to Ponderosa Campground just outside of the mildly cooler Payson, Arizona. Um, and by mildly cooler I mean 95° instead of 110°, but I will take it. So I showed up and surprised my kids and husband who was here with his whole family. The kids were excited, Ryan was surprised, to say the least, and I was so happy I decided to do it.

So here I am, really roughing it with my computer and Diet Dr. Pepper with Cherry and vanilla. And yes, I am still stoned…

The Eternal Staring Contest...

2006-06-06T22:36:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned before that my sweet daughter Sunny and I are, well, the EXACT same person? We are both sweet, cute, funny, smart. Wait...that's not what I meant, I mean we are all those things but the ones of which I speak of today are snotty, stubborn, spoiled and strong-minded.

We are potty training. Sunny heard me on the phone telling someone we were potty training and she said "We are not potty training Mom, I am potty training". I asked her to go poop on the potty and she said "I will go poop on the toilet when I want to go poop on the toilet". When I asked her if I could show her how to wipe she said "Mom, I know how to wipe my own butt!" almost as if she had been doing it for years. She is a stinker. The cute part, and there actually is a cute part, is that as she finishes her bratty comment she can hardly keep a straight face because she realizes how ridiculous she sounds. Then she repeats it in a voice mimicking her own voice, making fun of herself for saying such a silly thing laughing at herself. I feel like I would be WAY out of line getting mad at her for acting that way since, well... I am not exactly innocent of making such comments. I have always had a teeny-tiny bit of an attitude. Teeny-tiny. She seriously is me. Just smaller. With cuter thighs.

Sunny and I are in the middle of the eternal staring contest. Always. Everything we do. Who will blink first? Who will be the first to give in? We have both had our share of wins....and losses. Ya wanna know something though... I have been playing longer.

So the potty training. She has been FABULOUS actually. As long as it seems to be her idea she will do anything. I think she's only had 2 accidents. But like any kid, she has trouble figuring out "chickens" (for some reason that I will not ever understand Calvin and Sunny call poop "chicken", think about that next time you go to McDonald's...). She just can't make it happen. She finally pooped on Monday...in her undies. I know she has held it for about as long as possible so today we sat. We sat and we sat and we sat. We stared each other down. No one would cower. Neither of us would be the first to look away, or even blink. We just stared at each other. I was not going to let her go without pooping, she was not going to poop. Someday, when she cares about those frown lines between her eyebrows she will be sorry she made that face at me for so long (and by "so long" I mean 2.5 HOURS. That is how long we sat today. You should have seen the toilet lines on her legs... ouch... I wouldn't have made her stay that long but she was farting the whole time... well, maybe I would have made her stay that long...)

Today's Score (but who's counting?):

Mom: Big Fat Flipping ZERO
Sunny: 1

She did not get that chicken out yet. We have tomorrow though...

At the end of it all though, she is really my best girl. She tells me everyday, "Mom, I am your best girl" and she really truly is. We butt heads, but our similarities are something that make us love each other and understand each other better. Which is a good thing since no one else may ever understand us... She is one cool chick...

So I ask you, which is the Master and which is the Apprentice? Who will stand victorious at the end of this battle?

Place your bets...

Super-Gross... Super-Duper-Gross

2006-05-28T19:29:00.000-07:00

Oh, and don't worry I attached a photo for added gross-ness. Seriously. This is a doozy, grab your throw-up bucket and enjoy the nasty ride (did you guys have a "throw-up bucket growing up? We did, a designated bucket- well, pitcher- that you were lucky enough to carry around, all day when you weren't feelin' quite right...).

If you are still reading, thanks. Glad you could join me. If you are on your way out, well I don't blame you. You, my fallen readers, are smart.

We have lived in our house for 6 years. We have never, ever had much of a bug problem. We rarely spray, and we rarely see any bugs, dead or alive. We hear summer time in Arizona in when it gets bad. All the bugs come in from the heat and try to make new homes, in my home. How dare they, right?

We don't have just any bugs at our house this summer. We have everybody's favorite...the cockroach. Just the name sounds gross and dirty. I tried to spray them once and it was as if I sprayed sugar water all over my floor, they came running and never died. Not even a little. I don't even know, do cockroaches like sugar water? Or is that something I learned from the gigantic alien cockroach in Men In Black? Well, whatever it was, they seemed to like it.

My kids don't like bugs much. Can you blame them? They are gross. So one day Calvin is walking into his room and spots a cockroach. It is belly-up but still shaking his legs all over. Calvin FREAKS, I run to see what the heck is going on and just as Sunny spots him and starts running, she gives him a little nudge, he flips over and makes a run for it. Calvin and Sunny freak- again- and jump and sink their claws into the ceiling and hold on for dear life. I run around looking for a shoe, or anything, to throw at it and out of NOWHERE Finn comes crawling...FAST... and grabs the cockroach and as I am screaming NOOOOOOOOOO and running (in slow motion) toward him, he shoves it in his mouth. What do I do? I panic, if I reach in and get it, there is a good chance I will have to grab a real-life cockroach. How can I save Finn without touching a cockroach? I mean, really is it soooo bad for him to eat? They eat them on Fear Factor all the time? So I do what any good mother would do. I turn him upside down and start shaking (gently, don't worry). It worked. Sorta. Out comes the cockroach. Well half of it. I reached in and there was no sign of the tail end. Just a little leg left in there. Calvin and Sunny were screaming thinking Finn was gonna die. I was worried I was going to vomit. Bad.

Are you still reading? If so, kudos. You are brave and you have a strong stomach. If you do not have a strong stomach but are for some reason still reading, then Stop. Now. Because it gets worse (Gasp!)

So the other night I am in bed. You see where this is headed, don't you? It was late and I was having trouble sleeping. Every light was off. The only light to light up our house that night was my laptop. The one I was using. In my bed. I feel something on my side. I shake it off and use the laptop as light to see if I can find anything. Nothing there. So I go back to work. I see something out of the corner of my eye. That son of a bitch (sorry, mom) is climbing across a cute sleeping Ryan. I SCREAM. A cockroach! A cockroach! Ryan is startled awake not knowing what the heck is going on and I am screaming and now I am the one jumping up and sinking my claws into the ceiling hanging on for dear life. Ryan is half-asleep and searching. He scared the stupid roach, RIGHT UNDER MY BED. How the heck am I supposed to go back to sleep? I can't. I just can't. I continue to look. AND I FIND IT. Ryan throws a shoe and misses about 4 times (he is still a little groggy) and FINALLY gets it. As you can imagine it took a lot of time, and some sleeping pills for me to get ANY sleep that night.

I did a little research. Cockroaches, while they are indeed dirty little pieces of crap, you could have the cleanest house in the universe and you can still have cockroaches. Lest you think I live in horrible filth. I also have children who leave hidden trails of food for pests.

So are you totally grossed out? Were you able to stomach this whole post??? I only threw up a little in my mouth twice while writing it. Make that three times.

Sleep tight tonight, don't let the cockroaches bite....muwahahahahahaha.....

Oh no, you didn't!

2006-05-22T16:00:00.000-07:00

My Grandma and Grandpa used to watch every single episode of General Hospital together. They had SHELVES of videos of recorded episodes that they would sit and watch together. Since my Grandma passed away, my Grandpa still watches. When I die, do you think Ryan will sit and watch American Idol, Survivor or Blow Out? I am not sure that question can be answered for another 30 years, maybe then, only maybe, will I know... It really is sweet though, it is something that keeps him close to his sweet wife until they meet up again.

Recently, I called my Grandpa. I just wanted to fill him in on things in life. I told him something Sunny did and he responded like this:

G-PA: Wow, can you believe Sunny tried to kill Jason?
ME: HUH???!!!
G-PA: It is too bad, they have been so close for so long, but it is only because Jason was watching out for Emily.
ME: (Inner monologue: Oh. My. Heck. Grandpa had a stroke or something...) Grandpa are you okay?

Then it hit me, silly me I was talking about my daughter Sunny and he was talking about Sonny Corinthos. Duh, of course he was!!!

So whenever I am planning on going to Utah to visit, like I did last February I watch General Hospital for a few days to catch up, so there won't be any confusion (on my end) when we sit and talk. So when I watched last February, I got sucked in. I know, just stop, just knowing I watch it is humiliation and punishment enough...seriously...get off my back...

Today when I turned it on, Tyler says "Oh, man are you watching Desperate Housewives"? And I was like, "NO!" and Ethan said, "No Tyler, this is General Hospital. Mom, I thought I told you not to watch this garbage anymore...". Um, Thanks Ethan. Have I mentioned I hate it when my 8 YEAR OLD is right.

He did, in fact , tell me not to watch this "garbage". And he is correct. It is GARBAGE. One day I was watching it and (the kids don't sit in here with me, they go play...promise...stop judging... *blush*) here is how ~~Ryan~~ Ethan responded:

ETHAN: Mom, wow. Your watching this? Wow. I think you might be getting dumber just watching this.

I think he was right. Dangit. But, I am just watching it so when I call my Grandpa this week I can discuss the happenings of Port Charles with him. That's it. Really. I Swear.

Donna Martin Graduates!

2006-05-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. My blog is about my tales as a stay-at-home mom and "general mothering". But I have something really important to talk about today. Like, totally.

I am a 30 year old teeny-bopper. Yeah, it's true. I know, I know, I can hardly believe it myself, but it is the truth. I have 5 kids, one of which is 5 years off from being a teeny-bopper himself, yet here I am stuck as one.

I love teeny-bopper movies (*blush*) like "Teenage Drama Queen" type crap. And I think that the reason my kids like Drake and Josh so much is because, well, I do. I am no fool, I know that kids will like (or learn to) things that their parents put out there for them. I love that my kids love good music, but I also realize that I put "The Doors" or "Pink Floyd" or "Arctic Monkey's" out there for them. They are young, they don't like Winnie the Pooh, because I don't, so they never see it. I am actually SO excited to raise through those teenage-teeny-bopper years. So when I see a movie preview for "She's the Man" I can have an excuse to go see it (I admit, they are dumb movies, yet somehow I cannot stop watching). What about "High School Musical"? Have you seen that one?

Then there is stage 2 of being stuck in teenland. The other movies, the good ones. Like "Bring it on", "Can't Hardly Wait" and the one I am dying to see "Stick It". I know, it's embarrassing. But true. I often would like to think I am stuck in my own personal teenage years, I mean, I was a lot younger when "Bring it on" and "Can't hardly wait" came out, and maybe I just like them now because I liked them then (when I say that they came out when I was younger I mean they came out when I was in my early 20's, I was a young mom...). Maybe. except when a movie like Stick It comes along,not only will I see it, I will pay full movie theatre price to see it (since I am too grown up for the school id discount) and I will actually like it. I watch all those lame MTV shows, too. Like "The Real O.C." or "Sweet 16" or "8th & Ocean" and "Real World". I am probably grown up enough to move past those shows, I just can't. Besides then what would ryan tease me about if I weren't watching shows that were a little too young for me? From my own younger years, I still watch the old 90210 episodes, every day, and I still LOVE them. L.O.V.E. I still sit on Saturdays and watch "Never been kissed" and I will still get giddy, silly and excited and start "woo-hooing" and sighing "awwww" when Michael Vartan comes running down the bleacher stairs at the very...last....second....

Which leads me to a true addiction. WHAT THE HECK!?!?!?! Did they REALLY just KILL MARISSA!?!?!?!?! I mean, really? I don't even like her all that much. But did they really just kill her? Like, this isn't , Days of our Lives, where she will come back to life in 3 weeks. This is Prime Time folks, she is dead. Dead! That is crazy! And it takes some serious balls. I am sure when some network guy suggested it in a meeting everyone gasped and agreed that they couldn't do it! I mean, even Brenda Walsh, who the cast and crew hated so they got rid of, didn't get killed off! She got sent to some fancy hoity-toity life in Paris or something, right? they killed one of the O.C. main original key players. I think I just started liking that show a little better, not because they killed buggy-pants-makes-problems-for herself-because-she-needs-attention Marissa, but because, SERIOUSLY! As I mentioned, that takes serious balls. Serious ones, not Aaron "let's send her to study in Paris" Spelling balls. Real ones.

I am still reeling.....Kidding.... But seriously....balls.....

Mother's Day-Off

2006-05-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

I have a question for all you Mama's... How did you spend your Mother's day? Did you spend it with your children? Showered in hugs and kisses, and school-made cards? Did you eat breakfast in bed? Did you take a long hot shower or bath?

Here is what I do for Mothers Day...

I sleep in. Late. I eat breakfast in bed at about 10:30served fresh with tons of hugs and kisses. I lock myself in my room all alone with my laptop and a couple of chick-flicks and a Diet Dr. Pepper with cherry and vanilla.

I avoid ALL things that allow me to celebrate Mothers Day. No kids, no dirty diapers, no putting kids down for naps, no feeding kids, no cleaning up after them, no laundry, no kids yelling "Mom, come wipe my butt". Isn't it ironic that most Mothers celebrate Mother's Day by NOT being a Mother for a day?

It is important for me though. I sit in that room alone all day and I LOVE it. But I will tell you what. I can't wait until Monday when I GET to go back to those daily tasks. I need that day of to remember how much I LOVE being a Mom. How much I love doing all those things, the diapers, the feeding, the naps, the playing with toys with them, even the diapers.... I love being a Mom.

I love my kids. I love when they come marching in my room in the morning singing Happy Birthday but replacing birthday with "Mother's Day". I love the homemade and schoolmade cards they make me. The flowers planted in styrofoam cups. I love that they love me.

I know that no matter what in life, anything can happen, but I will always be an important part of this family. That there are 5 small people who love me and who I am so lucky to love back.

I am cutting this one short because I have to take advantage of my "Mother's day-off". But I will be back tomorrow with my regularly scheduled blogging. And my regularly scheduled everything else, bums, noses, naps... all of it.

Give me a bum to wipe...tomorrow...

Are you there, God? It's me, Doobies...

2006-05-08T21:03:00.000-07:00

I love when little kids say prayers. Especially my little kids. While they usually don’t make a lot of sense, they are cute. Plus they are at least making an attempt, which I am grateful for.

Ethan has very intelligent, well thought out prayers. He is grateful for “the trees that give us cool shade on a hot day” or his “family he loves and loves him too”.

Tyler prayers include every big word or standard prayer word he has ever heard. He is “so grateful for the beautiful opportunity” or the “amazing temporal blessings of gospel families” or “fields of missionaries and beautiful thankfulness”. They never make sense, but then, neither does Tyler.

Sunny’s prayers are the only time she whispers. You can never hear anything she says except “…..budders (brothers)….moms (plural? Do you have more than one, and I can only assume she is thanking God for me, not asking him to get me away from her!) … daddy…. Budders…. School(?)….spanks (are we thankful for these or begging to keep us safe from them?) ….. married to a cute boy in the temple (oh, good, at least she is praying that God will bless her with a cute boy!) ” .

Calvin’s prayers usually are “please bless we can stay up and watch cartoons…amen”. That is usually all we get from him. He has tried to make a little more of his prayers lately though. This morning at breakfast, I asked Calvin to say a blessing. This was his prayer…

“Hello, Heavenly Father? Are you there? This is Doobies.” Then he sat for about 30 seconds and then said “Hellllllo?” and we waited again. Then he said “Uuuugh….Fine, you better be listening though or your in big trouble….”

I wonder if you recognize Calvin’s problem with authority. No one, not dad or mom or even God, is bigger than him. And even if we are, he is still the boss.

When we were broken down on Wednesday, I asked Calvin if maybe we should say a prayer that the car would start. He offered to say it:

“Please bless the stupid car will stop breaking…please bless we can get to a gas station and get a treat and some Gatorade…and bless stupid is a bad word…”

So right after the prayer, the moody Hero started right up. That night when Ryan came home with a new Yukon, Calvin told Ryan we said a prayer. He said:

“We said a prayer and it worked Dad! It really worked! We just said and prayer and we got a new car!!!”

If he thinks that’s how it works, I wonder how long it will be before he starts praying for a broken toy, or a new toy, or money or something. Won’t he be disappointed?!?!?!

And by the way… LOVING MY CAR!!!! I wouldn’t kick it out of my driveway for being dirty!!!

We don't need another Hero...

2006-05-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

What's that song? Tina Turner, right? I googled it, because google is magically all-knowing, and google showed me some of the lyrics. They went a little something like this:

Chorus: WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HERO

Beginning of 2nd verse: LOOKING FOR SOMETHING WE CAN RELY ON; THERE`S GOTTA BE SOMETHING BETTER OUT THERE

Then Bring it back around to the chorus, we DON'T, I repeat, DO NOT need another Hero.

Hero, as in Herovan. I love the old girl, but as I have mentioned, she is a crapper. A moody, strong-minded van. When she has had enough, she has had enough. Some people say that some pet-owners resemble their pets. In my case, my pet (and by pet I mean the Hero) is morphing into me. She wants her way, she is spoiled, she is moody and when she has had enough, well she is done. And when she has made up her mind that she has had enough, well, there is no changing it.

Monday, my friend Christy and I (plus 3 of my babies and her baby) spent all day at Ikea. Do you know how tiring that is with kids? It is TIRING. On the way home, the Hero died. Dead. Did I mention that I live in Arizona, where it was 100 degrees on Monday. We were in a broken van on the side of the road after a LONG day in 100 degree weather. My brother rescued us. I had the sitter come over so I could sit in my room, alone. I had her stay until Ryan got home. I was drained and emotional and needed the break. I thought that maybe the Hero was having a bad day (she's been having those a lot lately). Maybe she too needed a break. A time out. Just needed to be alone. Maybe she was tired of the kids too. That night Ryan and I went to the van and of course, she started right up. Right up. So we go home, knowing it is time to really do something.

Wednesday, we died again. It was hot. I had the 3 younger babies. I won't bore you with every detail, but it was bad, worse even than Monday's death. The Hero, she is a drama queen. She doesn't just sputter out, she dies a long, horrible death. Over and over and over. I think she is on life 16 out of, like 247.

Wednesday night Ryan took off with his Toyota Tundra and came home, without his Tundra. Instead he had the MOST BEAUTIFUL GMC Yukon XL. I mean, it's pretty. I really love it. leather interior, DVD player and most importantly, it's a dude so he won't be as emotional and moody as the hero. He doesn't have a name yet, we are holding a family counsel soon, though. Hopefully Tyler won't disappoint and he will have a name just as cool as the Hero.

Thursday, when we took the Hero in to the VW dealership to get fixed we stopped to look at some Mazda's. So 4 hours later Ryan came home. With a cool little car. One that won't suck the very life out of him. And out of our bank account. Ryan commute's about 50 miles each way, everyday. So the Tundra was KILLING us. So now he has a cool little commuter car that is fast, so what we save in gas, we will make up for in speeding tickets.

So here's my luck with cars and the 303 (the 303 is the Highway I died on after Ikea). My luck? Not so good. I live in Surprise. It's called that because when the person who named it found the place, she was sorta "in between" places. She was "Surprised" to find things here. Honest. True, albeit stupid, story. It literally sneaks up on you. You leave one area and then poof, all the sudden there is this big, growing, thriving city. There is not an easy way in or out of here so we often take the "303". So does everyone. Including work trucks, semi-trucks...everyone. Well today, I was on my home from the Mazda dealership when all of the sudden I see a pretty good sized rock heading toward me. I yelled and waved my arms around in slow motion. I knew it was coming right for me but there was not a dang thing I could do. So it hit me. Right in my pretty new windshield. Someone will be here first thing tomorrow to replace it. But, seriously. Is it not enough the time I spent in a broken car this week? Now my pretty new windshield has to break too? Was the hero so bad or was it just me all along??? I felt a little like AlfAlfa in The Little Rascals when he says "Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, the clouds open up and God says, 'I Hate You, AlfAlfa'".

I am a spoiled girl. Is it pretentious to show off our new cars? Maybe. But do I care? No. Because I have driven the Queen of the stone age for the last few years, and it is time, like Tina said, to find something to rely on, something better.

We will sell the Hero. Or maybe we will hang onto it for a bit. I am not sure. But if we do sell it, hopefully we will find a family who will love her as much as we do. Maybe we should advertise it as a cure for infertility, "Wanna get pregnant but haven't found the right car? Look no further...". She has been good to us (not counting this week). Plus we got Finn out of the deal.

See ya on the road...

While my Husband is away... (edited Friday morning...)

2006-04-26T23:41:00.000-07:00

I get bored and play.

Tonight Ryan had a boys night. He went to "grab a bite to eat" (I think it is funny how when guys "hang out" they "grab something to eat". They never "go to dinner".) and see the creepy movie Silent Hill (How can I get Sunny's mouth to do that when I need it??? If you didn't click on that Silent Hill link then you have no idea what I am talking about. I wouldn't want her mouth like that ALL the time, just if I had control of when it DID do that. Which, on a day like today, it would've been that way for HOURS! She is a bit of a screamer....). Anyway, he's out and I am home.

I am a hairdresser. I CANNOT keep my hair the same color for too long. Honest. I PHYSICALLY cannot wear my hair the same way for a long time. I get SO bored. So every now and then Ryan goes to a ball game or out of town or to "grab food" anda movie, and I satisfy my wild hair.

So tonight I made some changes. I think I am digging it. I went from brownish-red to blonde. Not TOO light of a blonde. I like it.

But imagine Ryan's surprise when he gets home and climbs into bed...with a blonde... Actually, he probably won't be all that surprised, I change my hair...a lot. A. LOT.

Tomorrow morning, when I am dressed and put a little make-up on, I will take pictures and edit this post to be a little more "show and tell"!!!

BEFORE

AFTER

EDITED: FRIDAY MORNING.... I realize I said I would post pictures yesterday morning, but I didn't evn get our of my pj's let alone fix my hair....Thanks for your patience (~wink~).

And for the record, My sweet husband didn't notice until Thursday morning, then he was like "hey your blonde!"..... No kidding.... And you didn't notice the foils and hair bowls in the sink or the evidence strewn all around the bathroom? What time did you get home anyway?!?! Okay, so the lights were off, I guess that would have made a difference. When Ethan saw me the next morning he squelled...like a girl... he was so excited, I may have mentioned before how much he LOVES blonde hair. Tyler seemed to have mixed feelings...he has a thing about redheads... And Calvin said "Mom, Your hair looks crazy! I like it". Sunny said "Oh my gosh, Mom, your hair looks like a lady", huh? She kept saying all day that I looked like a lady.

Have a good weekend!!!!

I'm gonna turn all King Kong on you...

2006-04-24T22:42:00.000-07:00

Today was a long day... full of mostly funny kids. Today's post is going to be random, but then so is my life....so whatcha gonna do?

I took Calvin, Sunny and Finn to McDonald's for lunch with my sister and her kids. When it was time to leave I told Cal to go get his shoes so we can go... Our conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Get your shoes please, it's time to go!
Cal: Uh, Mom, I am not leaving...
Me: Get your shoes Cal...
Cal: I don't want to leave...
Me: Well, I'm leaving, I hope you'll come with me...
Cal: Uh, Mom, You just made me so mad...you don't even know. Now, I'm gonna turn into King Kong I am SO mad.

Oh, ok Kong. I am about to turn into the jet that shoots you down...you don't even know.

Oh Cal, your punk attitude is something I actually really like about you.

Then later, after a day of poopy blow out diapers and Sunny playing in my make-up and all the normal and exhausting stuff like that, we needed to head out to Fry's for a few groceries. Ryan's new job, while it is a great job gets him home just a little later than he used to. So it means that if there is something I need I often need to run to the store...with all 5 kids..... at 6:30 at night....when the should be heading to bed, so they are extra grumpy. So tonight before we left I sat all the kids down. I told them how I was having a long and rough day. I told them I would need them to be EXTRA good. I mentioned that it was possible I was losing my mind so they really needed to be great for me, Then I asked them all to go wait for me by the door. While they are sitting at the door, I was in the kitchen getting some things ready to go, and I hear my sweet little 8 year old, Ethan, giving all the kids a big pep talk. So I eavesdropped of course! Here is what he said...

Alright guys, you heard Mom. We need to be really good. No crying or whining or asking for things. Now, Mom has already lost a little bit of her mind, and we really can't afford for her to lose any more of her mind because we will never get it back. So be really good, okay guys!?!?!

Um, Thanks Ethan???

We got to the store and On our way in Ethan stopped and said "Mom, wait right here, don't move" and he took of running....into the parking lot. I was about to get REALLY MAD, until I saw a woman in the parking lot. She was struggling with 2 toddlers and a newborn. She had 1 toddler in the seat of the cart, her newborns carseat in the back of the cart and an antsy toddler trying to get away in the parking lot. Did I mention she was also PULLING a SECOND cart full of her groceries. I see Ethan tap her on the shoulder and say something that I can only imagine was something polite and thoughtful...no kidding 8 year olds really can be polite and thoughtful...and then I watch him push her cart full of groceries all the way through the parking lot to her car. He couldn't see over or around the cart and he could barely control it, but he got it to her car safely. I saw the look on her face, a much more relaxed smile and just a really grateful look. I was proud of my little boy when I saw the look on her face. Somehow he has learned how important it is to help a young Mom with a handful of kids. That is something he gets from is Dad. Always so aware of everything and everyone around him, knowing when and where help is needed and giving it.

At the end of our trip, we went back to the car where a man was waiting for someone in the store in the car next to ours. He was in a beat up, old Ford Explorer. He very rudely told me to "keep my (insert swear word here) kids away from his car". As we were loading into the car he yelled at me again for "My ANIMALS to stay away from his car". What? Did you, a grown man, just call my kids animals? Obviously he had no kids, because any one WITH kids would appreciate how good my kids were actually being. I would have punched him in the mouth except that the next time I make Cal mad and he turns all King Kong on me, it is likely he would then punch me in the mouth.

I love my kids. They are fun and funny. Sweet and kind. They are really good kids. Great kids actually. So what if they are animals, I can call them that...they're my kids! I really am the luckiest Mom in the world. Or as Calvin told me today "Mom, you are so lucky you are on that big tall building with me...". Wait, what? I don't know what that means either, but I think it meant that even though I make him mad, and he turns into King Kong, for now, I am Ann, up on that building with him, his friend... trying to keep him safe. Hey, he is 3, I will take it and interpret it however I want!!!

Every now and then, I finish my blog and I need to go hug my kids...a big bear hug... See ya round.... Tonight, I got 5 kids to go hug. Again.

Dreamz with a Z...

2006-04-22T13:43:00.000-07:00

Last night Ryan and I went to a wedding. I forgot how not fun weddings are. I am okay with receptions, but the ceremony....eh, take it or leave it... But then, I am all about a good party!

Since we had a sitter, we met up with some friends after the wedding and reception and saw a movie. We saw American Dreamz. The tag line is "Imagine a country where more people vote for a pop idol than their next President". The tag line alone was enough for me to know I needed to see it. It was FABULOUS!!! I was a little worried that they would run out of good jokes, or that there would be some funny parts, but overall just okay. Not so. All the way through was excellent.

Here were some high points:

The Cast. It was perfectly cast. Hugh Grant, always good. Dennis Quaid, can't go wrong...ever. Mandy Moore was even great. Chris Klein, Willem Dafoe, Seth Meyers...All so right. The parts each of them played was really good and very clever.
Dennis Quaid was THE BEST spoof on President Bush I have ever seen.
The storyline was genius. They made fun of everyone, from Bo Bice to President Bush and everyone in between. No one got left out. NO. ONE.

Whoever thought of this was brilliant. I have not laughed so hard at a movie in a really long time. Really. Long. Time.

In the previews was "Talladega Nights" which I CANNOT wait for. Give me more Will Ferrell, because I SO cannot get enough of him.

Tonight we are going to the Broadway show, "DAMN YANKEES". I am really excited, but afterwards, since again we have a sitter, I think I will hit Ryan up for some "Thank you for not smoking". I have been dying to see that one. I will let you know.

Anyway....Go out and see it. Now.

Say YES to drugs...

2006-04-20T20:46:00.000-07:00

What's that you say? It is supposed to be "say NO to drugs"? No, you're wrong silly, it's yes. It is always yes.

Before you read this, I would like to say, cancel all interventions. I am not an addicted junkie. I rarely actually have drugs. I get through the day just fine without them, and if I take them, I feel just fine coming off of them. Not a junkie. I don't have a problem....yet...

I do however like them. I like the brief moment of feelin' allllllllllright. but this blog entry, is not about how drugs make me feel, or why and what I like about them, or how I like them or anything. More like, what they do to me.

We have all been drugged. If you are reading this saying, "nope, not me, I have never been drugged" that's not true, you just don't remember it (~wink,wink~). And if, seriously, you never have...well then "accidentally" cut your finger off or something so you require drugs, surgery and more drugs.

I like when they start the drugs and you don't know they started them, you just start to relax a little and the Doctor and your husband start saying "Oh, those drugs are kicking in!". Then in your half-drugged state of mind you are thinking "Did I say something silly? Don't say anything stupid!". But you already did say something silly, and you will say many more silly things.

What got me thinking was something that happened the other day. Ethan and Tyler needed some junk done at the dentist. Fillings, a few teeth pulled. The dentist had them do some nitrous gas before to help them relax. Tyler was first. I was really excited to see Tyler a little high because he is so silly and random. He didn't disappoint. He started telling me how his body was "turning into juice". Then he put his hands behind his head and said "Ahhhh....Dr. Rolfe, this is the life, we should go golfing after all this". Then everytime the dentist asked him how he was doing he said "I Looovvvee camping". He laughed a lot and got very chatty. The dentist had to keep asking him to not answer. Ethan on the other hand just got really grumpy. Instead of laughing gas they gave him snotty gas. I said "how ya doin', Ethan?" he said "Mom, geez, I'm fine!!! Stop asking me that!!!". Alrighty then!

So here are a few of my personal favorite drug-induced conversations. I am chatty anyway, but get some drugs in me and I may NEVER shut-up.

When I got my wisdom teeth pulled, I got put all the way out. w00t! I had just started dating a guy, but it was moving along nicely. I really liked him. Everyone was at work, and he wanted to help, so I had him drive me. When I started to come to, the nurse, assuming for some reason my husband had driven me, said "your husband went to get the car, he will be right back" GASP!!!!! What? Did you say husband??? I asked her how long I had been out. Then, I apparently started asking how long we had been married, where we got married. I started CRYING saying "I don't even remember how he purposed!!!". When my "husband" came in. I hugged him and apologized for forgetting we got married. I apparently talked about it the whole way back to my apartment. Imagine how silly I felt when he told me all about it later. We hadn't even kissed yet. Why hadn't I done that and blamed it on the drugs?!?!

A few months ago I had surgery. Um, preventative surgery. You know, to prevent any more brain loss brought on through pregnancy. Since Finn was conceived, unexpectedly, while using protection, my sweet husband wouldn't come near me out of fear. So apparently, the second I came out of surgery, all I wanted was some hanky-panky. The nurse said "How are you feeling?" I said "Great! Can I have sex?". About 10 people asked me how I was and my response was the same for each of them "Great! Where's my husband? I'd like to have sex now!".

For the record, I have never used any drugs besides prescription drugs. who needs illegal ones when the legal ones are so right.

What have you said or done while under the influence?

Everybody lets get stoned!!!

Are you calling me weird?

2006-04-19T17:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, I don't usually dig meme's. At all. All the questions and stuff. Not usually my thing. But this one, well I think I can handle it. Maine Mom tagged me, and I am glad....glad to know I am not the only "weird" one.

So this one is good.... I get to tell you things about me that I think are weird. Which, most things about me....well....they are weird. But first, a disclaimer. You cannot like me any less because you find things out about me that may seem "weird". Deal? Or no deal?

WEIRD FACT #1: I LOVE reality T.V. That is no secret. I really love American Idol (Go Taylor!). But here's the clincher... I love Simon Cowell. I developed a mild crush on him season 1. It has grown, like a weed, since season one. How embarrassing is that? I love when he is mean. He has even made a few special appearances in a dream (gasp!) but nothing dirty....ish... I also have a weird crush on Kevin Spacey. What? I know, that's weird. Other than that my crushes are all normal, healthy and fantastic.

WEIRD FACT #2: Um... I run as fast as possible up stairs because I think it is highly possible someone is following me. Zoikes, not following, but chasing. Also, when it is late and dark, I take a running leap from the door to my bedroom, to my bed. Why, you ask? Well, so the scary guy hiding under my bed can't grab my ankles, of course!

WEIRD FACT #3: I still need to be tucked in....awwwww...... Stop. It's true. I lay, flat on my back with my arms at my side and make Ryan spread the blankets in top of me. Stop it. Don't make fun. I can't believe I just told you that. I don't make him tell me a story, in case you were wondering...

WEIRD FACT #4: I talk to myself. Usually in the car. Sometimes I make up stories, sometimes I act out scenes from a favorite t.v. show or movie, sometimes I cry just to see if I can. Hey, I'm a cool chick, I am fun to talk to, I have a lot in common with myself, I can hold my own in a conversation (times 2). Who else am I gonna talk to? I also sing (loud) and dance (crazy). If I notice someone watching, I don't turn away embarrassed, oh no, not I!!! I turn it up a notch. Fo' sho'.

WIERD FACT #5: At the very most, I only wash my hair once a week. Is that wierd? Or just plain gross? I have very curly hair, and there is no in between for my hair. Either I blow it out straight or it is a curly, frizzy nasty mess. I do have a dry powder shampoo that I use, so I am not dirty. And just because I skip on washing my hair doesn't mean I skip out on a shower. I do indeed shower, I just try my best to not get my hair wet. This isn't a bad, dirty habit... just a lzy habit. I don't want to blow out my hair daily. So dry powder for me.

So, this meme seems to be sending me downhill...fast.... What's next? Do I tell about my mad, crazy burping skills? Do I tell about my paranoia of sweat or feet??? What ever shall I tell?

WEIRD FACT #6: I cannot handle railings. I am NOT an OCD person...at all... seriously. But I cannot handle them. Anywhere that a railing is, I don't like. Ick...especially escalators. Can you even begin to imagine how dirty they are? People who just picked their nose, wiped their butt or scratched themselves. Who KNOWS where they put their hands without washing them. I am not usually a germiphob person, I swear.... but railings? No thanks, I would sooner fall.

So that is me...Wanna learn something weird about the following people? Click on them and check out all my freaky- friends (hey, come on now...don't feel bad I called you freaky...what normal person is gonna be friends with me?)...And your name is on the list but you don't wanna play? It's cool... I will left with my own imagination thinking what kind of weird things are you hiding anyway (wink,wink)???

Mandy
Angela
Alyssa
Jane
Sheri
Anybody else who hasn't already done this one???

Tylerisms

2006-04-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

Tyler is a catch-phrase kid. Do you have one of those? He has a new one about once a month. The kid is TOTALLY random. Totally.

Here are some of my favorite "Tylerisms" and the context HE uses them in:

Why must the good die young? It is important that you say this one VERY dramatically with your hands thrown up into the air. Say it after someone asks you to do something (ex. ME: Tyler will you put your shoes away? TYLER: Oooohhhhh, Why must the good die young?) Or after you skin your knee. Things like that. This one lasted about 6 weeks.
I'm peeing in the shower! This one was a favorite of mine. He thankfully NEVER said it when he was actually in the shower. He said it after most jokes. If he told a joke, and it fell a little flat he would follow it up with "I'm peeing in the shower". Or when you look at Tyler he says "What is everybody staring at? I would say nothing and he would say....Well, I'm peeing in the shower! I think it was his way of getting out of semi-uncomfortable situations....because saying I'm peeing in the shower during an uncomfortable moment makes a lot of sense...?!?
I heard that! This one is no big deal, right? I mean lots of people say that. But here is how Tyler uses it. If you are having a conversation WITH Tyler, like you are actually sitting and talking directly with him, and he inevitably will say something very random and silly, and I will say, Tyler you are a goofball, and he will say "Hey, I heard that!!!" Of course you did, silly! I said it right to you!
I don't know how! This one is one of his favorites. Anytime we would ask him anything he would respond with "I don't know how!". You have to say this one REALLY whiney and annoying. Tyler, put your shoes away... I don't know how!!!! Tyler, go potty....I don't know how!!! Tyler, Can you hand me that?.....I don't know how!!!! Tyler, quit picking your nose...I don't know how!!!!
Easy Come, Easy go!!! This is the current catch-phrase. It has been going on for a couple of weeks. Here is how I heard it the first time.... Tyler was going to the bathroom. I was walking through the hall and saw him peeking in the toilet, he was, um, checking out his dookie. I kept peeking to see why. Tyler looked in the toilet and shrugged his shoulders and said "easy come, easy go!". Sometimes if he burps, he says it. When he drops something or throws something away he says it. And he always says it while shrugging his shoulders.

Tyler also pronounces just about everything wrong:

flushies- slushies
adalin- Anakin
mistroy- destroy
darf serious- Darth Sidius
darf nader- Darth Vader

I know there are a hundred more of those I am forgetting.

Like I said, most everything he says is a random catch-phrase. Even if it isn't a catch phrase, it is still random. What can I expect from the kid who wants to be ~~a bear~~ ~~a dollar~~ ~~an ice cream man~~ a builder when he grows up.

Tyler is carefree and a breath of fresh air. Crazy catch-phrases and mispronunciation and all.

Did you miss me???

2006-04-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

Or did you even notice I was gone?

I noticed. It actually physically hurt me to not blog. Yes, it hurt...real bad. There are a few good ~~excuses~~ reasons...I swear.

Hear they are:

The Green Straw (if you click on that link you better come back!) Virenda is my kind of girl. She is ~~as obsessed with~~ loves Hollywood and celebrity as much as I do. Sometimes I get so wrapped up reading her blog that I forget to pay any attention to my own blog.
Finley . He sleeps in the room formally known as "my office". yes, he sleeps with my computer. I usually write when all my little people are sleeping. Except, Finn's naps are so valuable, I cannot risk waking him. And at night well, again...not gonna wake him. So being the spoiled girl I am, Ryan got me this...... It is so stinking cute and tiny. I really like it and will no longer be able to use my excuse about "Finn is sleeping" ever, ever again.

Easter. That was a good reason. Holidays are busy up in here. Nevermind the 5 kids, home from school, buying easter outfits, buy Easter basket junk. The thing that keeps us busy is the parties. Both my family and Ryan's family are all here. We all live right near each other. Blessing? yes, yes it is. It is a lot of fun. We love being close by. Curse? Yes, yes it is. On short, quick one day holidays, it is so hard to get to 2 Easter egg hunts, 2 dinners, 2 everything. We did it, but it kicked our butt.
Ryan and I were the speakers at church for Easter Sunday. I think that is enough said...
We are party animals. that is a real reason. Ryan gets home at about 7:30 most nights. And then, let the playing begin. Our evenings usually include, take-out, karaoke, maybe a movie, or a "shout about movies" game, and it usually involves some friends. We get together and think we are young enough to stay up until 2:00 am and still function the next day. Not true. No functioning at all the next day, but we sure have fun.

I cannot wait to hit my reading list, I haven't had a chance to read anyone's blog's, and I am having withdrawls from all of you and your lives. So I am off to play catch -up!

I hope you had a fabulous Easter weekend, and I will see you tomorrow. I swear.

I Heart Finn

2006-04-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

I seriously have cute kids. Seriously. Even when they are smeared in peanut butter, or clogging toilets or worse (and it usually is worse). Anyway, they are cute.

Don't be fooled by my boys' rugged good looks, or Sunny's angelic disposition, they are troublemakers. But down right cute troublemakers.

Our days are so full of madness, that at times I sit and look at sweet little Finley and just think, Man, he is cute. And more importantly he is here in our family, for which I am very grateful. When I look at him and he is just sitting there looking sweet, I am sure that he is scheming and planning in his mind successful trouble and failed trouble. I can hear him "Okay, clogging the toilet could be fun, but Sunny really got it for clogging it with a diaper...note to self: What about a banana? Has that been done?" He is gonna give me the most trouble because he has learned from the trouble-making-masters. And they are teaching him well. I know, I know, it is hard to believe that he could have a troublesome bone in his gigantic, fat body, but it is true, he does. And they are just waiting for a prime moment to show themselves. And they will. Because he is my child.

Anyway, enjoy my Finn. I sure do...Handsome little monkey...

If I were Ryan...

2006-04-04T20:26:00.000-07:00

Many days Ryan calls on his way home from work, to let me know he is on his way home. He asks how my day was. And the ever-important question... "Do you need a Dr. Pepper? (that would OBVIOUSLY be a DIET with cherry and vanilla....)". There are a lot of things that can be told from our very brief conversation.

Today I would like to do things a little differently.... Shake things up.... because today was, well, a day. And it needs some shaking. I will write my blog today from a different perspective. Ryan's perspective. I would never claim to know what exactly is happening in his head, because I can admit that it is a little beyond the "normal" for my own head (in my mind: "I like cheese" his mind: "Why does Linsey like cheese, what is the meaning behind this so-called cheese? What is the reason for her like or dislike of cheese?...." of course, he would never really waste his time thinking about cheese, but you get the idea...). So if I were Ryan, this is what I would have thought about my day (although I am using much smaller words and worser grammer....wink,wink)....

On my way home from work today I called Linsey to let her know I was coming. When she answered the phone she sounded like she had ran 2 miles to get to the phone. She was winded and sounded tired, not to mention stressed out. I can always tell how her day as been by how she answers that "on my way home" phone call. Is she cheerful? Mad? Laughing? Crying? Today, she was all of those. Which means she had a crazy day. I hear Finn screaming in the background and every 2 seconds Linsey is saying "Calvin don't do that" or "Sunny, get back here with that!" or "Ethan and Tyler if I have to ask you one more time...". Linsey is trying to tell me something, but I can't make any sense out of what she is saying, I know she is speaking but what is that? Arabic? Japanese? Spanish? She knows I don't speak Spanish!!! Mid sentence though, she says "I gotta go, I will just see you when you get here". I know that something horrible has just happened. I get home and all 5 kids plus 1 Mom is crying. The house is a mess and it smells weird. I quickly learn that the smell is a clogged toilet. A backed-up toilet full of atomic green nuclear waste. What the...? What is that and why did she save it for me? Then I go to pick up a screaming Finn, Linsey says to be careful because he just puked all over himself. Linsey tells me about her day and I was grateful for her and all she does in our home. She does so much for this family. Then I was also grateful for my job. That supports her "had a bad day so I shopped" habit. She had a bad day. Any minute now she will ask me for a treat. I should have known what I was coming home to, when I called with the "on my way home" phone call she said that she would like a treat, either "a bottle of whiskey or a bag of weed" she was joking.....right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So there you have it. Far be it from me to complain (HA!!! Yeah right!) but I did have a crap day. But if you wanna feel sorry for anyone, feel sorry for Ryan, he had to come home to my bad day!

Just a quick plug for my guy, Ryan. Hands down I have the best husband. Not only does he know when I have a bad day. He is the only one who knows how to fix it (not even I know how to fix it!). He knows all the right things to do and say. the right time to hug me and the right time to back off. And trust me, that is not an easy job because it is never the same "cure" twice. I love Ryan because he understands me even when I don't understand me. I heart Ryan.

I Flogged Molly...

2006-03-30T09:04:00.000-07:00

Ryan and I LOVE ST. Patrick's Day. We go to this cool little Irish Pub in downtown Phoenix, we watch people get totally wasted and act like fools. We watch live Irish bands and Irish Step-dancers (Riverdance anyone?) And we usually like to hit a cool concert that night. Last year we saw Cake, this year though we lucked out. We actually got Flogging Molly in Phoenix on St. Patrick's Day. I LOVE Flogging Molly.

I have photo's to prove how cool (lame and too old) we were that night but I cannot get my stupid pictures of my phone (anyone have a razor who can help me, or are you just smarter in general so you might be able to figure it out?). We went all the way up to the front. We had to push the crazy moshpit fools off of us and everything. I can't even tell you how bad I wanted to just jump in for one round. I wanted to crowd surf with the other 15 year olds. I wanted to scream and jump up and down with them (5 babies and no exercise makes that dang near impossible). Screaming, I can do, better than any of them, but the jumping for an hour, not so much. I wanted to lift my shirt and flash my...oh wait...I didn't really want to do that...or did I???

What is it about concerts that makes us (at least Ryan and I) feel so young again? Is it because in our younger pre-babies days we loved concerts and went every chance we got? Is it because the crowds there tend to be so young? Is it because we always want to be what we aren't? What is it that makes that ears-ringing-so-bad-it-hurts-feeling so good? Or how when you come home and smell like sweat-smoke-weed-teenagers, and for that one night, you don't mind smelling that combination on yourself? Whatever it is, I love it.

I seriously can't wait to take my kids to a concert. I can not wait. Our kids love music as much as we do and I know they are going to LOVE concerts. Will we be cool because we are willing to take them to all the shows, even sit a few rows behind them, or will that make us lame? Will they tell their friends "Dude, my Mom and Dad went to the ____________(insert coolest new band here) concert last night and took us with them!" or will it be more like "Dude, my Mom and Dad went to the ___________ concert last night. They made us go with them. It was so embarrassing". When do you reach the critical point of going from being cool because you still go to concerts like Cake, Jack Johnson or Damien Rice to being lame because you still go?

For now, we are not old enough to be lame. Ryan is 31 and I am going to be 30 (poo!) so for now our kids are just jealous we get to go and they don't. Hopefully they will appreciate someday that we love to do fun stuff, and maybe even want to do it with us. Maybe they will choose to go to the concert with us over their friends because we are fun to go with (we paid for the tickets and t-shirts afterall).

Ryan totally can't wait until Sunny wants to go see __________ (insert the current boy band...ex: Backstreet Boys) or ___________(insert current Pop Princess...britney, christina) he called dibs on those concerts long ago.

In the book that is "Ryan and Linsey's Book of What is and isn't cool stuff" we will never be too old to go out and party like rockstars. If we have our way it will sort of be a coming-of-age night in our home. When they reach _____ years of age they have a ritualistic night that consists of new outfit-concert tickets-1 "get into a mosh pit free" ticket-concert t-shirt-concert of their choice. We can kill 2 birds with one stone (why does anyone have to kill any birds though, really???) take them to their first concert and have a quick lesson about drug use. "Smell that? It's weed, smell how strong that smell is? So if you ever smoke it we will know because you will stink". (Hopefully by then we will have had the more in depth "Say No To Drugs" talk) They'll probably say, "Dude, Mom, we smell that everyday at school" and I will sigh and hope I taught them well.

I honestly cannot wait to take them to a concert. But more than that I can't wait to go to another one myself. I do go to the American Idol Tour every year, but that isn't what I mean. I mean, concert-hangover-neck and body pain from dancing too much and too crazy-ears ringing-no voice because you scream too much-concert. When is Arctic Monkeys going on tour?

Have you seen any good shows lately?

Smeng The Learsoon

2006-03-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

Translation: "Smell and sound out the letters to make your words".

Wow, What are teachers teaching these days???

Tyler is nearing the end of his first year of school. He has LOVED Kindergarten. Lately he only speaks phonetically. It goes like this:

Me: Tyler, Would you bring me Finn's carseat?

Tyler: Ya-eh-sss, I kk-aa-nuh. Kuh-a-rrr-s-eh-a-tuh.

Me: Thanks, Ty.

Tyler: Sh, sh-uh-rrr-eh. Muh,muh- aw-muh.

All day long he sits and writes songs or notes and things. He sounds out the words. A few minutes later, he shows me what he wrote. I try to sound it out as best I can then finally ask him what it says. And this is where Schmeng the leersoon comes in.

He brings me a paper saying..... "Smeng the learsoon". I ask what it says and enough time has passed that he can no longer remember what he was trying to write. So he sounds it out and I can tell by the very confused look on his face that he has no idea what he was going for with that one. So he just makes something up... "It means smell and sound out the letters to make the words". Oh, okay, that makes sense.

So Ryan and his partner in comedy/crime, Adam, get a hold of it. Now there is, I believe an ancient, evil Prince who became a God-like being. And because he was so evil, became a demon. A super-evil and powerful demon named Smeng the Learsoon. I believe there is actually a "legend of Smeng the Learsoon" now. Oh, okay. That makes sense too. (?!?)

So maybe I should have said in the beginning not what are teachers teaching these days, but who taught Dad? And what is he teaching the kids?!?! When we talk about Smeng (and sadly, we often do....) Tyler has NOT A CLUE what the heck we are talking about. In fact in his mind he is probably trying to sound out that crazy word, and wondering where we learned such a word. We are just waiting for Tyler to make another go at sounding out, Smeng needs a nemesis.

Done and done.

2006-03-27T08:48:00.000-07:00

So I know all of you are dying to see the "Special Report: Crackdown on Buttcracks" (you perverts....) but I cannot figure out how to get pictures off my new phone. Sure it's a cute phone, but how in the world does the crazy contraption work??? So it is coming, as soon as I learn how to get the pictures from there to here. Because that post is NOTHING without pictures!!!

So we took our house off the market. Done and done. No more intrusive showings, no more keeping it spotless, no more feeling like we can't live here. None of that. But what I get in exchange is grown adult neighbors who smoke so much weed I get high just living next door. I also get Gypsy's. Yay for gypsy's. Let's just say he was much less than thrilled to learn we are staying. It is no secret he hates women, that might be okay for some girls (like his wife/cousin, she seems to be cool with it) but it does not fly with me. Some girls like me may even be able to let men like him roll off their back. So not me. Nothing from him can roll. I asked him one Saturday to get the trailer moved before we had some showings coming. He said "Oh, Sweetie, I'm sorry but if your house isn't selling it isn't because of my trailers, no one cares about those". Oh really? I CARE ABOUT THOSE. The HOA cares about those, the other neighbors care about those. You idiot. Maybe if your mama hadn't married her brother you would be smart enough to know that everyone cares about those. He said "But it's MY PROPERTY" (pointing up and down the whole street). Really, your property? How'd you get so lucky, you rent a house and own the street? Idiot. He says he is gonna buy the house (go ahead I am ready) and put cement on the street where he parks his trailers so no one can complain. I have no words for how much of a moron he is. Who am I kidding, I have words. PLENTY. Ask Ryan, I can't shutup about it.

So it's war. And now that I am staying here, I am ready. I'm ready, I'm ready (I watch to much Spongebob....). Everytime he and I are having it out and my husband comes out, he runs away. Little does he know that Ryan is a kitty cat compared to me (sorry babe, but you are....) it is actually me that he should be afraid of. Buwahahahahahahahahahaha..................................

In other news, we really are staying. And I am really happy about it. I LOVE Surprise. I like the area, the schools, the people, my house. I don't have to leave my friends I love. We are doing a makeover on our house so it is fabulous. I am so excited to do projects. I painted my kitchen table, it was light wood now it is black. I still have a few chairs left to paint. The kids fight like crazy over the black chairs. "You sat there for breakfast....Waaaaaa....your not my friend anymore....." It just shows that kids will fight about ANYTHING. Anyway, in the picture, you will notice the baby food jars and the bottle that is half drunk (drank? drinked? I have no idea...) what I should have done was turn around and taken a picture of the kitchen. My house suffered a little through that project. But my table looks fabulous.

Ya know, we had our house listed since October, the very end of October. We had maybe 6 people come look the entire time. We took our sign out about a week ago, but our realtor was on vacation so we weren't "officially" off. In the last week we have had to tell 16 REALTORS we aren't selling. And 2 people stopped by without calling. WHAT??? Where the heck were all of them the last 5 months?????

So we are staying put. Watch out Gypsy Clan of Surprise. We aren't going anywhere.... (insert evil laugh).....

Party like it's yer burfday...

2006-03-23T10:16:00.000-07:00

That is the song Tyler has been running around singing today. I don't know how he even knows it, but he does and he is belting it.

Today I have another little boy growing up way too fast. Tyler is 6 years old!!!! I can't believe it.

Man oh man, Tyler is one of a kind. Seriously. There is no other like him. I have mentioned before what he hopes to aspire to be someday.... He used to want to be a dollar. Then when he realized that being a "dollar" didn't pay the bills he decided to be a bear. Not much demand for bears either, so he decided on an ice cream man. Still might not be much room for growth in that career, so at his older brothers urging he picked a new goal... A Rockstar. So that is where we are at with him. He says he also might want to dance "funky". And man can he dance funky. He's gotskillz. Mad dancing skillz. If I knew how to upload video to this sight he would make you wet your pants he is so funny to watch.

Tyler was the best baby ever...until he hit 6 months. Then he turned into a beast. He was always screaming. ALWAYS. He weighed almost 50 pounds when he turned 1, and his 50 pound booty didn't walk until he was 22 months. We didn't know what happened to him but something changed in little Tyler that made him really hard. Finally, when he was 2 and a 1/2 we realized he was almost completely deaf. He heard a little in one ear, kinda like the Charlie Brown teacher talking "wah-wah-wah-wah". He got more and more grumpy when he was 2 and wanted so bad to communicate but just couldn't. Somewhere between 6 months and 2 and a 1/2 he blew an ear drum. His ENT said his ears, at all times, felt like "when you are in an airplane or deep under water...well about 20 times worse than that". No wonder he was grumpy. He had surgery and immediately was back to my sweet little Tyler. And in the kindergarten is actually excelling at hearing sounds and sounding them out.

Speaking of ears, Tylers are the best. He has NO CARTILEDGE in his ears. They are totally sweet. We all love to sit and play with them. They are so Tyler.

Tyler is the sweetest and most tender little boy. He cries if his little sister gets in trouble. If Ethan is getting in trouble he tries to take some of the blame so he can take the heat of his brother Ethan. He and Ethan are best friends. I love that they turn down every neighbor kid who comes to play so that they can play together.

Tyler plays a little dumb sometimes because he knows we think he is funny. And he likes speaking jibberish. He ends most sentences with a funny phrase like Hoddy-doo-doo. He has no worries in life, totally carefree, loody-la-la. I watch him in life and think how sweet it would be to just always be so happy, lappy-sappy-saw-la. To just love life as much as my sweet little Tyler, noonie-na-na.

Plus how cool is it that his favorite band is The Doors. Don't believe me? Ask him his favorite song and he'll sing a bunch for you.

Tyler loves everybody and everybody loves Tyler. I hope everyone has someone like Tyler in their life to make things fun and happy. Always happy. And a whole lotta goofy...

Happy Birthday, Shaker-T-Bonicus!!!

Zero to Eight...way too fast...

2006-03-22T10:17:00.000-07:00

Wow. Is it Wednesday already? When did that happen? What happened to Sunday and Monday? Tuesday I remember, since it is my most liberating day, Tuesday does not go overlooked (wink, wink). But what about the rest of the week?!?!?! Wednesday? Already??? That is the general theme in my life these days. So fast. Last Thursday my first baby turned 8. 8 YEARS OLD. I have an 8 year old? When did that happen? What happened to 3 and 5? When did he become such a wise and big little person?

I am freaking out. I can't believe Ethan is 8. He is the best kid. Totally stereotypical first born. He is responsible, helpful, obedient, a pleaser, a bossy-pants and a really fun kid to hang out with. He is just the right balance of over-protective big brother and the big teaser of the family. He teases his siblings like nothing else. He is my brother Cory. Soon he will be pulling down pants and wiping boogers in scary places...oh wait he already does that... But heaven forbid anyone else tried to mess with his siblings, they would suffer serious consequences.

He has a really fun sense of humor. He usually tries to get the adults to laugh rather than the other 8 year olds. He is so fun. We have fun doing silly things together.

And man, is he smart. It's Scary actually. Sometimes (alot of times) too smart for his own good. He always is certain he knows more than everyone. Just ask his 2nd grade teacher, she will tell you. It is almost to a fault sometimes. He is also very observant and aware of the way people around him feel. When September 11th happened, he, Tyler and I were in Utah. In his world there were 2 places, where we were and where Dad was. So he thought that it was happening where Ryan was. We cleared that up for him but he couldn't understand why it was happening. After the first few hours glued to the TV, I realized the effect it was having on my sweet little 3 year old and turned it off. But the damage was done. Everytime we saw pictures of it, on magazines at the grocery store check-out or newspapers, he thought it was happening again. Everytime a plane flew over us he freaked out thinking it was heading for him or for his Dad. He was having headaches and throwing up it was worrying him so bad. We were talking about it a few minutes ago and he said he remembered it well. He said he remembered feeling scared. Then my 8 year old said "Those bad guys did really bad things. They killed all those people. They killed Moms and Dads and stuff. They wanted to kill them, but I think they did it to scare us. It's like they always want us to be afraid. Because I still am afraid of them.". Observant little boy I tell you.

He will take the teasing on the playground when he helps the handicapped kids because he knows it is more important to help them then have friends who tease the kids that help them. Some boys on the playground said to him "Ethan, you must BE a retard if you always want to play with retards"... I asked Ethan how that made him feel, and he said "I don't want to be friends with people like that anyway. Robbie (his friend) doesn't tease people, he likes everybody but nobody likes him. Except for me, I like him." Ethan checked out a book about sign language to learn basic phrases like drink, bathroom, friend and play so that he could communicate with his friend Robbie. He makes me proud everyday. That those are the decisions he makes even when I am not around to encourage him to make those decisions.

Sometimes I feel bad for him because he is so smart he struggles with "imagining" things. He can't pretend he is a power ranger because, DUH, he's not one. It has helped him to have a little brother who struggles with actual reality. Tyler's whole life is imaginary and it helps Ethan pretend.

I love that kid. I love that he likes to hang out with me. I like that he would rather watch "Lord Of The Rings" with me instead of Spongebob. I like that he is so interested in things I do, being a Mom, a wife, a hairdresser, he loves to learn more about me. I am not just a source of food to him.

Plus he issuch a handsome little dude. He has really blonde hair. He prefers long like a "surfer". He used to wear it to his shoulders. And his dimples. He has CRAZY cute dimples.

My little Ethan is all growed up. Once I get over the initial shock, I am really excited about it.

Pink Eye Plague

2006-03-20T23:00:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh.....What a week it has been. Really, what a month is more like it. Oh, internet, how I have missed you....

At one point or another everyone in this house has had the flu. And a cold. A horrible cough. Snot, loads of it. And pink eye. Oh, the pink eye.... Heaven forbid we could all just sorta get sick at once and be done with it. Oh no, that would be too easy. We have to have it in cycles. And then repeat our cycles. It goes something like this....

Ryan
Ethan
Sunny
Finn
Tyler
Calvin
Sunny
Finn
Tyler
Calvin
Finn
Sunny
Ethan
Ryan
Ryan
Ryan
Linsey
Ryan

You get the idea. Each person has cold/flu/pink eye for about 3 days and then it is passed to the next. Over and over and over again....

We have had a good week. I have been enjoying horrible amounts of Dr. Pepper. I know, I know. It is DIET Dr. Pepper though. That means something, right? Okay, so it means nothing. Truth is I feel as though I have substituted my Regular Dr. Pepper addiction with a DIET Dr. Pepper addiction. It is bad news. It is like, I don't know, liquid crack or something. Whatever it is I am hooked, and I love it. Do they have rehab for Dr. Pepper junkies? Maybe I should start a support group. We could get together, hang out drink Dr. Pepper 'til the break of dawn. Oh wait....

I am excited for a new week, tomorrow is Tuesday and some of you know what that means... liberated Tuesdays..... w00t... plus I have so much to blog about it isn't even funny. I haven't had a good heart to heart with my blog in DAYS and so we have much to discuss. So here are just a few things you can expect to hear about in the coming days....

I have an 8 year old. When in the world did that happen?
Said 8 year old (besides being dashingly handsome) is getting baptized and it's freaking me out.
I hate how girls jeans ride low when you sit down. Why must they do that? I was out with my husband this weekend and snapped a few pictures with my camera phone of girls-plummer-cracks (buwaahahahahaha...). The pictures are good, but the stories about getting the pictures are real doozies.
I have had a few, um, incidents with Mr. Gypsy
I LOVE St. Patricks Day. Plus, We partied like Rock Stars...revisited. If you love Flogging Molly raise your hand.
We are not selling our house. Maybe our kids scared away all of the potential buyers. Maybe it was the Gypsies. Maybe it was the Pink Eye. If you want details, you will have to check back around, like next Monday.
And one last thing. We got some super-sweet new Karaoke CD's. Wanna come over and belt a few out?

So life has been, well, a little less than smooth. It has really been a Mad, Mad world this week. But that's good, because it gives me so much more to talk about....

See ya round like a doughnut...

In her defense...

2006-03-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

I posted recently about my Herovan. I feel horribly guilty and I need to right my wrong. See, the herovan, she and I have been through a lot. We have a history, the van and I , and I just threw it out the window and stabbed her right in the back. I felt justified though, I felt hurt and betrayed that she had left me stranded and alone. I really, I just thought we were friends, ya know?

So here is our story. A story of love and commitment. A tale of two souls meant to find each other in this big world. Okay so, dramatic, yes. Just trying to make something out of nothing here....

I love my van. L-O-V-E it. We searched high and low for the prefect van. A van inexpensive enough that we could buy it and not have a car payment, but still a good car. Yes, I know the history of Volkswagens. I know they are high maintenance, and repairs are pricey, parts... not cheap, but I could relate to those qualities in a car. I myself am all of those things. But they are so big inside, and so comfortable and so fun. We found a 1993 Eurovan (no, not with a camper) with only 35,000 miles on the internet. It was a shuttle for a dealership. The price was right. So Ryan and I jumped on a plane and flew to Portland, Oregon. We arrived in Oregon, with just enough money to buy the car and get us straight home. We got the car, and headed out of Portland. We stopped for the night about an hour out of Portland. We found a hotel room at the fabulous Comfort Inn. We went to dinner and stopped by the grocery store because we forgot to bring some "protection". We thought we would try a fancy new kind....I wouldn't recommend them. We got back to the hotel and it was business time. Afterward, I thought I would take a relaxing bath. I turned on the water, got undressed and checked the tub. I turned the water a little hotter. Too hot apparently because the handle broke right off. It was steaming hot and we couldn't reach our hand into the water to pull the drain up without burning ourselves. So I call the front desk, she says she'll be right there. I hurry to get dressed, she comes and of course, can't do much. She was willing to burn her hand though to get the plug up. So she said she would page the maintenance guy and he should be here in a couple hours to get the water turned off. Do you know she didn't even offer us another room? She wanted us to sit there, at midnight, letting the water run. Until whenever Mr. Maintenance got there. Well, no thank you. She had NO CLUE who she was dealing with. We got a new room eventually and it was a room with a working tub. And that was the night Finn was conceived. Glorious, huh? Rays of light shone down on us from heaven, angels singing and everything. It was a great night... and by "great" I mean totally stinky. Worst night. What a way to start a fun little road trip alone with Ryan...

We got on the road the next morning with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. More commonly known as "implantation".

We got as far as Valencia, California when the Hero curled up into the fetal position and threw her spoiled, rotten, moody self on the side of the road and died. We thankfully got it towed to some "German Auto Haus", a nice family owned and operated place. It was a Father and some very handsome german sons. They were fabulous. They drove us to a hotel across the freeway from Magic Mountain, told us where to go for food and said they'd be in touch. They expected to have it up and running in about 2 or 3 days. We did go to Magic Mountain one day and had a BLAST, but other than that, we stayed holed up in a Quality Inn for the next 3 days. We needed to wash our clothes, but the motel we were in didn't have a laundry room, so they let us go to the Marriott next door where we were told to say "Harvey" sent us. We needed all of our clothes washed so we sat in the laundry room with towels and garbage sacks around our waists hoping no one would come in. We took turns keeping watch. We walked 2 miles (one way) to a grocery store and bought Cup-O-Noodles, pringles and Dr. Pepper. Financially we were thrown by the extra hotel time, so we did what we could. It was a fantastic 3 days. It was stressful, sure, but it was a lot of fun. We just sat around, talking watching TV and playing games. We had fun just doing nothing. It was a fun adventure.

We got back in the car and finally got home, where are kids were anxiously awaiting their first meeting with our new broken down van.

So that is how it began. She is a good van, she is old, but she is good. We love her like she is part of the family. I refer to her as a "her" because I have discovered that the problem with our van is that it is a women. She is 13 years old. She has hit puberty. She started her period. She is moody and temperamental. That is what it is. Except, 13 in car years, what would that make her, like 54? So maybe it is meno-pause. Whatever it is, she is a women. She reserves the right to do what she wants, when she wants, and sometimes she puts out, sometimes she doesn't.

We have a history. All in all she is such a good loyal friend. We talked about getting rid of her, trading her up for a newer, prettier car, and the kids were DEVASTATED. We all are at the thought of losing her. We are hoping she will stick it out for a few more years. Here's hoping...

She is part of our world...part of what adds to our madness. And you know some repairs are still cheaper than the monthly payment for a new car. So we'll keep her.....hopefully............

Foto-Friday

2006-03-10T17:12:00.000-07:00

I haven't decided if I like doing this on Friday's yet. My problem is this...most of my favorite stories are from the past. The corresponding photo from said stories are...where else??? The storage unit. Where our many things will remain until the day we sell this house. If that day should ever come. If it does indeed come and we are lucky enough to unload the storage unit, I will have mounds of photos and stories to go with them. For now though, I am just digging. Deep.

This weeks photo is from the first Halloween Ryan and I spent as marrieds. I was about 3 or 4 months pregnant. Ryan was not pregnant (wink, wink). We went to a party with other young couples. My Dad, yes that is correct I said MY DAD had a costume that I knew would be perfect for Ryan. My Dad was a mermaid one year. And what a lovely mermaid he was...so Ryan borrowed the complete costume. Wig and all. I did his make-up but had him leave his scruffy shadow. My sweet husband is a good sport. He wore it and really hammed it up. Everyone (except his Mom) loved it. Hopefully he remains my husband after he sees I posted this glorious shot. The party was kinda lame. One of his ex-girlfriends was there. And a lot of people we didn't know or really like. So we took off. The story, not so funny. But the picture, oh the picture, it says it all (And so sorry about the horrible quality, it was pre-digital and we had an obviously LAME scanner!).

I LOVE Halloween. Ryan has always been good about humoring me and my crazy costume ideas. I was a baby that year, it was the only costume I had (we were broke so we had to raid my Mom and Dad's costume box) that fit my belly. It was also on loan from my Dad. He was a lovely baby, too. The other Halloween photo is just for fun. I was Cruella and Ethan (about 8 months) and Ryan were my dalmations.

Happy Friday...I am sick, sick, sick, so I will see ya on Monday!!!!

See ya round like a doughnut...

Man, I so hope Ryan doesn't hate me for posting those. You don't hate me right, honey?!?!?! Right? You handsome, naughty little mermaid....(wink)

I want my money back...

2006-03-09T09:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I changed Sunny's diaper and when she got up she was complaining that her diaper hurt. I had put it on too tight, so I asked her to come back and let me fix it. I fixed it and helped her up. I asked her if that felt better and she replied... "No!!! It doesn't!!! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!".

Some mom's might hear their daughter say that and think, "what a stinker". But not me. I thought... "Atta Girl!".

I have mentioned before, a few times, that I am spoiled. I like spending money. Sometimes I spend it when I don't have it. Sometimes I spend it on things I don't want to spend it on. But when I do spend it, if the item or service purchased is not how I expect it to be I often say... "I want my money back". And when I say it I am sure I sound as silly as when my 2 year old says it. I am not a get something for nothing kind of girl, I just want what I pay for. In a salon, I charge higher than average for services, I have done hair for 12 years, I have a lot of extra training, and well, I am good! (wink) But, I always give my clients their money's worth, and then some. I wouldn't expect them to pay high end if they weren't given a high end service.

So, I got a pedicure last weekend. Worst one I have ever gotten. I don't think it was worth what I paid, but sometimes you gotta say Oh well and come home and complain to your husband and tell him you want your money back. But sometimes it's different. Sometimes...

Is your food wrong and gross and the sevice was bad? You want your money back!

Did you buy a shirt that was made poorly? You want your money back!

Did you pay to get your hair done and it looks crappy? You want your money back!

Did you fly to Portland Oregon a little over a year ago to buy a cool van because you didn't want the same mini-van as every other Mom in town? Did it break down on the ride home? Did you have to extend your little road trip an extra 3 days in Valencia, California waiting for your car to get repaired? Did you go to Magic Mountain while you were stranded there? Did you forget protection on your little roadtrip and stop to buy some fancy new kind to test out? Did the fancy new kind not work? ***Did you get unexpectedly pregnant with a 5th baby? Did you break the faucet on the tub in your hotel room so the tub was set to blasted hot and wouldn't turn off? Did you get home, barely, and have to take your new van straight to the shop to get fixed? Again? Did you then take it in 5 more times over the last year? Did you get stuck on your way home from taking your kids to school this morning? Did you cry as you sat, stranded for an hour and a half with 3 young kids, 2 of which have pink eye, wondering how and when you might get home? Did you feel screwed? Well I did!!! And I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!!

***This part I actually am thankful for. I just had to really lay it out there. Lay out just how much we have gone through for this van.

Because it's Ladies Day...

2006-03-08T08:23:00.000-07:00

So last night Ryan and I were hanging out, watching some American Idol (I love Simon, but could he have been ANY more obvious trying to swing votes???) and Ryan Seacrest mentioned that the men would sing tonight but last night was ladies night. That reminded Ryan (not Seacrest, my husband Ryan) of something he had heard earlier in the day on talk radio.

Talk Radio. Seems lame. It should be called "Listen Radio". If I heard "Talk Radio" I would be a little disappointed that I don't get to talk at all. Just sit and listen. It seems boring too. So I miss the heads up on Women's Day and other various tid-bits of information I can live without. Besides, I have a magazine to read... And the word radio. It is almost starting to sound "old-fashioned" the word radio. Like, don't we all listen to CD's now? Or MP3's? The radio, though? It is weird, but when I mention the radio, my kids giggle at me the way I used to giggle at my parents when they said 8 track. I do listen in on conversations on my XM satellite though, and that doesn't seem nearly as funny to my kids. I am only 29, why do I seem so old to them???

Anyway, I digress... So as Ryan and I are hanging out he mentions that he heard on his new best friend "talk radio" (he really needs a shorter commute, I can just see him having full on conversations with his speakers) that today, this beautiful Whacked Out Wednesday, is Women's Day. I googled it and it's real. I told Ryan it sounded a little fake. A little lame. I thought it sounded like a "Politically Correct" holiday. Not all women are Mother's, so they don't claim Mother's Day. Not all women are Secretary's, so there goes Secretary's Day. So it just sounded like the world of "PC" needed to make it fair for all the ladies. He said, not true, it is for real. He said it was an "international holiday, designed to celebrate women everywhere and all of their accomplishments".

So I asked him the obvious question..... "What are you getting me?".

Don't bring up a holiday that celebrates me if you don't have something planned (note: please refer to post I AM SPOILED). Wink, wink....

So a quick shout out to all my Lady Friends..... Happy Women's Day. Celebrate being a woman today. Celebrate all the great women stuff. And do all the fun women stuff. Celebrate your accomplishments. So basically it is much like every other day. Get your kids off to school on time, feed babies, change diapers, wipe bums, wipe snotty noses, get kids home from school, help with homework, more diapers, more mouths to feed, make dinner, bathe kids, put kids to bed. You know, all those things that do make being a Women so great.

In all honesty, and no sarcasm (which my threads are normally dripping in) I do LOVE being a woman. I love the accomplishments women have made, I love the success all the ladies before me have had and that we as women continue to have. I love being a strong, independent women and am proud to be one.

Plus, I like having boobs better than I would like a hairy chest.

'

Raise Your Hand...

2006-03-06T21:02:00.000-07:00

...if you agree that Jon Stewart is the most brilliant man that Hollywood world as seen in AGES. Possibly the most brilliant ever.

I always love the Oscars. Always. I love the hair, I love the dresses, I love them. As I have mentioned a time or two before, I am a tad bit obsessed with Hollywood in general, so give those people a reason to come together and I say Hooray. All the people I love to love/hate all in one place. Some look gorgeous (Uma, George,) some look like their pet monkey adopted from a small foreign country dressed them (Charlize, girl, WTF?!?!). Jen Lindley came all the way from Capeside with her outted cowboy husband and took a lot of crap for how she looked, but I disagree, I thought she looked great. She looked better than a certain co-star from the creek who can most recently be seen with her fiance from another planet in a gigantic burberry swimsuit cover-up looking, well, less hot than Miss Michelle at the Oscars. When Reese got up to accept her much deserved award I mentioned how much I liked her, Ryan commented about how classy and cute she is, we were talking about her as a Mother (because, like we know) and Ethan says, "Plus she's Sexy". It was a good night for me, my WHOLE family sat and watched the entire show. The kids cheered for the ones they love ("What I can't believe King Kong didn't win for best cinematogrophy, what a rip off!") and booed when the Chinese movie (Geisha) kept winning ("I can't believe the Chinese movie keeps beating King Kong"). They had so much fun watching. Overall a great night. I enjoyed the show.

Like I said I have always loved the Oscars. but last night a new bar was set. Who ever they choose to host next, well I pity him/her. To follow Jon Stewart would be, well about the worst thing ever. This was a big year for risky movies, political films, racial films, overtly gay films, a film about women's rights and lame Jane Austen (not that I don't like her, but they are all the same...). And so it was appropriate that they choose an equally risky host. He was FANTASTIC. His campaign commercials, his digs against Hollywood, even his high brow jokes that fell a little flat to some of it's audience, every bit of it was true Jon Stewart genius as usual.

I have enjoyed Jon Stewart since he was Half Baked and love him more everytime I see him. So tonight I would like to say Thank You Mr. Oscar for finally doing the right thing...dumping the traditional way (Billy Crystal, Whoopi or Chris Rock) because that didn't seem to be working. And FINALLY getting someone funny, smart, handsome, and the fourth male lead in Death to Smoochie. Ya did the right thing.

Now, I am off, The Daily Show is about to start. Fake news never was so good.

(For what it's worth... Munich should have won something...It was AMAZING but definately not for the faint of heart!!!)

If The Shoe Fits...Buy One In Every Color...

2006-03-02T17:30:00.000-07:00

I know, typically an entry of mine that would begin with those 2 words, "spoiled" and "rotten" you would likely assume I am speaking of my sweet little girl, Sunny. Well, she is. But today I am not talking about Sunny. I am talking about the lady she gets most of her "spoiled rotten-esque" qualities from. Her Mother. Me.

My name is Linsey, and I am a spoiled rotten girl (Hello, Linsey). I have been spoiled rotten for about 29 and 1/2 years. I am spoiled rotten all day, everyday (Isn't admitting it the first step? Oh, come on, it has atleast got to be A step...). Is there some sort of support group? Am I even sure I want a support group? A whole giant group of women like me? No. I am not sure I want that. Because that would interfere with my other habit, my "I need all the attention" habit. But maybe a support group for "Husbands of Spoiled Women". Maybe a group where they teach husbands how to sufficiently please their spoiled rotten wives? Although my husband needs no help with that. He actually fuels my spoiled rotten habit. He gives me every thing I want, so you can imagine my tantrums when he actually resists getting me everything I want, and he does resist, not because he is mean, because he's not, but because he loves me. And he knows it is good for me to sometimes just keep on wanting and not ever getting. Sometimes.

I want a new laptop. I want one bad, and I want one yesterday. The thing is, I know he wants to get me one, and he will, but the spoiled rotten toddler in me wanted it 2 weeks ago.

I go shopping, and you know, there are 3 types of shoppers in the world. There are...

The one's who go purely out of necessity, because it is not permitted to go around wearing no clothes and never eating food. Things like that (or because they want to make their wife/husband happy). They hate it, but they do it to survive. Sorta the way I look at cleaning.
The one's who's greatest mission in life is sniffing out the perfect deal. They shop at 12 stores, to compare prices, they clip coupons. They buy something and return it later because they found it somewhere else for $5.87 cheaper.
The one's that walk into a store and see the perfect thing, and without a doubt it will be the most expensive item in the store. There will be an exact replica and I mean exact but this shopper will notice the one teeny-tiny difference.

I do indeed think shopping is a necessity. Not because I have to wear clothes or eat food, but because I honestly will die if I don't shop. It is a physical requirement for me to live. I would love to find a deal, on an expensive thing. But I am the one who always walks into a store and loves the most expensive thing. My favorite car? Always happens to be the priciest. Favorite house, same thing. Even my Mayo, it tastes better, the more costly one.

How silly is it that when we are on a road trip, I make my sweet husband drive to 3 different gas stations because I swear that Evian water tastes better. He used to allow it, but now I either drink Dasani (they have the best bottles) or I don't drink.

I am allergic to things with nickel. I really am. If I wear fake stuff, I get a rash. My sweet husband jokes that I am allergic to anything but diamonds. I just keep telling him it's true.

I saw something once that said "If Loving An Accesory Is Wrong, Than I Am As Wrong As Can Be".

We have a price range we are trying to stay at for a new house. I could get a house that I love for the price we want in this neighborhood that is to DIE for. Or I could get a house in the very nice neighborhood across the street for the same price, and about 700 square feet bigger. Which one do you think I am gunning for?

When we bought our van, I wanted a Volkswagen Eurovan so bad that we ended up flying to Portland, Oregon and driving it home, because we couldn't find one in Arizona.

I really don't love this quality about me. Honestly, I don't. My sweet husband has learned to harness the habit and has controlled me considerably, but it still exists. I try not to be spoiled. For example, I will not buy that house in the neighborhood I love because what our family needs right now is more space and smaller house payment, so I will do it. But there will be a small part of me that will be disappointed. I hope all of you are not so disgusted you never return. Atleast I know that all of my spoiled friends will stick with me, right?

I don't want nice things because I care what the other Mom's at playgroup think, or anything like that. I actually have never cared all that much what others thought of me or my "things". I just like nice stuff. Nice, Expensive stuff...

I am not proud of this habit, but it is who I am...So I might as well embrace it...

So I'll see 'ya round. I saw this super-cute pink RAZR cell phone that I have to have, and I don't think they close until 9:00...

Answered Prayers...

2006-03-01T08:14:00.000-07:00

I love the conversations that kids have, my little people especially. Yesterday just after I finished blogging about the cute things my kids do or say, they had a conversation that I could NOT wait to write about. I already emailed it to family and posted it on my bulletin board, but had to share it here too.

We live in Arizona. It is really hot and really dry. Especially lately. We have been needing rain for a long time. So here is how things went yesterday afternoon...

Enter Ethan (stage right): (he took something out to the garbage and came in SCREAMING…) He came and showed me 2 very tiny, miniscule drops on his arm

Ethan: Yeah Baby!!! (repeat several times) It’s raining! It’s raining!

Mom: That’s great!

Ethan: Check!

Mom: Check what?

Ethan: Well that is one thing I can check off of my prayers!!!

(Sunny, who is dancing and screaming with Ethan but has NO CLUE why they are doing it, looks up at Ethan with a look of total confusion)

Ethan: Sunny, it hasn’t rained in Arizona for about 132 DAYS!!! So now the drought is over!

Calvin: Uh, Ethan, we don’t say drought that is a bad word…

Tyler: Oh, We are totally playing in the rain today, so watch out Hoddy-doo-doo!!! (please don’t ask, we are never sure with him…)

Sunny: Rain? What’s Rain? (I swear she knew once, it has just been awhile)

Ethan: See these drops? (pointing to the very few drops on the cement) Heavenly Father makes rain and then the rain comes out of the clouds.

Sunny: Ohhhh… (then pointing up to the clouds and yelling at the top her lungs she says) Heavenly Father, We do NOT go pee on the floor!!!!

So I think that settles it. I have really cute kids. Not that there was ever a debate or anything…

And as for the rain? (The attached picture is NOT from this drizzle yesterday, but since I had a picture of them playing in the rain...) We were supposed to get the GIANT rain storms that California was having. In our end of the valley, we got about a dozen drops… So we are still dry as a bone…The kids played outside all afternoon in hopes of MORE rain, a big downpour. Calvin came in the house soaking wet saying "Mom it's raining" I ran outside to take a picture to go with this blog and what really happened was they got tired of waiting for more rain, so they all stripped down to nothing (which is why you won't be seeing the picture) and turned on the hose and played pretend...

Wow, Who Taught These Kids???

2006-02-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

Atleast once a day, my kids do something and I think, "Oh, man, Who taught you that?". Here are a few examples.

Finn LOVES spit. He blows it out all over his face, puts his hands in his mouth and slobbers like mad, you know, normal 7 month old tricks. But then he starts to rub his slobbery, wet fingers all over himself. He loves it. He sits there alone and rubs spit all over his face and just giggles.

Sunny has a song and dance for EVERYTHING she does. She is a ham. The best one though is when she is naked and getting in the tub or shower. She stands there naked and rubs her belly and rotates her naked little hips around and sings "My body, my body..." Over and over again. I did NOT teach her that. I Swear.

Calvin was singing the "ABC's" while he was playing today. (*Warning the following is rated PG for strong language*) He started strong, and then he got to... J-K-L-M-An-I-Have-Ta-P-To-Your-Ass-T-U-V...... Wha? (...Note to self, perhaps it is time for a new pre-school teacher...).

Tyler likes to stretch while he goes the bathroom. I think sometimes he forgets that he has a strong and steady stream coming out. I will be in the kitchen and I hear sudden splashes as he goes and I know it is hitting places besides the toilet. I walk in and say, "Tyler watch where your peeing, please" and he turns, his entire body, mid-stream, toward me and says "What Mom?". Uh, nevermind...All just part of his "La-Dee-Da" way of life.

Ethan. Man oh man. Sometimes I go into the bathroom and notice a little fingerprint on the wall. In pooh. I never thought I would say to my kids, "Don't wipe poop on my wall!!" One time Calvin was in the bathroom with Ethan (Ethan would DIE if he knew I was telling this), and they were giggling. Calvin was a year and a half, and Ethan was about 5. I told Calvin to come out and give his brother privacy. When he walked out he had "war paint" on his face. Done in POOH!!! If I was surprised about telling kids not to wipe poop on my wall, imagine my surprise when I had to say "We do not wipe poo on our brother!!!".

One time I was on the phone and I said, "Wow, What a Bitch", I thought Ethan was in his room, but my sweet little 3 year old Ethan looked up from behind the couch and said "Mom, where the Hell did you learn that?".

So sometimes, my kids do things and I just go, "Wow, who on earth taught you that?" and then I think, "Oh wait, I guess that is my job..." Blush. But, they teach me something everyday. Starting with today, when I tried to correct Calvin and his ABC's and he refused to believe that I knew the right words. I told them I learned it in school too, when I was little and he said "Mom, you are not little. And they probably changed it since your school anyways..." And today when I went to the bathroom, Sunny, in her sweetest voice said "Mommy, we don't go pee on the floor, okay Mommy?". Gosh, Thanks Sunny. To think I had been doing it wrong all these years.... I love being a Mom. Especially to 5 kids who seem to know so much more than I do! Phew, what would life have been if no one taught me how to apply war paint properly, you know, the necessities of life.

Okay People, Make It Work!

2006-02-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

My name is Linsey and I am addicted to television. Reality Television to be more exact. I am a realty tv whore to be honest. I can admit it. I know it is trashy, smutty, stupid and even fake. I still love it. I love The Bachelor, American Idol, Blow Out, Amazing Race, Survivor, Real World, All of them.

A favorite that's on right now is Project Runway on Bravo. It is on Wednesday nights. I record it and the next morning when all of Sunny's brothers are at school and Finn is napping, Sunny and I crawl in my bed, with a treat (because it is required when you watch reality tv) and watch Project Runway. One of my favorite times. If you haven't watched it you won't be as impressed with the events of this morning, but it is still cute. Anyway, imagine my pride when after we watched it this morning, Sunny put on her dress-up heels with her nightgown and started catwalking all over the house. She kept telling me "Mom, sometimes you are in and sometimes you are out". Then, when I was getting dressed, she was in the bathroom with me and I was looking at myself in the mirror (What? I was just flexing and stuff...okay not really, I was seeing if my fat bum was still fat...by the way, it is...) and she noticed me looking in the mirror, and said "Okay people it's time to make it work". Now to some of you readers that might not mean anything, but she is my daughter, and I understood her to say "Mom, I will always watch reality tv with you and love it just as much as you do..."

Then later today it got better. She sometimes hugs the curtains over the sliding glass door, and sings and practices dancing, and at times expresses her love to her fake friend that is my curtain (yikes, right?) and today she asked the curtain "will you have my rose?".

Oh. My sweet girl. I have always known that you are one apple that didn't fall far from this tree. We are so much alike. More and more everyday...

Home Sweet Home

2006-02-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I came home, just like I said I would. And it really is good to be back. I missed my family a whole lot. So here are just a few weekend highlights...

The car ride there was not as I expected. I didn't have a chance to listen to my iPod like I had hoped. I did, though have some good conversation. I like to talk, a lot, and it is like I spend all day everyday with little people who prefer to have conversation about elmo or pokemon or things like that and so I really let it all out. I really did. All of it. Ask my Mom and Dad, it is possible they won't hear you ask them though because their ears have actually shut down. Overheated or something. Or they got talked right off.
My Grandpa was, is and will forever be the cutest little old man ever. Physically he struggles sometimes, but he is as sharp as a tack. I love his bald head, I love his big ears, I love his giggle, I love his jokes (and he has some doozies), I love his wisdom, I love how he loves my Grandma, and I love how he loves me. He is really amazing, and without getting too personal (or serious) it was an emotional, powerful and spiritual weekend for me.
I realized something about getting old. I have always thought it stunk. Because quite frankly, it does. People have to help you go the bathroom, or sometimes help you eat, your body falls apart. A lot of crappy things start happening in old age. I realized though ,that there is a reason for it. For my Grandpa's entire life he (like many elderly people) sacrificed everything for people around him, his wife, his family, everyone he came into contact with. He served so much, also for his wife and family and again, for anyone. He lived his whole life doing all he could for others (especially his family) and very, very little for himself. We get old, and fall apart and need help because it is necessary for the people we spent our life serving. It is the greatest act of service that we can give back. To care for him when he can no longer care for himself. It is why Heavenly Father allows for our bodies to stop working as well, so that our children, and grandchildren have an opportunity to serve us. I had the opportunity this weekend to care for and serve my Grandpa, and it was an amazing experience.
I love my kids. I missed them desperately. I called them every chance I got. When they cried and told me they missed me and asked when I was coming home, I just comforted them and told them to be happy and I would be home soon. What I really did though was tell them all those things while I had some of my own tears. I need my kids and noticed much missing from me while I was away. It was good for them to need their Daddy, but I can't tell you how happy I was when they came home and saw me. Their faces were all I need in life.
I don't just love my husband, but I can't even hardly be without him. I don't even like to try. I lose part of myself when I am away from him. I need to get in bed with him at night and... (hey now, this is a clean blog)... lay in his armpit and talk about my day and his day and our kids. I need that. If I don't have I can't sleep. Honestly, I could NOT sleep. He is so amazing. The best Dad, the best son, the best friend, the best at everything he does. Especially a husband, he really is the best husband. (Awwwww....)
Utah is cold. I left Arizona and it was 80 DEGREES. 80. At one point the car said the temperature outside was 7 DEGREES. 7. Not a typo, I didn't mean 70, I said what I meant and I said 7. I don't own a jacket, I live in Arizona, I am not sure you can even buy one here. I also didn't pack anything but my Arizona style shoes, lightweight, usually open-toed not for snow shoes. It was cold. I liked it for about an hour than I was sick of it. We were at the mall and I watched what a pain it was for Mom's coming running in from the parking lot through the snow, and I thought to myself "Arizona really isn't so bad". Plus, I don't like shovels.
I love my extended family a lot. This isn't new but it is worthy of a highlight. I really love them. My Aunts, Uncles, cousins. I have a great family.
I have a computer addiction. Specifically to blogging and my bulletin board. I thought the look on my kids face was great when they saw me, but you should have seen the look on MY face when I saw the computer. Oh, happy day.
I have good friends and family, they did so much for our family. Angela and Christy not only had my kids with them all day Friday but when Ryan went to pick them up, there was a big Spaghetti dinner packed up and ready to go home with my family. I am so lucky.
It is possible that the Eurovan is going to take an early retirement. It shut down on the way to work Monday. She is getting old, but she's got a lot of life left I hope. I am not ready to be done with her. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
On the way home, about 3 hours into the 11 hour drive. I revealed my secret to my parents. I am indeed a CHATTY girl. I can and like to talk. But behind my talking non-stop (seriously, my mouth is sore from all the talking) was a greater motive. My parents might be getting to the point where (sorry Mom and Dad...) they might consider not making that drive. They were tired. Sleepy tired. Eyes closing, switching lanes without realizing tired. I honestly thought if I stopped talking they may not wake up. So I literally was talking to save my life (totally awesome, huh....I would do it again if I had to... I loved every minute of it). I felt like Chunk in The Goonies when he the bad guys were asking him where his friends went and they were going to put his hand in the blender and said to tell them everything from the beginning..."One time when I was eight...." That was me. In fact, the reason I revealed why I was was talking so DANG much (even I was getting sick of my voice) was because I was running dry. I had told every story I could think of. I drug up everything, past and present and I had actually reached a point where I had nothing left to say. It was a new day for me. I didn't know what to do. Thankfully, though in true Linsey fashion, something about Goonies triggered another thought and we made it home safely. Phew...
I came home and realized I got the FRIDAY FLIP-UP over at Tripping over Cobblestone. I love her blog, and her Friday Flip-up so that was exciting news. Check her out.
I also found out I made the finalist list over at the One Woman's World Share the Love awards. Thankyou to all who read and voted! I am a finalist in Most meetable in Real life. Hmmmm.... I guess this is a bad time to mention that I am a mean, dirty old man. I drink and swear and scratch my bum. Still wanna meet me??? Okay, so really I am not, but I was a little surprised at the category I am a finalist in. Not so surprised that I won't take it though! Thanks!

So that's about all I am gonna share about the weekend. I had a great time, but am ready to get back to my regularly scheduled real life. Back to my Mad world. I feel fresh, rested and revived and ready to tackle anything. Including the glass that Sunny already broke this morning and the throw up that Finn gave me and the lump on Calvin's head from the wall he ran into. I'm ready, I'm ready! So life can go ahead and bring it.

I am so happy to be back, in my own, mad little world, my favorite place to be.

Peace Out...

2006-02-15T12:10:00.000-07:00

It is Wednesday today. You know what that means? It means tomorrow is Thursday. Yes, folks, Thursday. Thursday the 16th. That means I am leaving on a little trip to Utah without my kids. I am driving with my Mom and Dad and brother Cory. And I am NOT coming back....Well, okay, I am coming back. But not until Monday night. My Grandpa is getting an award and he has been sick, mostly the regular getting old stuff, and I need to go visit. He will sleep and I will be happy to watch him.

I love taking road trips. When I was younger I used to take them all the time. We would go without telling anyone, I think I thought my parents would tell me it was a bad idea. So we would go without asking, or telling, and then we would sleep at my grandparents house. Duh. For sure my parents wouldn't find that out, right? What a dummy. But I do love road trips.

I don't like it as much when we have to stop to pee every 30 minutes because our toddler isn't fully potty trained. Or when kids are fighting. Or when a toddler throws a toy and hits Dad in the back of the head, but atleast he was awake. But not this time. It is just me and my husbands iPod and the wide open road. What? What's that you say, Mom? Sorry I can't hear you with my music on so loud! I am going to catch up on sleep, and music that doesn't teach me my ABC's, I am gonna eat treats and not have anyone ask if they can have some and I am going to sleep some more. Although, I am the type of passenger that asks the driver every 20-30 minutes, "You awake" or "you doin' okay?" or "need me to drive". I like road trips, but I am certain if any one else drives they will fall asleep and drive right off the road. I know it will happen if I don't ask them every 30 minutes. Although, I might keep them awake I think I may have an even greater chance of getting driven off the road. Out of sheer annoyance with me they may make a beeline for the cliff. Maybe I will consider spreading the questions out a little.

So I am really excited. I hear that in Utah they don't have computers. I think I heard that those crazy mormons aren't allowed to use technology or something. (Okay, before I start any rumors, I am a crazy mormon and that is a joke. I know they can use technology. They just can't eat meat. ...Okay, caught me again...they can eat meat....they just have to share the meat with all 14 of their kids... plus the 27 kids from their daddy's other wives. And that is not a joke....okay, it's a joke. A really bad joke. For some reason I can't seem to find an off switch anywhere....Please make it stop....) So I will check in to read a few blogs, but won't be back until Monday, and then you can bet I will have a doozy of a post. I am sure something of interest will happen on this trip worthy of a blog. I will make sure of it.

In the meantime though, head on over to this site. Heather has a new site and she is doing some awards. I was nominated for a few catergories, Humor (duh, since I am hilarious, wink, wink) Makes me want to have kids (honestly? I make someone want to have kids? ... kidding...) and Most meetable in real life. Which is true, I would totally want to meet me. But you know, I am a little disappointed. I really thought I had a fighting chance in "Best Site Design". I have worked so hard on my design. I have tried to make it unique and personalized to show a little about who I am. It's really disappointing. Maybe next year. Okay, so not really, I just picked "blue dots template" and away I went. But I am lucky I even figured that much out.

So go cast your vote (for me) and look at that nomination list. You will be hooked. There are some really good blogs on there. You will be addicted and not pull away from your computer for days. And finally, when your kids are playing in the street eating candy a stranger gave them while they practice knife-throwing at each other, only then will you pull away, only briefly though because you will hurry back to the computer to blog about it... you know you will...

So see ya later!!! I give myself about 2 hours before I miss my kids and husband (and computer) like CRAZY...

And the Oscar Goes To...

2006-02-14T00:12:00.000-07:00

Are you totally addicted to "The Bachelor" too? Every season I say "I am SO not watching next season". Big. Fat. Liar. I always make one of those "countdown chains" until when the next season starts (okay, not literally, but by the time the commercials pop back on for the new Bachelor, well, let's just say, they had me at "Meet the new Bachelor..." Ahhhh).

So they suckered me into another season. Why? Because it is more realistic this time? Do they have better chances of making a real love match because they switched things up and headed out to Paris? Man, he better pick the local Tennessee girl because Nashville might be a wee bit different from Paris. Never been to either, but I am guessing...

So here is how it went on tonight's episode...

Travis: One thing I find really attractive in a woman is someone who isn't afraid to disagree with me. If I say or do something that you don't agree with I want to be called out. I don't want a woman who agrees with me all the time.

Susan: No, I totally agree. I mean one of my biggest pet peeves is someone who just agrees with everything. That just is so not me. I totally agree with you.

(Commercial break: If I have to watch Jessica Simpson sing about pizza crust "popping into me" one more time I will surely die. DIE. Now all we would need for the worst television experience in HISTORY is Jessica Simpson as the next Bachelorette...Ew, gag. She is gross. And by gross I mean, she is like fresh horse pooh at a parade that the clown stepped in and when he started skipping away it flung off his shoes right over to you. That is what I mean by gross. Was that too much? Over the top? I mean, somebody really should stop me...)

Travis: I sometimes think you are telling me what I want to hear.

Susan: Wha? Really? That is SO not who I am. This is just me (pause for dramatic affect) being (wait for it...) me. Truth is I am nervous (because I am about to flat out lie on TV, but it will show my range as an actress) because I am totally falling in love with you.

Wow, that is super timing, although, I am pretty sure that was a time she thought she was saying what he wanted to hear but she was really wrong.

Everything she said was so forced and scripted. Something she heard in a romantic movie (or on a previous Bachelor).

In the Limo afterward when she was saying "blah, blah, blah" (okay I wasn't listening, I admit it) and they would go back to the 2 that made it and Travis then they would cut back to her, and when she really started working up her cry (I can admit I would have made a fine actress, I practiced that cry, it got me out of a lot of tickets.). LAME. When someone is really upset and crying, they don't take time to make sure they make their pouty-lips just right, or bite the lower lip, "sniff, I mean the really upsetting thing is that I showed him the real Susan"...Well then, sister, stop being the "real Susan" and start acting because the "real Susan" was L-A-M-E. When the credits were rolling I expected her to be thanking ABC and the Producers for just giving a girl a break, taking a chance...Blah, Blah, Blah...

She really had me fooled. I thought for sure she was there for her true love. So disappointing since she was being "so professional" and all.

I hope he picks his BFF over the psycho-nut-job.

Ladies...This is the final rose...

Ye Olde Crazy Festival

2006-02-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

This weekend I saw, Pirates, Jesters, a homeless townsman, a lot of drunk people, jousting, lots of cleavage and so many Gypsies (none of which were my neighbor...). We came, we saw and we had a blast!!!

We took our Kids to the Arizona Renaissance Festival this weekend. Last year we went and had tons of fun until we had a HORRIBLE rain storm and there we were in the very back of the festival running back to the car with 4 wet kids and a pregnant Mom through mud. Not the best way to end the day. But this year we enjoyed the festival from open to close and in 80 degree weather. It was a perfect day. Even with Gypsies.

I am always surprised at how much the teenagers get into the festival. Our babysitter goes every weekend. They dress up in there cleavage baring outfits (Ethan didn't really come right out and say it, but I think that the cleavage may have been his favorite part, everytime we caught him staring, Ryan just looked at him and said "Me too, son, me too") and talk in there accents (not sure really what kind of accents, but I give them thumbs-up for trying). Adults really get into it too. There was this one guy who was new this year. He was a homeless crippled townsman. He sat in the dirt begging for money, he would push his bucket toward you as you walked by trying to get you to put money in it. My kids LOVED him. Because when you put money in his bucket, he would hit himself in the head with a frying pan. If you put bills in he would blow a horn, with his nose. He also picked his nose a lot. I noticed he had really fabulous teeth. Perfect, straight, bright white teeth. He was smart though, we sat and watched him for about 10 minutes and in that short 10 minutes he got atleast $25.00-$35.00 dollars.

The people that work there define "Carni's". Gross, dirty anything to make a buck, begging you to come pay $10.00 to throw a tomato at a jester, or throw an axe at a bullseye. They tell you anything, "You are the fairest maiden I have seen here today, you have to come play..." Yeah, right, I saw the other girl walk by, her boobs were hanging right out of her bustier, she was much fairer. At the end of every show they talk about how they make their money, by us putting money in their buckets. We did, we gave a couple bucks at the end of the show, we didn't mind. It was worth it, the shows are so great. Some are a little vulgar, not for kids, but great shows. My kids favorite last year and again this year was "The Wyldman". 2 guys who play in mud basically. I liked the "London Broil" they juggled, which was okay, but they were very funny. We had so much fun.

I was wondering though... The show is only open on Saturday and Sunday (plus Presidents Day). So what do the workers do all week? Their only job is traveling renaissance Festivals around the country. I know they don't make a ton of money, atleast not enough to stay at a hotel all week in between the shows. Ryan and I figured they probably drag trailers around with them and live in them during the week. We were thinking though, how funny it probably is during the week, like do they still hang out in the village? Does the homeless crippled guy still sit and beg? Do they still talk to each other in their English accents? Do they still call each other "ma'lady" and "my good man"? Have they done this for so long that they actually believe their little Village is real? They probably sit their all week getting drunk at the local pub ("The Pirate's Booty" maybe?) and chasing home a fair maiden? Ohhh, what if when someone acts up, do they put their super-sweet torture museum to good use? Just try them out to see out they work! What on earth do they do all week??? They entertain on the weekends, but during the week it is a gritty, seedy little english village...Someone should do an expose, maybe I should, about life as a renaissance worker. "Behind the Fair...". Oh, I am so doing that. Done and done. I mean, maybe the reason it hasn't been done is because there really isn't much demand for it, understandable, but maybe a few of my readers want to know, and that is reason enough for me!

Anyway, we had a blast. I think we may try to hit it one more time before the circus leaves town. One last Turkey leg to gnaw on. One last visit with a Tortuga Twin. One last romp in the mud...

Maybe we will dress up as peasants and sit on the dirt and make our monkeys...er, kids...dance for cash....er, coins...

We only lost Calvin once, very briefly, Sunny walked the wrong direction for a second, and Tyler got lost but stood right where he was so he was quickly found. Oh, yes and we rode an elephant, a dream come true for Calvin. It was really cool.

It's all in good fun...

Foto-Friday

2006-02-10T08:25:00.000-07:00

Many of the blogs I frequent have a designated theme day. Some do Tips for Tuesday, Show and Tell Thursday, Guess the Photo Tuesday there are tons of them. I like the idea...So I'm gonna do Foto-Friday.

I have stories about my kids that the world needs to hear (and see). Because, well, my kids are crazy for one thing. Sometimes when I tell stories about my kids, being the storyteller I am, i think people think I exaggerate. I don't. And Fridays will be proof of it. So on Fridays I will pick a photo, past or present, and document it....for posterity....and embarrassment!

First up is a picture of Ethan. This is what happens when you go to Costco AND talk on the phone to your husband in the same day. I talked for, no kidding, 3 minutes. I smelled peanut butter and thought that seemed strange. I go out to the family room to find a peanut butter monster. With strategically placed peanut butter all over his body. I live in Arizona. It was summertime and it was hot. Causing the peanut butter to melt. It took an hour and a half of showering and 2 baths to get the greasy, oily peanut butter off his body.

The second picture for today is Sunny. You may come to notice that Friday should more appropriately be called "Sunny is out of control and comes up with crazy ideas-Friday". I am betting that the majority of Friday pictures will feature Sunny. She is so much fun and comes up with such wild ideas!!! I think it is safe to say all little girls will find their Mom's lipstick at some point in their toddler life. This one is a personal favorite. Atleast of the "playing in Mom's make-up" variety.

This one is Calvin. He has no fear. None. And his body moves a little faster than his mind. He has had several concussions by the young age of 3. He forgets to turn corners and runs into the wall. Things like that. This one in particular, he didn't take notice that the playground did indeed come to an end. When it happened it looked as though he thought he had some sort of flying abilities. He took off running and ran right off the edge of the plaything and landed face first in the sand. I wish I could say "you should see the other guy" but most of Calvins fights involve just him and a flat surface.

Finn hasn't gotten into too much trouble in his short little life....yet. I am sure he will. So this is just a great picture. What do you dress your 3 month old up as for Halloween? The choice for blood-sucking vampire seemed obvious to me.

Last but not least is Tyler. He isn't a trouble maker. He doesn't get into things he shouldn't. He is much more a lover than fighter. But sometimes, he too finds my lipstick.

So there you have it. Some may think this is a testament to my parenting skills. Some might wonder where I am during all of this. Some might wonder if I actually watch my kids. Some may ask themselves what kind of Mom am I? Those are all good questions. But I am sure that anyone with kids can relate. Can't you??? Please, tell me you can...

What The Folk

2006-02-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

Well, my kids are all losing their minds. So that means so am I. With all the changes happening for our family, new job for Dad, selling our house and when we do sell our house, new city, new school, new friends. So Ethan is feeling sad, he doesn't do really well with change. Tyler is super emotional, even more so than normal. I never knew it was possible to be more emotional than Tyler normally is, but alas, he is. Calvin and Sunny are fighting all the time, which is also very rare for those two. So we are taking a day. We are all home today, boys stayed home from school and we are going to do our best to regroup. Destress. Have some fun. We got some fun ideas of things to do here and we are going to check a few out.

So a day with all 5 kids at home and Dad gone to work means that plenty will happen that I can blog about tomorrow, but for today I will just go be Mom, away from the computer.

But in the meantime, I have something that everyone needs to hear atleast once. Have you heard of Flight Of The Conchords??? If you have, you have just taken a significant leap forward in my book, you are very cool. If you haven't, you are still cool but you have to hear them. They are a musical comedy act who, in their own words are New Zealand's 4th most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo. Like there are 3 other guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk- comedy duo's. Anyway go here, and listen to "Business Time" or "Jenny". Seriously, it will just take a second and "business time" will never be the same...

Just trying to spread the good words...

See ya tomorrow!

Read This, Pal...

2006-02-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

I have mentioned once before my fun neighbors. When you buy a home, that's it. Atleast for awhile that is where you are gonna park it. So hopefully you have neighbors that you love.

I would like to start by saying that, yes, I know, I know I have a gigantic Gypsy following. So I do not mean to offend or anything. I am not talking about all Gypsies in general, as a people, (because to be honest I didn't know there were enough of them around to refer to them as "a people") so I do not mean to offend. From here on out, when I refer to Gypsies I mean the Gypsies next door, just like anything, I am sure every Gypsy I may happen to come across does things different from the last Gypsy.

If you hadn't guessed it already, it is Gypsy day. You finally (after much request) get to learn of my Gypsy neighbors.

First of all, wha? Who? Did you say you were Gypsies? I had NO IDEA that Gypsies were for real. Okay, maybe I knew they were real (and I use the word real very loosely) ages ago, but now I thought either you found them in:

a) The Carnival
b) Those cheap and dirty little shops also known as "scam shops"
c) 1-900-numbers. You guys know Cleo, right?
d) none of the above because they live next to me

Seriously. They will tell you, they are Gypies. Unfortunately they are not "traveling" Gypsies or they would have traveled right out of my neighborhood. Did you know that they have arranged marriages? They do, indeed. But they don't arrange marriages with just any Joe off the street, oh no-no they arrange them with someone they know and trust. Like, say for example, their cousin. YA, THAT'S RIGHT!!! They marry their cousin. As a result they have really messed up kids. But they will tell you that as well. And daughters, women in general, are treated so crappy. Our neighbors have a daughter, she is 18, soon she will marry her cousin. Until she does though, she is Cinderella, except put her in a pretty dress and she will not be a princess. She cleans, she slaves away all day, she prepares meals but she is NOT allowed to eat with the family. Not even in the same room. What? So messed up. They aren't allowed to go to school. I guess Gypsies don't have to follow laws. The son though, worshipped. Even more so than the father. They are all freakin' crazy. I could keep going, but I have more to say about more stuff (of course I do, silly, this is my blog your reading).

I would just leave them be to live their own happy little Gypsy life (although did I mention Gypsies are far from little, the whole extended family even, is gigantic). Apparently the whole "peddling crap" stayed with the Gypsies. Only now they peddle modern day stuff. I don't know where they get all the junk they peddle, but they have T.V.'s, beds, furniture, computers, stuffed animals (like the GIANT kind you could win at a carnival...huh, you see???) knock-off purses and wallets. Anything you could want, or not want actually. Another thing that these particular Gypsies have is Trailers. They buy them cheap then fix them up and resale them. They live right across the street, but if I walk outside I see their side yard and I should see a wall. But all day everyday, when I walk out my front door, this is what I see...

Always a different trailer, but always a trailer. Cars can't see around it when my kids are playing outside, people come look at my house for sale and make their final decision to buy another house based on the fact that it would bug them to have a trailer across the street all the time. I ask him all the time when he is gonna move it and he tells me something stupid like, it'll be gone tomorrow, yeah, I am sure it will so you can park the next one. But everytime he talks to me, he starts his sentence with "Sweetie". Don't. Just don't. If you know me, you know how much that will tick me off. If you don't know me, just know that that will tick me off. He called me a "little bitch" once, that doesn't bother me nearly as much. But if he thought I was one then I hadn't done anything yet, so just wait. So after about a year of having a trailer across the street (somedays 2 or 3) I pushed up my sleeves and am ready to take him down. No more Mrs. Nicemom. I am playing hardball, and believe me Mr. Gypsy, you don't want to play ANY type of ball with me.

I called the HOA ( apparently, several other neighbors have already called, just none as convincing as me) I called the police, I called the city about him running this trailer business crap out of his front yard, I even called and tattled that they don't let their kid go to school. Seriously, mess with me and chances are you get a hormonal raging bull by a lot worse than the horns (and I am trying to sell my house, so I am especially pleasant...).

Anyway, those are my Gypsy freak neighbors. If they were real gypsies, he would have seen the future and could have avoided all this. Or he could have read on his cards, or his hands, or even his big booty that this living situation wouldn't work out.

I know I seem grouchy or mean or whatever, and with him I am, but seriously....Gypsies???

***My house is for sale and I am moving, I am certain you are hoping I am not your new neighbor, but if it so happens that I do move in next door to you, I am a nice neighbor as long as you are not a gypsy. Or atleast be a nice Gypsy. And don't call me Sweetie. ***

Baby Got Back

2006-02-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

I was getting my blog on this morning and thanks to Alissa and her new web ring link I found a ton of new blogs to enjoy. Blasted Blogs. When will it stop? So many blogs...

Where was I? Oh, right, this morning. So since I found this new list of people to read, I stayed in the office on the computer for a bit longer than usual. Crap, huh? You know only bad things happen when you get distracted by the computer and your 2 and 3 year olds are left with cartoons they are bored with. I have a routine that works. While they sit and eat breakfast and watch some cartoons, I do computer junk. It works as long as I stick to the plan. So my sweet daughter was left too long and found her own fun.

Let me start with this picture. Just so you get an idea of my sweet little girl. She is the only girl with 4 brothers and she would absolutely HATE to go unnoticed. She really is sweet isn't she???

Okay, she is sweet. But today she was not quite as sweet as she looks in that particular picture. She had a brilliant idea. Or so she thought. Maybe Calvin encouraged her, or even supplied her with the idea, who knows....? Whatever the case, it was a doozy.

There I was on the computer when all of the sudden I hear Calvin yell. There was an unusual amount of panic in his voice. He was screaming for me to come... "Mom, Sunny did it! Sunny did it! Come get her! Come get mad at her!" Stuff like that. So I run in the direction of his screams. It leads me to the bathroom of all places. All messes suck, but bathroom messes, oh, dread, you just never know what you might get. I will tell you what I got. About 2 inches of toilet water on my freshly mopped floor. No joke. 2 inches. And it was still flowing out of the toilet. Craptacular. Crap, crap, crap. And I do mean crap literally. I look in the toilet and find little pieces of what seems to be cotton or bits of toilet paper or something fantastic, soggy and shred into millions of little pieces. I asked Sunny what it was and she said, "I had poop in my diaper, so I flushed". She said it real sweet-like. A diaper. She flushed her diaper. I know what your saying to yourself, (that is if you aren't laughing at my misery) your saying, oh crap. (Or maybe your saying "well that was dumb to leave your kids" or "didn't you hear them in the bathroom?" or "some Mom you are" all of which I agree with, for today only, because I can admit I was gone too long) So I sent them into Calvin's room while I mop up and try my hardest to get all of the diaper out of the toilet. I am certain I missed some, but I wanted to be sure that Ryan wouldn't be bored when he got home from work tonight (insert evil laugh here).

When I was done cleaning, about 30 minutes later. Here is how I found Sunny...a.k.a. Spongebob Nudeypants...

(I opted to go with the cleaner version so she wouldn't totally die that her bare butt was on the internet...I know she is only 2, but she might still care.)

It really is lucky for her that she is so stinking cute. She thought she was such a big girl for taking some initiative and flushing her poop. Silly me. I tried to scold her. She thought she would get a treat for putting her poop in the toilet.

I Give Good Blog

2006-02-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

The other night I was talking with some friends about blogs and how sometimes on blogs, for some reason people share a heck of a lot of information. Maybe it is the fact that they feel some anonymity, maybe it is because we think "Only these people read it...." and you never really know who might happen across your blog. I do it, you do it, we all do it. It is part of blogging. We all share details of our lives that may not always be brought up in conversation in the real world.

We were talking about a few blogs in particular that often made references to their, uh-hum, "personal" lives. In the conversation, my friend made an honest slip. What she meant to say was "I don't know if I would talk about giving my husband (I will replace for a cleaner version) some lovin". But what she accidentally said was "I don't know if I would talk about giving my husband blog".

And what a clever little mistake it was.

Many of the sites I have come across lately have offered blogging t-shirts to their readers. Some are really cute and clever, some are lame. None, though are as good as "I give good blog". So, if I can follow the bandwagon on blogging, why not on blogging shirts, too? I don't need you to buy shirts for a conference I want to go to, or my sick kids or anything. I am not even doing it to get your money at all, actually, I just think you should because it would be a sweet t-shirt*.

I wonder how much longer before blogging takes over the world. When blogging started, well atleast the earliest I knew of it starting, it was computer geeks and they would blog about a super cool thing they wrote in c# or something totally boring. Then people starting blogging things like, a poet would blog their poems, a photographer would blog their photos, chef's would blog recipes, etc... Now, everyone who is anyone blogs, and it seems like a lot of them are Mom's who just need to let it all out now and then. But as they have evolved, so have their entertainment level. Why do we love to read about someone else's bad day when we just had our own? Is it so we can know we weren't the only one who had a crazy day? Or is it so that we can see someone else is worse off? Whatever the reason, I am hooked.

Most of the people who read my blog have their own blog that I read also. So this one is for you guys.

You give good Blog.

*this website let's you customize the shirt. whatever style, color, size whatever!

All The Juicy Details

2006-02-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

I would like to start by saying that I have always thought "Dream on" was one of the best rock songs ever. Now that I have seen it live (woot!) I can say that HANDS DOWN it is THE best rock song...ever. Man, really good.

Our seats were good. They were kinda on the back of the stage but really close. They were perfect for me actually. It wasn't crowded and we could see everything perfectly. We could also see backsides perfectly. Plus we can say we were Backstage at the Lenny/Aerosmith concert!

First was Lenny Kravitz. That man is dead sexy. He was really good live. Near the end of his set, right before he pretended to be done the first time, he walked out into the crowd. I was jealous, and a little surprised. I didn't know they did that at concerts anymore. Sometimes it looked like he was out there scoping out which girls he wanted to have brought back to him, but other times it looked like Lenny Kravitz had actual healing powers. Like he would touch them and boom, they were healed. I know, I know, he doesn't actually have healing powers (unless you are Angela, in which case he could definitely heal her of any ailment) but it looked like that was what he was down there doing. You should have seen all the girls running down the stairs to get down there to him. So pathetic. He's just a man, ladies. (I would have but no stairs were easily accessible, little bitter we weren't down there...sniff...) He finished with "Are You Gonna Go My Way?". I will. Anytime, you want Lenny.

Then, ahhhhh, Aerosmith. They are getting old but they can still rock. I don't know how, either. After the first few songs we (all us young 30 year olds) were pooped. Dancing and screaming and stuff. Not only are they like 60 years old, but they have smoked for probably 55 of those years. The bassist though just stood there. I was really worried about him, he kept hunching over, lower and lower. I was certain he would finish the show with an oxygen mask. Also, no kicks. I was hopeful I would get atleast one. Maybe in Cryin', but I wouldn't want anyone to get hurt on my account. Steven and Joe had really fabulous hair, I was pretty jealous. Steven Tyler has a tattoo way low on his belly that said "LIK ME". Angela said, Maybe all he wants is for people to Like Him. I'll bet that's what he wants. During the show we saw on the side of the stage near the sound guys, these two drunk chicks. Like Courtney Love on her worst day. They were dancing (well, I wouldn't call it dancing, more like stumbling as gracefully as possible while stoned out of your head and totally wasted) all over some dude. Skinny little tweaker dude. We noticed it was Tommy Lee. He is nasty, but for for a Celebrity Junkie such as myself, I enjoyed seeing another famous rock star. Christy and I were looking down at him through binoculars, and I swear he was looking right at us. I was just going to turn to Ryan and make a joke about getting caught staring, when all of the sudden, he pointed to our group (again, not crowded where we were so we knew it actually was us) and lifted his shirt. Tommy Lee flashed us. Wish it would have been Lenny, but hey, we got flashed. He left with those girls. Ya know, he probably took them back to his hotel and totally demoralized them, just treated them worse than dog crap on the bottom of his shoe, and it will probably be the highlight of there life. Sad.

All in all, it was a good time. An excellent time. It was an awesome show. I woke up this morning feeling a few years younger. My ears were ringing and my feet were sore, just like when I was a teenager.

Aerosmith. Man. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Now. Now I have lived.

Rock on.

Party Like A Rock Star

2006-02-01T09:02:00.000-07:00

In my opinion, and let's be honest, my opinion matters, atleast once in your life you need to see Aerosmith in concert. They are legendary rock and roll. Tonight Ryan and I and 2 other couples are going to the Lenny Kravitz/Aerosmith concert. And I think it is going to be, like, totally rad.

I think part of my love for Aerosmith comes from the way they remind me of the 80's. And I Love the 80's more than VH1 does. And that is a lot. I love, love, love the 80's. Lame, some may think, but not me. I loved the movies ("Pretty in Pink", "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", "Some Kind Of Wonderful" I could go on for hours...careful too, because I just might...) I love the actors (Rob Lowe, Molly Ringwald, Michael Anthony Hall, again I could keep going....) I LOVE the music, you know the not real music, the computer generated, synthesizer music. Loved it. I also loved the Rock. Still do. Aerosmith among the top. So I am really excited.

I just don't know what to wear. It feels like I should wear big hair, tight jeans, ripped up t-shirt. Or maybe the other favored look of the 80's, My L.A. Gear high-tops, either leg warmers or 2 different colors of socks, super tight leggings with a gigantic sweatshirt or sweater over it. I am thinking I will go with tight jeans, maybe leather pants with some really bitchin' black boots over the pants, and a ripped up aerosmith t-shirt, still the big hair. Times may have changed, but Aerosmith hasn't so why should I? Actually, I have changed, don't have quite the figure I used to so I will probably pass on the tight apparel. Go with something a tiny bit more my age.

So bust out the big bangs and hairspray, because tonight I am going to have some Love In An Elevator with an American Woman...oh wait...

Jealous???

Who's Kids Are These?

2006-01-31T07:56:00.000-07:00

We relisted our house last Thursday with a new price and new incentives hoping to get some bites. Nothing through the whole weekend. Not one thing. Not even a phone call. I would like to thank all the California investors who decided to buy "investments" in Arizona and drive our market up so high that those of us who need to actually live here, can't. Atleast your "investments" aren't selling either, so now your stuck with them. Although don't even think about moving into your investment since it won't sell because I will egg it. Arizona used to have the best housing market. It was increasing enough that we were making money, more than usual, but not at such a rapid pace.

Anyway, I digress. Yesterday someone finally came to look. They showed up unannounced at our most insane time of day. 4:00 in the afternoon. I was going to start dinner, kids had just gotten home from school, snacks were still out, backpacks were still out, shoes and socks hadn't been put away yet, my older boys take everything off at the toilet when they come home and do there daily "after-school special" in my toilet, they were still there (the clothes, not the special). It wasn't horrible actually, I just prefer that if someone comes to look at my house it doesn't look as though 7 of us live here. Atleast they got to see what it would look like if they actually "lived" in the place.

Turns out that the phone number on the listing is wrong. Yes, wrong. So then when people decide to just drive to it to look, the directions, also wrong. Yes, wrong. It was 4:00 in the afternoon, they stop by unannounced, and catch me thankfully dressed, but without my Dr. Pepper that nurses me through such moments, and tell me everything on the listing is wrong. Is that why no one comes to look? Did I mention I also had a migraine? I had been throwing up, bloody noses, the whole bit and your going to tell me that my listing is wrong??? So I look up our first listing, the one that was out for about 2-3 months. Also wrong. This deserves a blog all its own, but I might get another bloody nose. I was pretty mad, those words I usually save for under my breathe even got their chance to shine.

So they walk in and my kids attack. "Do you guys want to come play football or Frisbee or something" and "I go potty in the toilet not on the floor" and "Oh man we have so many cats that come into our backyard" and "so are you going to buy our house?" and "You are the first people to come look at our house" and "I hope you guys buy our house because nobody wants it" it just kept coming. I thought about telling them I was babysitting for neighbors, but I had already used my 5 kids as an excuse for the stuff left out. I had them go in the backyard, but the people came to look back there so the comments just didn't stop. Looks like we forgot to coach them on such an occasion. Whoops.

Needless to say, they didn't stay too long. They said that they felt bad about stopping in and wanted to get out of my hair, but to be honest I think the kids scared them away. If they had stayed longer I would have had a chance to tell them about the Halfway House for Teen Aged girls down the street, or the frat house next door, or our Gypsy neighbors (yes, real gypsy's, I had no idea they existed anymore anywhere besides carnivals and stuff). Oh well, their loss.

But, Ya know something? I don't know how much longer I can hold out on seeing the Doctor with this house selling business. I guess it is time to find a new "Happy Place".

Priorities...

2006-01-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

I meant for this blog to be an outlet for my life at home. I am at home with 5 small children all day. I needed a place to let out some steam to an audience over 7 years old. A way of journal keeping. I meant to share funny stories about the crazy things my kids do each day. It seems as though this has changed direction though. It has almost become an ode to my beloved. The thing I love to hate and hate that I love. One Guess....If you guessed Dr. Pepper, then you are right. I have a blog entry written about....drumroll please....Dr. Pepper and I decided to hold off on posting it until tomorrow so today I could talk about something much cooler. My other addictions.

I have the best kids in the universe. I really do. I know that is a steep claim, but I can back it up. They are so much fun. Plus they are cool. They all love music. Passionate about it. They all have really great taste. I give them copies of the typical kids CD's and they are so not interested. Ethan prefers Punk Rock, more current, although he loves to bust out some Creedence and Led Zepplin every once in awhile. Tyler is more into Jack Johnson, Damien Rice the slower, folkier (is that a word?) sound, some Flogging Molly, but he loves the Doors, too. What other 5 year old can sing the Doors for you? Calvin loves ANYTHING. If there is any instruments in it, then that is his favorite. We were doing Karaoke the other night, his favorite song to do is "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister. When it was his turn he stood up and screamed into the microphone in true rockstar style, "Everybody shake your boooooooooottaaaaaaaay!!!!!" Sunny likes almost anything her brothers like. Plus a little Kelly Clarkson (not quite as proud of that one, I like her and all but...well atleast it isn't Britney or Christina or something).

Ethan is so helpful. No matter what he is doing, playing video games, watching a movie, anything, if I ask him for help he doesn't say a word of complaint, he gets right up and does it. And in fact, when he is done, he asks if there is anything else he can do to help before he gets back to what he was doing.

Tyler is much the same. But he also is so sweet and sensitive, he enjoys settling disputes. If Calvin and Sunny are fighting he likes to teach them to settle it with "nice words".

Calvin and Sunny make life more fun than it should ever be. They are so funny. Right now they are into the movie " The Little Rascals". Calvin serenades me with "You Are So Beautiful" everyday. Who else gets that from their 3 year old? He is AlfAlfa and Sunny is Darla. They can almost recite the whole movie together. Calvin has learned when to fit the lines into real life appropriately. This morning he got in trouble and he said "And then the clouds open up and God says I hate you alfalfa". They are so fun. So, So, fun.

Finn is the cutest baby. I can say that and not feel bad. He was my cutest newborn. All my kids had funny skin when they were born. Jaundiced and mottled. He was stinking cute from day 1. He has also been a little confused by the amount of action since he left the womb. He always looks at all of us like he is disgusted with the animals he was born into but he fits right in and he knows it. We call him King Kong. Because, well, he is gigantic. And he laughs just like King Kong. The part of the movie where he knocks down the girl and thinks it is so funny, that is exactly Finley. He has a jumperoo thing, it is like a swing base with an exersaucer seat and he has streched the cords out so bad. He jumps like crazy, we are waiting for it to detach and have him fly into the sky. Sometimes he bounces himself right to sleep. When he is in his carseat on the tile, he kicks his legs really hard and gets rocking so fast. Plus he is hairy, little fine but dark hair on his ears and back and booty. King Kong, That's my Finn.

Plus they all love each other. They are such an affectionate bunch. They snuggle together, they say I love you to each other all the time. Ethan and Tyler are 7 and 5 and when they walk their separate ways at school, they say, "See ya, Love you". It makes me proud how much they love each other, and how much they aren't afraid of showing it.

I love my kids. I often write about their disasters and messes. Crazy things they do or peeing themselves (which I think we have passed now, no accidents from anyone for a few days...). But the truth is, I am the luckiest Mom in the world. I often get comments from strangers about the number of children I have, I proudly say "Yes they are all mine" maybe it is a handful, but it is the best handful I know of.

Tomorrow we will be back to our regularly scheduled blogging. Silly, pointless, nothingness. But for today, just enjoy my kids.

It's An Epidemic

2006-01-27T20:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, Okay. So life has been crazy. Ryan got a new job. An extra geeky job. Probably his geekiest yet. We are really excited. However, from where we live currently, it will be about a 90 minute commute. Seems crazy. Maybe people make that kind of commute, but not people who have a wife at home with 5 small kids, a house that has to be "show-ready" at all times and has been waiting in the front window since noon. Not those people. There is no way we can add an extra 3 hours worth of driving onto our day and still have a sane wife/mom. I don't require complete sanity, in fact I like some insanity, but we are talking Marie Osmond get in the car and drive for 3 days crazy. That is what will happen. First chance I have to get out of the house I may never come back if he were forced to add 3 hours of driving onto his (my) day. There's nooooo way. So we are still selling the house. But we are going to move to the East Valley, which may also be hard, but better than an 11 hour work day.

So there is just one problem. We have been bit by a horrible bug. It is not like anything I have ever seen. I am certain that if it continues it may not cause as many deaths has like, the black plague, but it will atleast be the cause of losing my mind (and possibly even a few deaths....).Everyone at my house keeps wetting themselves. Pee everywhere (were you wondering???) . Every turn I take I step in something wet and stinky and sometimes, dry and sticky. What in the world has happened to my once potty trained children?!?!?!?! I know we have had some changes going on in our family, but to be honest life at this joint is always totally crazy. Ethan says our house is "whack". He is right. So why now? Are they punishing me? Is it a conspiracy? All 3 boys are in the same room, do they stay up at night scheming? Thinking up ways to help us not sell this house?

Ethan hasn't had an accident in, I don't know like, 5 years. He's had 2 this week. We were at McDonald's last night and we had to leave early, not because my 3 year old newly potty-trained child had an accident, but because Tyler did. And Calvin. Mercy. He pees right in front of the toilet for his accidents. Then, since he knows I am going to be less than thrilled, he takes it upon himself to clean it up. After he wipes it up, he hangs the towel back up. It dries and then after the bath, everyone stinks and has to get back in the shower. Guess what he does with the underwear and pants he peed in. He hides them. He hides them the way toddlers always hide things....really good. He sticks them back in the drawer under everything, so the entire drawer has to be rewashed. Or another favorite, his pillowcase. The pillow soaks it up real nice. Sunny took off her diaper 4 times this week. Once it was poopy, twice she took it off and peed on the carpet and once she actually took it off and peed in the toilet. Atleast someone did.

It's not just a mad world this week, it's also wet, stinky, yellow, and sticky when it's dry week.

The Juice

2006-01-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

Take the IV out of my arm, I will no longer need to be fed my Dr. Pepper through that pesky needle.

It has been 2 weeks since my ill-fated day with Dr. Pepper. You remember, the one where the Gods of the sacred juice rose up against me in an effort to save me. Conspiracy I tell you.

In that 2 weeks, I have had 2 cans of Dr. Pepper (a nice break from my daily intake of roughly 150 oz. a day, that is so embarrassing to admit...) 2 glasses at dinner, a small at peter piper, and glass of Diet Dr. Pepper with cherry and vanilla. I must have made such a dent in sales though at Sonic that they picked up Diet Dr. Pepper. So I got one there, a 32 oz. I haven't given it up completely, but I can admit when something has defeated me, and it had. No one is in charge of a single thing about me, you can ask Ryan he will vouch.

Hopefully I will shed a few Dr. Pepper pounds in the process, it only seems fair.

And you know, I thought I would hate giving it up much more than I have. In fact, I think my kids hate it worse, now when they sneak a swig of my drink all they get is water... I haven't even hated this whole thing, and I was certain I would. Sunny hates it a little. Okay, maybe a lot, the photo attached here is us, sharing something we have in common, our favorite friend, The Doctor. Ya know, some people have crack babies, I have Dr. pepper Babies. They come out of the womb with an addiction I already had lined up for them.

So cut me off, Bartender...I am driving tonight. Go me.

Tagged...I'm It

2006-01-18T16:54:00.000-07:00

So I got "tagged" by Becky and Alissa (who's blog's by the way are worth checking out, whether you are an XBOX junkie or a scrapbooker or anything in between, there is something for everyone). So here is my list....

Seven Things To Do Before I Die:

Own a Salon/spa
Travel, spending significant time in Europe
Take my young family back East
Be alone with Ryan
Lose this blasted baby weight
Read DaVinci Code (apparently I have not lived until I have done so)
Write a Book

Seven Things I Cannot Do:

Eat Peas or Tomatoes without dying
Have another baby
Enjoy Laundry
Go a day without swearing (in my head, under my breathe, honest I never say it out loud...that explanation is for you Mom...)
Enjoy Math
Go to Target without spending money...too much money...
Give up the Glorious Juice (Dr. Pepper). Completely.

Seven Things That Attract Me To My Spouse (In NO particular order):

His Legs, and he is Hot, hot, hot
His brains
His ability to be serious and so much fun
He is so not macho
His inner child (that often is out)
His strong spirit
His ambition
He spoils me totally rotten (was that eight, ooops....)

Seven Things That I Write (Or Say) Most Often:

(is this under my breath or out loud?)

Do you need to go potty?
Pick up that mess
Quiet Guys
Crap
Crazy bout ya
Dr. Pepper
I Love You

Seven Books I Love:

Scriptures
People Magazine (I know, not an actual book, who is writing this anyway??)
US Weekly
Domino Magazine
Do It Yourself Magazine (Seriously though, who has time for actual books?)
Harry Potter, Everyone of them
The Back of Hair Product Bottles

Seven Movies I Could Watch Over And Over Again:

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Never Been Kissed
Breakfast At Tiffany's
Any Harry Potter
Any Lord Of The Rings
The Usual Suspects
Anything with Will Ferrell , Vince Vaughn or Kevin Spacey
Oh man, I love movies I could create 7 more lists of 7

Seven People I Want To Join In:

Ryan
Angela
Onica
Steph
Musical Mom
Amber
Les
Sunny

Who is Martin Luther King anyway???

2006-01-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

Happy MLK Day.

Today I reminisced about last years MLK Day. Ethan had been studying it all month in 1st grade. So when the big day finally arrived Tyler asked why he wasn't going to school. The conversation went a little something like this...

Tyler: Why are you staying home today?

Ethan: Tyler, don't you know it is Doctor Martin Luther King Junior Day? Gosh...

Tyler: Do we get presents?

Ethan: Oh Tyler, no we don't....do we Mom?

Mom: NO!!!

Tyler: What is it?

Ethan: Doctor Martin Luther King Junior was a Doctor. Who had dreams. Black kids weren't allowed to do stuff like play on the playground at McDonalds, or ride in the car to school. They couldn't even drink water...

Mom: Out of the same drinking fountain as white kids, they were indeed allowed to have water though...

Ethan: Yeah. So then Doctor Martin Luther King Junior had this dream. And he made it so black kids and white kids were all friends...

Tyler: Oh, that's so nice...

Ethan: But then he went to see a play, he sat in the balcony and some guy came in and shot him. Dead.

So close, Ethan, yet so far away....

Come Out, Come Out Wherever you are!!!

2006-01-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

Apparently it is National de-lurking week. So if you frequent someone's blog you are supposed to show yourself.

Is it really though? Or did some guy, probably some guy like my husband, sitting around at work plant a little seed??? He could have started a little rumor and now he is sitting back checking random people and their blogs laughing that we all fell for such a silly campaign as "National De-Lurking Week".

Either way...Show your pretty faces...

And if not for me, do it for the greater good. Do it for America...Whatever...

So it's official....

2006-01-11T15:18:00.000-07:00

Brad and Angelina (a.k.a. Brangelina) are having a baby. So what am I saying here??? Am I saying "It's Official, they are pregnant!" or am I really saying..."It's Official, I am a pathetic hollywood gossip junkie who actually cares, but doesn't really care"? Either way, it's official.

I think it is funny though, how she normally wears tight clothes and all of the sudden is wearing big huge baggy clothes. It is obvious, and for months the media is breaking the news. And they keep denying it. Why do celebrities do that??? If I got pregnant again...which is completely impossible...but if I could, just for fun I think I would deny it. When my parents or friends or siblings asked I would say "No, that is completely false...that is a rumor". Clear up until I am getting my epidural "No, I don't know what would make you believe such lies...". Or like Nick and Jessica. If Ryan and I ever split...which is also completely impossible.... I think it would be funny to live in different houses and be seen crying or seen with everyone but him and when people ask just reply "No, we have never been happier...". Whatever. And please again, why do I care? Why do I waste my time reading People Magazine or US Weekly??? because deep down I really do care. I have a friend that once said that deep down she secretly (or maybe now, not so secretly...) wished she were famous, so there...I am not the only one. Question is for what? Really you can be famous for anything now days....or famous for nothing for that matter. So I told my husband maybe someday I could be a celebrity gossip columnist. That would be so fabulous. If I can't be one of them I can sure as heck write about them... Maybe someday I will do hair for the stars. That will be my niche, then someday I will sell what they tell me in a tell-all book...No, now I am just being silly.

So there you have it. Angelina's dirty little secret is out....and so is mine! It is official. She is pregnant and I am pathetic.

Can't live with 'em....and they are bigger than me so I can't do much of anything...

2006-01-09T09:55:00.000-07:00

Brothers. I have four of them. Three are older than me and one is younger. Cory, Ryan, Brett and Chad. Something neat happened for one of them this weekend that made me sit and think about my 4 brothers. And how lucky I am to have them.

They are all very handsome. Growing up it was often hard to tell which of my friends liked me and which of them liked me for my brothers. I didn't mind. Because it all worked out fair. I had cute brothers and my brothers had cute friends. Not a bum deal for a teen-aged girl.

The following memories may not be entirely accurate, I was young. Lest we forget that I was the child that told everyone my Dad broke my arm (not true, I don't know the whole story but for all I know it was sprained and he was out of town...) or that the house we lived in when I was born, in Sugar House Park, burnt down and that was why we moved to Riverton (truly though, I was the 5th child, our Sugar House Park home was teeny-tiny and we needed a bigger place). I have inherited a little family trait I like to call the "Grandma Char Memory". We remember things the way we want to. They are, afterall my memories. So I will chose which details I would like to hang on to and which ones seem unnecessary. So, I try to not exaggerate the stories, but the details have become hazy since the time I was a child.

Cory is the oldest in the family. He used to make us tell him how great he was. He still kinda does. He liked to pull down our pants. When he would walk by us girls, or anyone for that matter, he would just really quickly "pants" us (or was it "de-pants"???). We would cry and cry, "Mom, Cory pulled down my pants". When we got older it got a little bit more annoying...but we would walk by him or stand in the vicinity hoping he would still give us that attention...I remember one time when he was pretty fresh off his mission, he was standing in the hallway reading something. He was near impossible to get, in fact when you moved in for the pull, he ALWAYS would beat me to it. Anyway, I snuck up and got him. One of my proudest moments. I successfully de-pantsed the de-pantsing KING. You know the reaction I got from him...nothing. He stood there and finished reading his paper with his pants around his ankles.

Ryan used to tell me stories. When I was a kid, I wanted long hair so bad, I would wear towels around the house, or t-shirts on my head. Ryan told me if I washed my hair in the toilet it would grow. I think all three of them may have been in on this one. I did it. And cried to my mom when it didn't work. She told me they were joking. I got in trouble for putting my hair in the toilet. Then Ryan asked if I flushed it. I didn't want to get in trouble, so I went in the bathroom quietly and put my head in the toilet and flushed it. I gave myself a swirly...takes a real genius to do that... alas, my hair did not change at all, it was just wet and I was a little embarrassed. He also told me once that if I put a drop of water on a compass it would turn into a cupcake. It wouldn't look like one but it would be one. I did it and it wasn't.

Brett used to walk into the room and start counting to 10, we would scramble because we knew that when he counted down from 10 to 1 if we hadn't sufficiently told him how awesome he was we would get slapped. So he would walk in and say "10, 9, 8" and we would duck and cover and scream "your the coolest, in the world, most awesome and greatest ever..." everything we could think of lest we would get flicked. He did this thing where he would flick us...hard...I can't even describe it without a welt popping up. He made up songs for Chad and I to sing. One of them was to the tune of a pizza hut commercial..."B-R-E-T-T Farley, B-R-E-T-T Farley, B-R-E-T-T Farley for Brett Farley Deliveries" or "Brett delivers, Brett delivers, Brett Delivers for you". He was a fun big brother. He was the closest in age of the older brothers so I spent more time around him. There is a story about Brett squishing the roll of a little boy during lunch at school because he was bugging my sister Katie. He was a good guy. Still is...

Chad was younger than me. We fought a lot. I made him kiss a girl once. I even stood right there. I can't remember if he finally did it or not, but I had fun trying to get him to. I used to sit next to him and scream "Mom!!!" and then I would smack Chad and just as my Mom turn to look he was hitting me back. "Chad, don't hit girls" my Mom would say. Bwahahahaha..... He is really smart, all my brothers are. But Chad is Brain Surgeon Smart. Literally. He is in school right now to be a brain surgeon. When we would be driving to Utah he would spend hours telling us how the Grand Canyon was formed. Or why the sky was blue...

I love my brothers. I loved that they teased me. If I may bring it down for just a second... I have such respect for each of them I look at them in their lives, in their families and in relationships, with their wives or friends, I see them in church callings and I am really proud of them And really proud to be their sister. Where I live, everyone knows my family. I am always Cory, Ryan, Brett or Chad's sister. And sometimes it is more fun to be known as their sister than to just be Linsey. I am grateful to be associated with such good guys.

Okay...enough of that...See ya round like a doughnut....

It's Official, The End Is Near...

2006-01-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

If you haven't noticed in my previous posts, I love Dr. Pepper. I love my my husband and kids, the rest of my family, and Dr. Pepper.

Yesterday I made my daily Sonic run and When I took a drink, it was not my Route 44 Cherry-Vanilla Dr. Pepper. It was Cherry-Vanilla Rootbeer. Now, what am I supposed to do with that? Today at lunch we went to a pizza place, again my Dr. Pepper was a rootbeer. So I tried again, we were at the Zoo today and I ordered a Dr. Pepper that turned out to be Coke. So still having not satisfied my Dr. Pepper needs for the day, I stopped on our way home from the Zoo at Sonic. Don't those people know me yet??? Have I ever in the year they have been open ordered anything but my Route 44 cherry-vanilla Dr. Pepper? No, I haven't. But today I got Cherry-Vanilla Coke. Diet I think. Blech.

I believe that the Dr. Pepper Gods are joining forces and rising up against me. They seem to think it is time for an intervention. Slow me down, possibly even cut me off.

It may help with the whole shed a few pounds goal, I know this. But will it help my sanity?

So, maybe it is time to start weaning. Just remember people, I said the end was NEAR, I didn't actually say it had arrived yet.

I have been lazy for far too long...

2006-01-04T20:44:00.000-07:00

For Christmas my Mom and Dad and Ryan's Mom and Dad gave us our favorite kind of present. MONEY. So did both of our Grandpa's. This year we didn't use it to recover from overspending on Christmas. We didn't buy groceries, diapers or even toilet paper. We spent it on.....Me. And it was fun.

One thing we bought is WICKED tickets. I am so excited. So, so excited. I have a slight obsession with Broadway. I mean, it isn't too bad of an obsession. Ryan might be irritated that when we talk, everything is put to music. Or if he says something I almost always have a line from a song I could respond with. I mean so what, doesn't everyone just burst out in to song sometimes? Happy? There is a song for it. Sad? An even better song is waiting. In love? Oh, there is a great one for that. Mad? Do you Loath someone? There is a song for everything. Everything. Do you rent your living space, because broadway even has that covered. And I love it. In all honesty though, Ryan loves it just as much. Wanna know a secret? When he gets in his car with co-workers he has to hurry and change the CD sometimes so they won't know he listens to"Rent". We are really excited for the Musical though. So excited I could burst out into a song...

As I mentioned before, one of my elephants is to get in shape. So the other thing I bought, hu-hum, we bought, is a new bike and a bike trailer/stroller for me. I am really excited. So we put it together tonight and I took Calvin and Sunny for a walk around the block. The entire walk I racked my brain trying to figure out when the last time was I walked for exercise. I mean sometimes I run after Sunny, chasing her because she found a marker or a pair of scissors. We walk around the mall or the zoo and I often pick up speed to a slow jog trying to catch Calvin because he ran ahead of me and jumped on an elevator or something. That all hurts my body a little. But for some reason, when I know I am doing it for NO REASON other than exercise, it is so much harder. I cramp, I can't catch my breath, I am dripping sweat (I Know, I know, you are saying to yourself "she said walking right, she just went for a short walk?" Yes, yes I did. And it was painful).

I have not exercised for a very long time. A very long time. And I have been out of commission for far too long. Every ounce of fast food was saying neener-neener-neener tonight. When I was younger I had these really sweet leg-warmers and a matching sweatband and wristbands. It was the brand "Get In Shape Girl" from the early 80's. They were magical. If I remember correctly I had tons of energy when I put those on my 7 year old body. Where are they now?

I am out of shape in a bad way. This elephant is bigger than I thought...

Get Your Kicks In 2006....

2006-01-02T15:54:00.000-07:00

Ahhh...New Years Resolution time. Oh, how I hate thee.....I am forced to look at all of the negative in my life and vow to change it and then beat myself up about it 1 year later when I have not accomplished all that I set out to do. Granted I may set the bar a little high, but usually I don't come close.

We were at dinner the other night with some friends and they mentioned a rather genius idea. Instead of setting new goals that you probably aren't going to do anyway, (for example every year I vow to stop drinking Dr. Pepper. This probably won't happen and I am okay with that. I like Dr. Pepper, I am not sure I want to give it up) let's just go crazy and blow the whole "New Year's Resolution" idea out of the water. Let's start something new. Right now, for the New Year I vow to find a new vice. Sounds good right? It definitely seems easier. I KNOW I could look back in 1 year from now and have kept each and every one of those new vices. My entire life my family has come up with a theme when we set goals. We set them as a family and individually. So going along with the "new year, new vices" theme we could do "Get Your Kicks In 2006" (it is mandatory that the theme rhyme...or atleast sound like it rhymes to a child). Atleast I won't be disappointed in myself at the end of 2006, right? I mean, I think I would do okay.

In all honesty though, I do like making goals. Rarely do I meet them as fully as I intend to, but that is just sort of part of being Linsey. A part that I am okay with. I will set goals. One goal for example could be to care less what others think of me, you know not do things to look good to others or something to that effect. But since that is a new goal, I haven't accomplished it yet. And I do indeed care what others think, so if I tell you my goals I will feel a certain obligation to follow through. If by the end of 2006 I haven't lost a pound you may say "but you said on your blog...". Now I know none of you would say that but you get the point.

Without further ado...

Elephants in 2006

(why elephants you ask? I didn't like anything that rhymed...and keep reading, you will understand)

Get Skinny (Thanks to my sweet Dad, I think I may FINALLY accomplish this one this year) I have set this goal every year since I had Ethan, my oldest. But here I am. No more babies and I am ready. I don't just want people to say "Wow you look great for having 5 kids" I just want them to say "Wow you look great (period)".
Get Healthy
Be more productive, time-management. I think I was around 7 the first time I wrote this one. Maybe this is the year..
Exercise. I would like to be much more active.
Finish the BOM. please, oh please let this be my year...finally
See atleast 1 new year resolution through... to the very end.

I have plenty more but that's all you get, I can't have this blog getting too serious....

A few days ago, someone was talking about new year resolutions and goal setting and stuff. He said "Remember if you sit down to eat an elephant, you cant eat it all in one bite, cut off one small piece at a time". At first I thought, what a silly analogy. But it works. It is an easy way of reminding myself to not get caught up in the "Whole elephant". The whole baby steps idea, just a little stranger.

I love the new year. It gives me a moment to reflect on all that I have already accomplished. Their names are Ethan, Tyler, Calvin, Sunny and Finley. They are really good people. And they are my greatest accomplishments.

Good Luck to each of you this year...I hope you eat your entire elephant.

***DISCLAIMER: No elephants were harmed in my goal setting this year***

Where is the Holiday Love???

2005-12-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

I did it. Christmas was today and I pulled it off. I put most things off as long as possible and pulled through in crunch time. I shopped my guts out this week. With all 5 monkeys in tow no less. I spent a lot of money. A lot. I spent a ton of time. I wrapped more than I have ever wrapped before. Five kids makes for loads of presents under the tree. I stayed up late putting drum sets and other toys together. Me. I did it. Well, Ryan and I.

So we wake up this morning. I see the kids run out looking like they might faint from all the beautifully wrapped gifts (they really were well wrapped) and the stuff laid out unwrapped from Santa. They were so excited. All my hard, really really hard work had paid off....right?

I mean it was great to see them so happy. But here is my problem. Santa. Yeah, you heard that right, Santa is a big jolly problem. We hear stories of the glorious Santa, the one who has the elves working like dang slaves all year round, those elves, if they were real, should get all the credit. But in kidland they get no credit. Even the kids who believe wholeheartedly don't thank the elves, they thank Santa. For what though, if you ask me, Santa seems a little bit lazy. He sits around eats the cookies, but takes ALL the credit. But WHO bought all the presents? Who stayed up all night putting them together? Who paid cold, hard cash for it all (we actually did this year, no debt whatsoever from Christmas...woot)? I had no elves here hard at work. Who wrapped it? Who? Me, that's who(and again, Ryan helped tons). But seriously. All day it is like, "Thank you, thank you, thank you Santa" and "Santa Rocks". We give the biggest and best present unwrapped in the "Santa" pile, so as far as the kids think, we gave them cool stuff but Santa, oh man that Santa, he really rocked it this Christmas. I almost wanted to ruin the magic and tell them who really was behind it. I never would, but seriously, where is the love?

So, I know, I know, it is all part of the game. It just doesn't seem fair. Worth it, but not all that fair....Or is it just me? I promise I am not bitter. But next year the socks and underwear are going in the Santa pile, and the Gameboys? They are going under the tree with a tag that says "Love, Mom and Dad"

Merry Christmas...

That cannot be good for business....

2005-12-19T11:12:00.000-07:00

Just a quick thought that has nothing to do with much of anything....But first of all I should say that I got my nails done this weekend! Yay for fake nails! I love getting my nails done. However, I cannot type with fake fingernails, so I will apologize first thing for all the typos I am certain I will overlook before I push "publish". Plus, proofreading is an extra step that I sometimes get overly-anxious to do. Whatdya gonna do?

So here is the part about "nothing to do with anything..." This morning I made my way through my fairly regular routine. I woke up, a little late. I changed bums, feed Finn a bottle, cleaned up a few "Sunny Messes", gave the kids a PB & J (yep, that is what they love for breakfast, and if they'll eat it, I'll make it!), and then against all the brains in my body (the amount of which has seemed to decrease with each child) I load up all 5 of my kids into the car. Why? Because that is my morning routine. I cannot start a day (or finish it for that matter) without a "Route 44 cherry/vanilla Dr. Pepper" from Sonic. I know it is a terrible habit. I can't for the life of me figure out why I am having trouble losing this baby weight. Although, it probably is no longer fair to call it "baby weight" I think I will call it "Sonic weight" or maybe "Dr. Weight" that's good, I like Dr. weight. Anyway, very little of my morning routine is set in stone. Actually most of it changes quite a bit. But the Sonic run, never do we stray from that. I may not change a bum first thing, but we do not miss a run to sonic before 10:00 am. Kidding, I always change bums first.

So sonic is not far away, maybe 2 miles. In the 2 miles this fine morning I was cut off. 5 times. I was cut-off in traffic 5 times. I don't drive slow. My herovan may seem like she doesn't have much in her, but that girl can move. I don't cut people off. I don't do anything to them. That I am aware of... But I felt like 5 times in a 5 mile stretch was a little crazy. Don't worry, I gave them an earful. Kinda quietly though so the kids wouldn't hear, but I am certain those drivers saw my mouth moving in their rearview mirror.

All 5 cars had a giant advertisement on their vehicle. Some had a magnet on the side of their car. Some had words on their back window. It seems like the types of companies that advertise on their car are typically start-up businesses. The husband started up a pest control business for example and the wife thought, "I am in my car all day I will advertise for you". Good enough idea, unless you have road rage. I will tell you what, I read each of those signs as they flew by me and I am just that girl that will remember what those companies were. I may not remember what I did last night but I will remember those. And I certainly wont call them. I wont call them for my landscaping needs, or my pest control needs, or my house cleaning needs or my other landscaping needs, or my thermal needs, whatever that is.

Just seems bad for business, if you ask me (I realize you didn't and I apologize for that).

I would appreciate a card...

2005-12-16T19:46:00.000-07:00

Tyler has spent the last couple of days pretty sick. He has had a fever, he has thrown up, he has just been feeling really crummy. We have given him a lot of extra attention, because it is fun to do when your baby is sick.

Tonight we were in the car and Tyler said, very matter of factly, "Mom, Dad, I would appreciate it if you guys gave me a card". Ryan and I looked at each other and said "huh?!?". What did he just say he would appreciate? A car? A what? He said "No, a Card because I am sick". Well, okay. One "get well soon" card coming right up. We thought it was so funny, not to mention pretty dang cute, how he just thought, I am sick, someone give me a card and I will appreciate it.

So if that is how it works, and it really is that easy. Here is a small list of things I would "Appreciate".

I would appreciate:

Someone to clean my house for me.
Someone to do my laundry.
Someone to do my grocery shopping.
Someone to wash and style my hair everyday.
Someone to cook all my meals.
A bigger house.
A lot of expensive jewelry.
A brand new salon of my very own.
A Rangerover.
A card (it seems appropriate...).
A pile of money.
Someone to do all the things I have been putting off for the last month or so...
A chauffeur.
And while we are at it, someone can wipe my bottom after I go to the bathroom.

These are all things I would appreciate. Wouldn't you?

I suppose a card isn't asking for much. It just struck me as REALLY funny that he would just come right out with it like that. Just a funny concept. "Here's what I would like, I would appreciate it if you did it".

So I don't really want all those things (well I don't really want someone to wipe my bum, I will take all the other stuff....And I would be really appreciative of whoever got it for me...). But Tyler is on to something, a little card or something of the sort is easy to appreciate.

What I appreciate is a little child (5 of them actually) that help me to remember how much something as little and sweet as card can help a little dude go a long way. They help me remember how important the "small stuff" is. I appreciate that.

Plus, when did he learn the word appreciate anyway?

P.S. You can mail your cards to Tyler at the following address.....No, not really.

The Lesson I am taught every Christmas but forget every New Year...

2005-12-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

Hi, My name is Linsey and I am a procrastinator.

I wish that was all I had to say on the subject, but alas, it is not. Maybe I will wait until tomorrow to say it all though (ha, ha, I know I am so funny, somebody stop me before I hurt myself).

Every Christmas. Every single year (plus every day in between Christmas'). I put things off. I put off putting up Christmas decorations. I put off Christmas shopping. I put off making things for friends and neighbors (yes those are 2 separate groups. I am cordial to our neighbors, but no, we are not really friends, just neighbors. I live on Crazy Street, whole other blog). I put off eating healthy. I put off exercising (who am I really kidding though, I put those last 2 things off all year round). I put off everything I can think of putting off simply because I have an excuse to put things off. What? It's the holidays, I am too busy for all that. I even put off putting gas in the car, until I am at the point of being forced to put gas in. Ya know, the point where you are sitting stranded on the side of the road with 3 of your 5 kids while a 4th kid who is sitting in the school nurses office with a fever of 103 waits. Patiently...ish. And my excuse, "Oh the holidays are just so busy, I don't have time to do it". Really? No time? What am I so busy doing? I know it's not anything important, like shopping, decorating, holiday things. No, it's not because those are the things I have conscientiously put off. So really I am too busy doing nothing to get anything done. You know, I am way too busy procrastinating. Not to mention I am wasting time telling you about how I procrastinate. Vicious cycle. That my friends is truly the definition of procrastinating. Or is that the definition of Lazy? I forget sometimes....so confusing....

I love to shop on the day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday. Man, I wish I would have started this Blog before Thanksgiving. I could have done some really serious posts about Black Friday. Oh, how I love thee Black Friday....oh wait, that is not what we re talking about here. Anyway, I get a lot done that day. Then, I am not sure. Maybe I get so pleased with myself that I got anything done at all for Christmas and almost a month early that I decide to sit back and relax. Enjoy the joyful holiday season. Then, one night about 10 days before Christmas, I lay down to sleep. I am jolted awake by a sick and painful feeling in my stomach. I realize that I spent the day shopping. 10 days before Christmas, and the only person I bought for is me (wait that's not procrastination or lazy, that is just selfish. I am really beginning to spiral here). And Christmas is getting here, FAST and I am not ready. I have so much left to do. So many things left to buy. So many treats left to bake (right, because I "bake treats" every year. What I meant to say was I have so many "home made" treats from Costco that I have to repackage. Make them look as though I had something to do with preparing them). So much to do. It is the stocking stuffers that really get me. By the time I go get stocking stuffers there is nothing left at the store. Not even toothbrushes. Ya know, when I was young my Mom had made really cute stockings for everyone. We dont even have "official" stockings. I usually go buy some cheap ones a few days before Christmas. SO pathetic, huh? Last year Calvin and Sunny got a roll of scotch tape, we had some left over from wrapping presents. Turned out though, it was one of their FAVORITE toys. They get up in the morning and find there socks. An orange in the toe (not 1 of my kids likes oranges. Not 1. It is just ingrained in me that every toe must have an orange?!?!), a can of soda, all of my favorite candy (dangit, again with the selfish!), a guy, whichever one was available at 3:00 on Christmas Eve, and the newest tradition, a roll of scotch tape. Let's just say that we don't dwell long on the stockings we move along quickly to the "real" presents.

So this year, I vow to not procrastinate. And trust me, waiting until 1 week before Christmas is NOT procrastinating for me. That is being prepared way ahead of time. Like RECORD time.

Ask me about 3 days before Christmas if I am ready. Either I have vowed to change and form more positive and effective habits or I am the same lazy, procrastinating fool I always have been. But I am okay with that. Isn't the first step admitting it? And then recognizing it? And then changing it? Well, 2 out of 3 isn't that bad!

It's a Mad holiday season! Merry Christmas!

Today's Forecast...Sunny

2005-12-13T00:20:00.000-07:00

What a relief! Today we took Sunny to the Cardiologist. We were there about 3 1/2 months ago and her Doctor wasn't pleased. He said that the amount of pressure in her heart had increased to a fairly high amount. He expected today to not find good news. He was pleasantly surprised, as were we!!!

Everything is stable with her pulmonary artery, and in fact there was even some improvement. He had some concern of muscle build-up on the right side of her heart because it has to work a little harder, but that was good as well.

He said that surgery at some point isn't ruled out, but for now we continue to watch. Also, he mentioned that it could pose a problem as she grows and becomes more active (what, she could actually get more active???) if she were to do sports or something, but we can address it then.

So all in all, it was really good news.

He mentioned to continue watching for things such as:

Fatigue...no such luck for us there. The girl NEVER rests.
Shortness of Breath...wouldn't know, she doesnt stop moving long enough to notice
Mainly just tiring easily. We are grateful for a healthy heart, but wouldn't mind if she tired. It wouldn't even have to be easily, just EVER tiring would work for me.

Ryan said he had a feeling that would be the diagnosis today. She is just such an active, healthy girl. Did I mention that she is active?

We love our little Sunshine girl. She is stubborn, strongminded, independant, bossy and a little snotty (where in the world does she get that? Definately NOT from her Mom). But she is also so sweet, loving, sensitive and caring (I definately know where she gets that stuff from. Me, of course!) No one can even sneeze in this house without Sunny giving a hug and making sure they are "Otay". She adds such a great dynamic to this family. We are so happy she is in our family and so extremely happy that she is healthy. And we are also lucky to have friends and family that care so much for her and our family. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. We know they helped. We love you all.

Not such a mad world today....pretty peaceful.

Where my boys at???

2005-12-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

So let me introduce you to a few of the coolest dudes around. I love my boys. I love having so many of them. When our family started, I had three boys in a row and everyone felt the need to apologize to me or feel pity for me that I only had boys. Are you kidding??? Boys are so fabulous. I love going to games. I love dirt. I love bugs. I love power rangers and star wars. I just love boys, I have my whole life. I married Ryan because while, yes he is a man, he is also such a young boy.

So up first is Ethan. Ethan is 7 1/2 and just a smart little stinker. He is starting to figure things out. His jokes are getting funnier. He's out of that stage where a child says "mom, watch me, watch me" and then hits themselves in the face and they think they should be on an HBO comedy special for that fabulous and hilarious little trick. You know the one, all your kids have done it. He is so fun to just hang out with. He was tested at school and they told me that he reads at the 7th Grade level. Unfortunately they also told him. So now anytime I ask him to do anything, from picking up toys to writing his name on his homework this is what I get...."Mom, please I read better than 7th graders". Great, just what one of our kids needs is a little more ego. Heaven knows this family is not in short supply :) . He reminds me a lot of my oldest brother, Cory. Always networking, knows everyone. And the dimples, he gets those from his Uncle Cory. He wants to grow up to be like Cory. He says "ya know own stuff so people give me their money". Nice. Our little Alex P. Keaton. Way to go Ethan, make me rich. Oh, wait.... When he was younger he used to say he wanted to buy a Target. He mentioned that he has seen how much money I give Target. He said "then I could turn my $7.00 into like, atleast $13.00" Do it Ethan, I know you can. And then give me a discount at Target!

Tyler. Ah, sweet Tyler. He is 5 1/2. Such a tender and loving boy. He often plays a little naive or dumb, because he has found humor in it. He knows he can make people laugh by saying totally random and silly things. He loves quoting movies and has Ryan's gift for knowing just where to use them. He is also really smart, I think so most of the time....then he throws out a "watch me Mom" trick (then runs head first into the wall, yep, totally hilarious). His aspirations for the future differ a little from Ethan's. He is famous for what he hopes to be someday. One day Ethan was telling us how cool it would be to grow up and be an astronaut, discover new planets and name them and explore them. Then Tyler says "When I grow up I want to be a Bear". (What? Again, the whole random thing). He said it for awhile, until we reminded him he couldn't grow up to be a bear. He said "I've changed my mind. When I grow up I wanna be a dollar" I asked him if he meant something along the lines of earning a dollar. Nope, just a dollar. He has wanted to be that for awhile. Recently Ethan reminded him that just being a dollar wouldn't pay the bills. He said "Fine, I'll be an ice cream man". So that is where we are at. A Target owner and an ice cream man. Maybe Ethan will need someone to sell ice cream at one of his many money making empires. He is so cool. Random, but that is something we LOVE about him. He really lightens the mood around here. He is just always so stinking happy.

Calvin. A.k.a. "Doobies". He is 3. And he is one cool dude. In our family, he's the one that is most likely to be a professional athlete. He is incredibly athletic. It is amazing. He can throw, hit, kick, anything.And really well. And he LOVES sports. It kills him to go watch his big brothers play all their various sports and not get to join in. He is just a natural. He also has a pretty good shot at growing up to be a rockstar. No joke. He loves music, and again, is a natural. He has an amazing ear for music. I can play songs and he will tell me by the sound of the music if it is happy or sad or what. He sings really well. Some of his favorites to sing are "We will rock you", anything by the Killers (his personal favorite), actually just about anything. His favorite movie is Napoleon Dynamite, and he can quote almost the entire movie. Here is how one of our recent conversations went:
Me: Doobies, what's your favorite animal?
Cal: Hmm...I guess I would have to say a sheep. (What? Why?) I like to comb their hair.
Me: Okay, interesting. What is your favorite color.
Cal: (no hesitation) Oh, for sure a turtle. (Cal, that isn't a color, do you mean green) No, can we just go to the next question?
Me: Sure, What is your favorite food?
Cal: Mom, I don't want to play this game anymore. It is just too hard.

Well, Calvin, if you think "what's your favorite food" is tough, Gear up man, it's gonna be a tough ride.

Then, Finley. Sweet Finn. He is 5 months old. I can't believe it. I don't think he can believe it either. I am certain he took one look at this crazy, chaotic world that is the Jameson family and wanted to high tail it back into the womb. He is so happy. Always grinning. Also always has a look of complete and utter confusion on his face. Like I said before he is stinking cute but just trying to figure out what the heck is going on. I was devastated (keep in mind I tend to be a little dramatic, tells a better story later :) ) when I found out we were expecting him. Ryan was about to go in to get fixed, so we could prevent having anymore monkeys, not to mention we were using protection. Some protection that was! What exactly was that condom "protecting" us from. Isn't its sole responsibility to protect us from getting pregnant? Well, whatever. He has turned out to be, hands down, the best thing ever. He totally belongs here, with this group of nutballs. He is so great.

So that is 4 of the reasons that it is just a mad, mad, really mad world. But, aint it great?

I'm so glad when Daddy comes home...

2005-12-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

Ryan left for work this morning a little earlier than usual. He left at 7:00. I know, I know that is really early. Atleast he doesn't do it often! He usually leaves at 8:00 because that is when the boys go to school, so he takes them on his way to work. So it is a rare occasion that he leaves early and I am left getting the kids to school on time. Thank Goodness. Because every single time I have to get them to school, they are late. By two hours. Everytime. I am a bad Mom. I went into the office today and the front desk lady said "oops, Dad must be gone today". Yes , yes he is. And they are lucky I even bring them at all. So there.

So by around, I don't know, maybe noon, we were waiting. Me, Calvin, Sunny and Finn. Like the bored little kids in "The Cat and the Hat". We sat in the window as if Dad were going to pull up any minute. He didn't, of course. But we all hoped he would. Especially me. We went and picked the kids up from school (late for that as well, Calvin had to go poop in his underwear....) and as soon as we got home, they too, sat in the window. What is it with Friday. Dad's shouldn't have to work on Friday. Why, just because it's Friday! I was so excited my day was nearing an end when I started dinner. YAHOO!!! I made dinner and as we ate I realized it was 4:30. Only about 1.5-2 hours earlier than our normal dinner time. Crap. Now what am I going to do with my 5 kids for another 2 hours?

I had a brilliant idea. I suggested we go wait for Dad. A little early, but I thought, perhaps he would get here a bit sooner, ya know, since it was Friday. So we sat in the doorway. Those cute kids ended up sitting there for an hour and a half. Jumping up and down at every car that came our way. Until finally Daddy pulled up. I escaped to my room, he wrestled with kids and changed the poopy diapers I left for him (What? I didn't know they were poopy). They were so happy to have him home. But not nearly as happy as me....

Ahhh, yes it is Friday.

All Aboard The Potty Train...

2005-12-08T15:15:00.000-07:00

Man, the thing about this blogging business is that I will never run out of things to blog about. You know why? When I come in the office to write my blog, it gives my children an amount of freedom they are not capable of handling. So as long as I neglect my kids for a moment of peace, quiet (a little too quiet, should have been a clue) and a little blogging, they will continue to do crazy things for me to blog about. Like Sunny for example who chose the opportunity to make applesauce art on my floor. Or Calvin who used his time wisely, by peeing on his sister. Yes, that's right, peeing on his sister. Worse part is I interrupted it while Sunny was laughing saying "Splash me again, Doobies". So I was destined to finish my blog at a later date...

Now, is that later date. Sunny is sleeping. Ahhhh, what a moment it is in my day when my busy little girl decides to stop and rest. It is sweet. The best part about Sunny falling asleep is how excited she is to see me when she wakes up. We have a moment of cuddling, just a moment, and just hanging out. Just the two of us. She is so dang cute. Makes all her mischief okay.

I decided this week that Calvin and Sunny are ready to jump on the potty train. Sometimes before we go out to run errands, I tell Calvin that I wish he would poop before we left so that we won't have to stop and change his bum. He responds with "Mom, Your crazy. I can poop whenever I want because I am wearing a diaper". That was a clue. Second clue was when I found Sunny's diaper on the floor, but she was nowhere in sight. I found her moments later. On the toilet. When I walked in the bathroom, she asked me if I would "toilet paper her booty". So we dove right in. Calvin liked the treats he got everytime. He has done FABULOUS. Three accidents total in 4 days. (I'm not sure, does peeing on your sister mean he had an accident? Because it seemed very deliberate to me.) Even during the night he has been great. Sunny liked it for a minute. Once she realized how happy it made me for her to go to the bathroom on the toilet, she decided the treats just weren't worth it. We were sitting on the toilet (well, she was) and I asked if she was going to go she said "I am not going to go potty. I don't want to" and she reminded me an important lesson I learned long ago with my first child, Ethan. You have to pick your battles. With Sunny this is an important lesson. We are the same person and neither of us like to give in. We both wanted to win. She wanted her way. Her way consisted of going to the bathroom, in her pants. Anytime and anywhere. I wanted my way. My way meant having only Finley in diapers, and no more changing poop that belonged in the toilet. My way sounded better. So we fought. For awhile. Finally I decided (after cleaning up her 4th accident) that I would have to be an adult this time and bow out gracefully. I was bitter, I admit. But I suppose I would rather change a diaper than wipe up the floor.

1 out of 2 isn't bad right? I mean, atleast I got Calvin on board. Ethan and Tyler are so excited. They think that now that he wears underwear he is big enough to play gamecube with them. They are sweet big brothers. Ethan shed a few tears over Calvin's most recent accident. He said that he just felt bad for him because he had been doing so well. I reminded him of the accident he had last week. Don't tell him I told you....

Choo- Choo!!!

It's a mad world.

Everyone else is doing it...

2005-12-07T21:47:00.000-07:00

It seems as though blogging is the hot new trend in this crazy world of technology. I am not normally one to follow the crowd, unless it is really cool. This happens to be cool, so in this case, lead me, I am ready to follow.

I won't start my blog out by saying that I don't have anything to say. Because heaven knows, I ALWAYS have something to say. And these days, nobody to say it all to. For some reason my kids don't really care much about what I would like to talk about. And because of the number of children I have spawned, I don't have much time to say it all to my husband. So this is my new outlet. Get ready for me to talk your ear off... :)

I have titled my blog, "It's A Mad World". Why, you ask? Because it is. But it is my world, and I actually really love it. I love my life. I love my kids. I am just not sure how much I enjoy the work it takes to raise them. I suppose it is all worth it, atleast that is what everyone always tells me.

Today I tried to go to the mall with my 3 youngest kids. Calvin (3), Sunny (2) and Finn (5 months). Not one of my better ideas. It is the holidays, everyone was at the mall (don't kids go to school during the day anymore? And what ever happened to working?). My double stroller is in storage (another mad story for another mad day) and if you know Sunny, she needs to be tied down...Somehow. So Sunny went running one way, Calvin another and Finn was SCREAMING. All the grandparents (a really nice way of saying all the really old people who were way too grouchy to be somewhere like the mall) were trying to give me advice on how to keep my kids restrained and that the babies feet were cold (I live in Arizona, what really is cold anyway?) rather than letting me chase after them. One old man asked me if I have "seen those fancy new carriages they make for people who have kids the way I do" (huh, I didn't remember asking). So I finally get them gathered and we sit down to eat lunch. Calvin who was trying really hard to give Finn a binky finally gave up and said "Mom, Finn will not stop crying. Could you please just put him back in your tummy?" If only Calvin, if only....

It's a mad world.

Who's That Girl?

2005-12-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

I am a Mom. And these days, I forget what else. I have been happily married for almost 9 years. Wow, huh? I have 5 kids. Yes, 5. And I like it that way. Ethan is 7, and is already way too smart for me. Tyler is 5, and I have yet to meet a child as sweet as him. Calvin is my 3 year old, mohawk wearing, crazy Rockstar. Sunny is my teenaged 2 year old, who is wild, strongminded, difficult, independent and has to have things her way or no way. All those things make her a hard little girl to raise, but those are also all my favorite things about her. Finn is 5 months old, stinking cute and just trying to figure out what in the world is going on. In my previous life, I was a hairdresser. I LOVE doing hair. It is right on the heels of being a wife and a Mom. I am sure I would love to do things like travel, read, go out with my husband, ya know stuff like that. But I currently do no such thing. Rather, I fill my day with much more adventurous things, the zoo, dirt, toys that make alot of noise, bottles, carpools, soccer games, things I really love. So this is me. My life is anything but uneventful and boring, it is in fact full of adventure, and mishaps. But boy, is it great.